advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-15-2021, 04:16 AM   #1
ReveuseTroublee
Member
ReveuseTroublee has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2021
Location: France
Posts: 154
1 yr Member
86 hugs
given
Unhappy Traumatized by psychiatry?

I just had a bad panic attack - memories of that time returned.
I tried to show myself that my surroundings looked different.
That I was home and safe but it did not work that well.
I feel bad - like I should feel thankful.
But I feel the opposite...
And guilty because of this.
Maybe it will go away on it's own again over time.
I don't know if I can handle meeting with a mental health professional - I am scared of it.
Therapy scares me.
It makes me feel like they have control over my life. Not me.
And also I am tired of being judged.
Like I got many times.
I don't want to tell my whole story here.
Now chunks of memories of that time are resurfacing.
I feel like I am not allowed to call this trauma.
Or people will tell me to not overreact and to be thankful.
That this is not valid.
I trust my psychiatrist - it will be awful probably to meet him in terms of anxiety but I am trying to tell myself he is different. And has treated me well unlike the rest.
I feel so awful for hating these people.
They just help.
So I should love them for what they do and appreciate their work.
I just can't.
I am scared to open up. For letting one in.
Maybe I can erase the hate (through therapy)
But I feel like the hate is also protecting me...
Even if it makes me feel guilty.
I am not a hateful person neither angry.
But lately I feel like that changed.
And I hate myself for it.
I am scared I am really overreacting like they told me.
And I am wrong in feeling the way I do.
I talked to a friend who also told me that place has added to her trauma - but she has been through so much worse than me.

I just feel like I never left that place.
I feel alone with this but deep down I highly suspect am not and that is saddening.
Nobody talks about this... Like a taboo.
Mental and general hospital were horrible experiences for me... The forced treatment mostly.
Everything that happened now fuels my ED.
ReveuseTroublee is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
Old 03-15-2021, 03:36 PM   #2
Yaowen
Magnate
 
Yaowen's Avatar
Yaowen has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 2,880 (SuperPoster!)
2 yr Member
5,061 hugs
given
Default Re: Traumatized by psychiatry?

Dear ReveuseTroublee,

My heart goes out to you! I share so many of the thoughts and feelings you describe. You describe them better than I ever could. I think your thoughts and feelings are totally understandable.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
Yaowen is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 03-16-2021, 06:17 PM   #3
The_little_didgee
Grand Magnate
The_little_didgee has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,391
8 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Traumatized by psychiatry?

You are definitely not alone. People are traumatized by hospital stays. The medical profession knows this. Psychiatry knows it, too.

Iíve been in an inpatient psych unit a few times in my life. The experiences have definitely left a permanent mark on me, mostly in a bad way. My worst experience was in an adolescent inpatient psych unit at a childrenís hospital. The place was about power and intimidation. Teenage BS, social contagion (e.g., self-harm), and the wordless psychiatrist who preferred psychoanalysis type therapy made the place hell. When I entered that place I was sad. That is it. Eight weeks later I came out broken and despondent.

The adult inpatient unit at a general hospital was a better experience. The patients were more diverse and there was more privacy. The staff were a lot more respectful. There was no emphasis on shaping people to conform to society, which I appreciated. People rarely acted out and fought with the staff, unlike the drama filled adolescent psych unit.

Iíve been a medical patient as well. It wasnít as traumatic, even though some procedures felt violating at times. I didnít particularly enjoy getting pocked for blood and IVs. They were way worse than NG tubes and Foley catheters.

I donít know if it is possible to fully recover from iatrogenic harm and hospitalizations. I certainly havenít been able to. The only thing that has helped me is avoidance (as much as possible). Whenever I have to go I keep to myself. For me that means not revealing history, diagnosis etc to any patients. This has helped tremendously.

My experiences have taught me to be cautious especially around medical personnel. Iím a lot more reluctant to go to the doctor for medical issues. Psychiatry is different. I wonít reach out even when I am suffering. The fear of being judged and misdiagnosed is overwhelming enough that I would rather suffer in silence than subject myself to those people.



__________________
Dx: Didgee Disorder
The_little_didgee is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 06-03-2021, 04:19 PM   #4
dancinglady
Poohbah
dancinglady Primary concern
 
Member Since: May 2013
Posts: 1,190
8 yr Member
922 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Traumatized by psychiatry?

