[honeybee777]

I've been spending a lot of time reading so many previous posts from the past on this forum after having briefly came here for correct understanding of HPD. So many here have helped me. I think I can help someone too. Part of the problem with irrational "logic" is that it is so counter intuitive that its very difficult to recognize for a NON in day to day situations and conversations that SEEM normal for the most part.

I've discovered something that's not new to me but is much more clear now. I realize some people on this forum have already figured it out but it's worth having a more thorough discussion about and I would hope that NON's and/or HPD's alike help expand on it.

The concept of this discussion is simple. NON's tend to say directly to the point what they mean to communicate without false pretenses or the intent of playing a game. HPD's sometimes will say things that appear to be directly to the point but really aren't. The messages the HPD sends are sometimes cleverly calculated and disguised through a series of exchanges that are actually part of more sophisticated game they are playing whose desired outcome is kept secretly to themselves.

They are so adept at it that calling them out on it would make you look like you're being paranoid in most cases. This is very frustrating for a NON. It puts a NON in the position of having no way to escape the game the HPD has invented to play.

Let me illustrate with a real world actual example of what I'm talking about: I'm going to show a step by step real text message conversation between a NON and an HPD then follow that with a step by step examination of what both were thinking at each step in the conversation.

Actual Conversation Step By Step
============================
1. HPD: Question, why would someone tell you over the phone that they are changing clothes?

2. NON: Changing clothes on the phone?

3. NON: That's Talent [sarcastically]

4. HPD: What?

5. NON: Changing clothes while on the phone (talent)...

6. HPD: Oh its easy I do it all the time but why announce it?

7. NON: They want you to think of them naked

8. HPD: That's what I gathered sooo not right. Just wondering if I was right or if it was normal and since I'm not normal just didn't get it. Thank You.

9. NON: Somebody wants you...

10. HPD: Damn it and I was hoping he was safe. Haven't talked to him in 15 years since I lived in Florida. He was a best friend and I was 17 and he wouldn't touch me because of age which was great. He was a great friend. He totally fed my writing and need for words. He's an amazing writer. He's very married and very happy and three hours away was my Dad's best friend at work. He should not be telling me he's changing clothes damn it. There should be a phone rule; don't say that _ _ _ T to me.

11. HPD: It's been a day. Look at what I woke up to from SOMEONE ELSE: "If you were with me it would be great. When are you going to leave him and come to me?"

12. NON: Oh wow

13: HPD: I don't find that kinda stuff flattering. It annoys me especially when I have told someone to back off not going to happen.

14. NON: Is that someone else that you use to know too?

15: HPD: Yes, someone I cut off a year and half ago. He's not my type but he still tries bless his little heart. You'd think by now he would have got the hint. Yep, he was just a booty call for me. A fast 30 minute booty call lol bwhahahahah.


What Each Is Really Thinking At Each Step
===================================
1. HPD: Unbeknownst to you, this is the start of a mind-game I'm playing right now to make sure you know whose really in control here. You need reminding of your proper place (which has diminished) because I'm getting more attention now from others. This clever approach should work. Watch this!

2. NON: She's talking to someone right now who just told her they are changing their clothes while they are on the phone talking to her. Ok. Now, she wants me to speculate on why someone would say that to her while on the phone with her. Why doesn't she just ask the person she's talking to instead of asking me? Hmm, I wonder who she's talking to right now. This dialogue feels strange and odd. Somethings not right here, but I can't put my finger on it.

3. NON: I suppose I'll just answer her odd question and make a joke out of it.

4. HPD: No! You're not getting it. Why aren't you asking me who it is? Why aren't you recognizing that I'm trying to make you feel threatened and weaker than me? You're making a sarcastic remark? A joke? I'm trying to accomplish a specific outcome here. I have designed a role for you in this game and you aren't playing along. I'm confused now.

5. NON: I suppose she is confused so I shall clarify. I was joking and I mean the person you're talking to has talent.

6. HPD: You're not getting out of this game yet. I'm going to try and force you to the conclusion I want you to reach by asking the question again! Now, play my game!

7. NON: She seriously wants me to think about this again? Well, if someone told me they were taking their clothes off then it would probably make me think about them being naked. Duh. Why is she being so weird?

8. HPD: Thank god! I thought you'd never start playing this game properly. Thank you thank you thank you! I'm just going to play dumb because I know it was way to obvious of an answer for me to even ask you this question but the question was just a means to an end to continue building up to me reminding you that I have a lot of male attention and that you could be replaced by numerous others that you don't know about that I'm making you aware of RIGHT NOW!

9. NON: Well, maybe this guy is trying to be sexual with her and he wants her.

10. HPD: Just in case it's not clear, I want to point out this guy and mention touching and being sexual and all that just to really drill it into your brain about other men who are competing for my attention. But, I'd never say all that to your face. Instead, see how coy and innocent I am while I'm getting my point across so calculatedly? I'm playing the part of the naive "good girl" so well right now. Finally, you are playing my game my way and I have you duped and I can sense your vulnerability growing.

11. HPD: I can't stop now. I'm on a roll. Now, I need to ADD on to what I've gotten started here and mention even more MEN to really rattle your cage. I'm just getting started. Buckle your seat belt and put your tray table in the upright position this is gonna be a rough ride.

12. NON: Umm, I'm kinda shocked and hurt that I'm hearing about this guy and that guy (what the heck is going on here?)

13. HPD: Oh, now look at me. I'm playing the good girl innocent victim while letting you know that I'm being pursued by other men. I'm such a great role player of the damsel in distress don't you think?

14. NON: I'm worried now. Who are these guys? Where did they come from all of the sudden after 9 months in this relationship? What the heck is wrong here?

15. HPD: Finally, I get to issue my master piece which is to tell you that one of these guys is someone I HAVE HAD SEX WITH in the past. Now you should feel really threatened and weak and be shaken up so you know I'm really in control here. You could be replaced so easy and I'm going to continue tormenting you in this way as long as you let me.

as you can see, WEe are different than most LOL