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Grand Member
Member Since Feb 2006
Posts: 941
18 2 hugs
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Jun 04, 2008 at 08:18 AM
#1
When things are really bad, and you are just not coping, how do you stop yourself taking out your anger on the children when it is taking over?
(Please note, I am reacting to 'disipline-needed' situations, not just random times when I get angry; and it is NOT physical, *just* yelling instead of talking calmly!!!). * Walking away is not an option; usually I am disiplining my oldest who has many behavioural problems and constantly physically targets her little sister...or me...or uses objects as weapons or as ways to destroy the room she happens to be in at the time etc. __________________ I know that behind every grey cloud there is a silver lining; I just need to be patient enough to find it!!! |
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Member
Member Since Dec 2003
Location: Ohio
Posts: 297
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Jun 04, 2008 at 10:05 AM
#2
Can you call another adult to come over for a short time and give you a break to take a hot bubble bath or step out for a walk and/or trip to the park or mall or something ?? Taking a break is important as it sounds like you have an extra challenging child to raise.
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 5,042
17 1 hugs
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Jun 05, 2008 at 02:26 PM
#3
My normal answer would be wait until you've got a clear head before handing out punishments. How old is this child that is striking you? Why can't you and your daughter leave the room until his fit is finished? Does he have a therapist? Doctor? Is there a person that the child respects that can talk to him?
__________________ I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children. |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,840
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Jun 05, 2008 at 05:22 PM
#4
Im sorry this is a tough time for you, I hope you have some assistance in this.
__________________ Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn's rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there, I did not die. R.I.P. Bandit 7-12-08 I love you I miss you. |
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Member
Member Since May 2008
Posts: 46
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Jun 29, 2008 at 12:58 PM
#5
Hi Sujunew,
I've gone through similar experiences with my youngest boy and he would make his older siblings cry believe it or not. Just by throwing toys, etc in there faces and always doing things to them. When I was by myself, I would even be holding the door closed on my son as I needed to physically be AWAY for the moment and time out wouldn't matter. If you can get a good child psychologist to help with parenting issues, it helps to have someone to call in emergency situations. Many times I'd be crying on the phone during those "moments" because of the high stress. With enough of those calls to hear our child raging in the background, they decided to try medication on him which was a Godsend! Good luck to you and try to find some sort of respite in your area. If you can't find someone immediately, maybe try the local university for a psych major student who would be interested in giving you some free time in exchange for observing what makes your son tick. |
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Grand Member
Member Since Feb 2006
Posts: 941
18 2 hugs
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Jun 29, 2008 at 11:44 PM
#6
Thanks. I am out of the 'angry cycle' for now thank goodness so things are a lot easier, and I can cope much better with everything that life throws at me!!! When I first posted it was about a week before her father's wedding and the stress was huge for everyone. I was mostly angry at how he was treating Chloe, but also more personally in that he has moved on with his life but I am still very much (altho by choice) single etc. But anyway...!
She has started seeing a psychologist, and things are going better for all of us. So thanks again everyone 
__________________ I know that behind every grey cloud there is a silver lining; I just need to be patient enough to find it!!! |
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New Member
Member Since Jun 2008
Posts: 5
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Jul 01, 2008 at 10:59 PM
#7
When I find myself getting really grouchy I usually warn my son. Kind of give him a heads up so to speak. I try really really hard not to take it out on him no matter what I am upset about because I have been on the recieving end way too many times. I also know that if I am angry and start screaming at him he is gonna get angry and start screaming back at me and then it just keeps going. When it gets to where he is the one I am angry at I will usually step away to collect my thoughts. I will take a bath or something to relax and I usually calm down alot and I am able to "discuss" it instead of yelling. Or there is always the thing my mother used to do, lol. Count backwards from 20.
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jul 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 418
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Jul 10, 2008 at 01:06 AM
#8
Lately, I try to step away from the situation and tell my 12 year old daughter that I need a break for a few minutes....then I come back and address the situation. I definitely try to calm down before issuing any punishment of any sort. It is difficult, however, because it seems like I am angry all of the time... It is frustrating and kind of foreign at this point because happy is not something I am familiar with....it is only something that I dream of....
I find that parenting with bipolar is extremely difficult. In addition, I have social anxiety disorder so that certainly doesn't help the situation. I hope you find the answers that you were looking for. TJ __________________  Smooches! Hope you have a Beautiful, Blessed Day!Thyroid disorders can cause depression and can mimic bipolar disorder... Please read below regarding one form, hypothyroidism, and have your numbers checked...TSH, T3, T4, Free T3, Free T4, and Thyroid Antibodies (for Graves Disease and Hashimotos Disease (which mimics BP)
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