Same here. I have more PTSD from mental health then anything that brought to the mental health clinicians.
dancinglady is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 06-04-2021, 12:13 PM   #5
splitimage
Moderator
Community Support Team
 
splitimage's Avatar
splitimage has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 10,659
15 yr Member
37 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Traumatized by psychiatry?

You are definitely not alone. I've been inpatient 3 times. Two times were great, but the one was awful. I was in the general psych unit which was basically a holding tank for anyone on a psych hold for evaluation or while waiting for transfer to a more specialized unit. Lots of people acting out, screaming or talking non stop. And we couldn't close our room doors so random patients would just wander in. I left it more messed up than when I went in.

splitimage
__________________


"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favorite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba



Traumatized by psychiatry?



As some of you may know, my blog is currently off-line due to some problems at my previous site host. I'm working with my web master to rebuild and get back on-line.
splitimage is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 06-04-2021, 01:00 PM   #6
Painterwithlight
Junior Member
 
Painterwithlight's Avatar
Painterwithlight has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2021
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 21
23 hugs
given
Heart Re: Traumatized by psychiatry?

Hi,
I've had 5 hospital stays, 2 absolutely a horror show, one bad in ER and fine inpatient, and 2 that were bad because I was in a hard mental state.
Where I live psych hospitals are absolutely underfunded, understaffed, and overly filled.

Going back into therapy afterward was extremely hard, but that keeps me stable and allows me to maintain a job. I do not do well at forming thereuptic relationships either, but after about a year and a half I felt pretty comfortable with my current therapist.

Give yourself time and grace. Lots of us have had that experience of trauma from the treatment that was worse than what we went in for. Know you are not alone.
Painterwithlight is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-29-2021, 04:45 PM   #7
darkfeary
Member
darkfeary has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Michigan
Posts: 62
2 yr Member
2 hugs
given
Default Re: Traumatized by psychiatry?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dancinglady View Post
Same here. I have more PTSD from mental health then anything that brought to the mental health clinicians.
Me too!
darkfeary is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 10-29-2021, 04:56 PM   #8
darkfeary
Member
darkfeary has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Michigan
Posts: 62
2 yr Member
2 hugs
given
Default Re: Traumatized by psychiatry?

I have stayed in the psych ward 3 times and it was traumatic each time but I was desperate as I am now but this time I do not want to go there ever. I am scared that I am headed there. The whole mental health system is problematic. Pharmaceuticals, psychiatrists, therapist, etc.

The staff where I went was very rude and condescending. They did not care or show compassion at all. The doctors treated us like lab rats , ignored us, and talked about us in front of our face when we were seated right there. Soooo many horrible experiences.

And never go to residential without thorough research and verifying the credibility of the place. A lot of them are just scams to make lots of money.
darkfeary is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-30-2021, 09:31 AM   #9
pachyderm
Legendary
 
pachyderm's Avatar
pachyderm without status for sure.
 
Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Washington DC metro area
Posts: 15,568 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
2,811 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Traumatized by psychiatry?

Quote:
Originally Posted by darkfeary View Post
The staff where I went was very rude and condescending.
Probably compensating for their own fears.
__________________
Now if thou would'st
When all have given him o'er
From death to life
Thou might'st him yet recover
-- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631
pachyderm is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 04-16-2022, 09:45 PM   #10
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 93,756 (SuperPoster!)
15 yr Member
77k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Traumatized by psychiatry?

You're definitely not alone.
__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-24-2022, 04:42 PM   #11
willowtigger
Veteran Member
 
willowtigger's Avatar
willowtigger is living in a powder keg and its giving off sparks
 
Member Since: Mar 2022
Location: UK
Posts: 525 (SuperPoster!)
329 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Traumatized by psychiatry?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ReveuseTroublee View Post
I just had a bad panic attack - memories of that time returned.
I tried to show myself that my surroundings looked different.
That I was home and safe but it did not work that well.
I feel bad - like I should feel thankful.
But I feel the opposite...
And guilty because of this.
Maybe it will go away on it's own again over time.
I don't know if I can handle meeting with a mental health professional - I am scared of it.
Therapy scares me.
It makes me feel like they have control over my life. Not me.
And also I am tired of being judged.
Like I got many times.
I don't want to tell my whole story here.
Now chunks of memories of that time are resurfacing.
I feel like I am not allowed to call this trauma.
Or people will tell me to not overreact and to be thankful.
That this is not valid.
I trust my psychiatrist - it will be awful probably to meet him in terms of anxiety but I am trying to tell myself he is different. And has treated me well unlike the rest.
I feel so awful for hating these people.
They just help.
So I should love them for what they do and appreciate their work.
I just can't.
I am scared to open up. For letting one in.
Maybe I can erase the hate (through therapy)
But I feel like the hate is also protecting me...
Even if it makes me feel guilty.
I am not a hateful person neither angry.
But lately I feel like that changed.
And I hate myself for it.
I am scared I am really overreacting like they told me.
And I am wrong in feeling the way I do.
I talked to a friend who also told me that place has added to her trauma - but she has been through so much worse than me.

