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Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 1
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#1
I have two teen daughters who lives with me, they do have an older sister who is 22, and is very independent, and on her own. My two daughters who live with me, one is 15, and one is 19, I am a single mom and they live with me (my 19 year old had just graduated high school in June 2008), they also see their father quite often, he lives 5 miles away, but his work requires him to be out of town a lot.
They seem to look for trouble involving a friends, one who has been in juvenile detention for 6 months and released on probation. Most of their friends are male friends, also one is the age of 21. This friend lives across the street in another apartment building. This friend of theirs 21, had broke into a vacant apartment, in our apartment building one night and someone (??..don't know), had called the local police and my two daughters were seen with this person and involved. My oldest daughter (19), had claimed both her, and her sister was "not involved" with this break-in. This happened after I went to bed around 10:00 p.m. My daughters seem to "sneak out" after I go to sleep at night very often. I can not keep my eyes on them at "ALL" times!! This particular night, I was awaken between 1:00 a.m. and 1:30 a.m., by the local police (Sherriff's Department). I got dressed and went outside as the police told me to, and was very furious with my daughters when I went outside. The police just stood by why I was yelling at my girls for going outsde, after I told them not to, and for sneaking out after I went to bed. My landlord was also called to come out and he was already there when I walked outside, at this time of the morning. Since I am on good terms with my landlord, he did not want to press any charges with my girls, and he also knew this 21 year old male, in which he also was on good terms with him. I was very fortunate that he didn't press charges!! I have tried several times to enforce my house rules, but these rules never seems to work out. There are other occurances that are similar to this one!!! One day in the future they will not be so lucky. I know they are sexually active also, this really scares me expecially with my 15 year old!!! On 4th of July weekend, my 19 year old went with this friend who is 16 (a minor), and has her own vehicle, she wanted to see her boyfriend, in another state in which was a 6 hour drive one way, from where we live, and another 15 year old male friend also went with them. This 16 year old female who drove, was from another state, 3 hours away, and came here to where we live to see my daughter, and I found out later on that she left her parents home where she lived, two days prior to seeing my daughter, and also in her town the police was notified by her parents, that she was a missing teenager. They left on, 4th of July evening (Friday night), and didn't return until Saturday evening late. There were no phone calls, no way to contact them, my daughter had no cell phone, the 16 year old had a cell phone, but turned her cell phone off. Even though my daughter is 19, she still lives with me, I know she is considered an "adult", but her actions and her behavior is like those of a 13 year old. What can I possibly do about my two daughters.....???? |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,527
17 |
#2
I feel your pain; I have four children and since this "mental illness" has arisen they have become a handful. Frequently I blame myself for not being there "emotionally" for them. But the teen years are rocky. I've had the same issue with falling asleep only to have them sneak out. Just got done with juvenile court with my 15 year old too. I wanted to rip her to pieces for not thinking (of course I wouldn't touch her). I wish I had some advice for you, but all I can do is commiserate. Misery loves company!
__________________ Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul... Angel |
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2005
Location: cornwall/united kingdom
Posts: 11,157
19 112 hugs
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#3
i am sorry that your girls don't respect you, so as to follow your rules
first things first if you know they are both sexually active take them to docs to get checked for sexual disease's and put them on some form of contraceptive don't lecture they wont listen they are rebelling mixing with the wrong crowd but what to do to make them safe and you safe from there actions if they get out apartment door get a key lock to it and lock it on going to bed and keep key on you , if they go out window on to fire escape thats another problem as you cant lock these points but you can put something in these areas to notify you of them moving a baby monitor, or a mat for disabled ppl put it under a mat near doors turn on before bed a alarm will go of as soon as they step on it if they still manage to get out tell them if they act like this they have to take responsibilities for there behavior any wrong doing they take whats dished out always carry a phone and keep it turned on simple rules talk to them about the times you want them in try to come up with a compromise i know teens can be hard work i have been lucky i know where mine are but others i have seen all ways in trouble and where we used to live there is a rise in teen pregnancies hopefully others will come up with good advice too __________________ No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves. |
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