[honeybee777]

I really want to relfect on some of my bad / good behaviors, after seeking help from a T this year. When i had first got to pc, I was a mess! But denial is a very scary thing ya know? When i had first came to pc was because I had an affair on my husband, but the things was a didnt feel bad about it! I felt he didnt give me what I needed, btw overs years of emotional abuse, and thought I deserved to go out and find love! But that so called "love" was lurking in some pretty dark and desperate people! I was again taking advantage of, with this guy I left my husband for, and was left to go back to my husband, from there I really had to decide if I wanted to work on my marriage! I had tried in the past and my Husband was unwilling to step up to the plate for his emotional abuse. I decided to tell him the truth about my affair, and really try to work on our marriage! At first his response was normal, he felt betrayed , but i was trying to make him realize he betrayed me first! But my actions of leaving him and wanting to separate were not wise action, they were my HPD working in me, i realized later!
When I first got on this site i was attached to a couple of me, whom I found very attractive, and dove into online relationships with them, again not wise at all! Dove into the same thinking patterns and almost left him again, he was still unwillingly to do his part in the marriage department.
So i finally got a T that understood why my HPD was there, but was also dx with features of another pd, when i started working on myself i had great resentment towards my hubby and almost got to the point of leaving him on mu own, I didnt want a man anymore! I guess at that point I had some breakthrough, it was do or die for me, I wanted to deal with my PD!!
I have found a lot of healing in many areas, especially my marriage! He decided to get on board with me and see if we could work this thing out! We are not 100% yet but happy! I've dealt with my emotional states and triggers and know them well enough to back up when I need to back up! I dealt with the massive sexual abuse that happened to me over the years, and I feel much clearer now. I had noticed there were not to many testimonials in this forum and wanted to show there is light at the end of the tunnel, its hard work but worth it, now Im not healed all the way, with what I went through as a child, idk if anyone can be, but Im a lot clearer today and thats what counts!!!

[ApothicSun]

I'm glad that your life is doing well now

[honeybee777]

thanks !!!

[Onward2wards]

Congratulations (((honeybee))) I know it's been a long and difficult road.

[honeybee777]

I love you sooooooooooooo much On2 its been a very difficult road, but i think alot of it had to do with my manic fases to, when i become manic, OMG it sets off the HPD like crazy, then i need people like you and s4 to stop me LOL, i thank God for this site and people like you !!!!