I just feel like I never left that place.
I feel alone with this but deep down I highly suspect am not and that is saddening.
Nobody talks about this... Like a taboo.
Mental and general hospital were horrible experiences for me... The forced treatment mostly.
Everything that happened now fuels my ED.

i'm so sorry, how are you feeling now?
__________________
"It's difficult" Boxer "I know, my friend, please do it for me, do it for all of us" Jessie - Animal Farm 1999
"There are some days, dark and bitter Seems we haven't got a prayer But a prayer for something better Is the one thing we all share" Someday - Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame
"If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever" for my angel girl flying high
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD7kFCSfvvY
The future will not remember, the past does not forget
willowtigger is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 04-28-2022, 05:43 PM   #12
*Beth*
~remember to breathe~
 
*Beth*'s Avatar
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown California
Posts: 11,700 (SuperPoster!)
2 yr Member
17.5k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Traumatized by psychiatry?

I have been traumatized by IP stays and by a number of pdocs over the years. My most recent (former) med provider has truly damaged my life. She went beyond "this is not a good situation" to putting flat-out lies on my medical records because she was outraged that I challenged her experience. My therapist is working with that prescriber's supervisor to straighten the mess out. I'm dealing with serious trauma from that provider and extreme mistrust of psychiatry, in general.
__________________




Traumatized by psychiatry?




*Beth* is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 04-29-2022, 02:47 PM   #13
The_little_didgee
Grand Magnate
The_little_didgee has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,391
8 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Traumatized by psychiatry?

That awful feeling of judgement I had while undergoing treatment has been confirmed, along with lying. My medical records confirmed it.

How can treatment work if the providers are lying and being judgemental? The dishonesty, cognitive bias and misdiagnosis made it impossible for me to get decent treatment. All I got was iatrogenic harm, that I was blamed for.

If you want to know the truth, get a copy of your records.
__________________
Dx: Didgee Disorder
The_little_didgee is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-29-2022, 03:06 PM   #14
The_little_didgee
Grand Magnate
The_little_didgee has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,391
8 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Traumatized by psychiatry?

The last time I saw my psychiatrist, I asked her if she was honest with me. E.g., charting and diagnosis. She said she was. I then added that is was a complete waste of my time seeing her if she wasn't.

I'm going to challenge her the next time I see her by requesting to read her notes from my last visit.
__________________
Dx: Didgee Disorder
The_little_didgee is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 04-29-2022, 04:45 PM   #15
willowtigger
Veteran Member
 
willowtigger's Avatar
willowtigger is living in a powder keg and its giving off sparks
 
Member Since: Mar 2022
Location: UK
Posts: 525 (SuperPoster!)
329 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Traumatized by psychiatry?

Quote:
Originally Posted by The_little_didgee View Post
That awful feeling of judgement I had while undergoing treatment has been confirmed, along with lying. My medical records confirmed it.

How can treatment work if the providers are lying and being judgemental? The dishonesty, cognitive bias and misdiagnosis made it impossible for me to get decent treatment. All I got was iatrogenic harm, that I was blamed for.

If you want to know the truth, get a copy of your records.

i have a theory that they treat patients badly cause they fear they could "catch" the same mental illness

i'm sure some of them think that mental illness can spread like germs ........
__________________
"It's difficult" Boxer "I know, my friend, please do it for me, do it for all of us" Jessie - Animal Farm 1999
"There are some days, dark and bitter Seems we haven't got a prayer But a prayer for something better Is the one thing we all share" Someday - Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame
"If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever" for my angel girl flying high
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD7kFCSfvvY
The future will not remember, the past does not forget
willowtigger is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 05-07-2022, 01:28 PM   #16
The_little_didgee
Grand Magnate
The_little_didgee has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,391
8 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Traumatized by psychiatry?

Quote:
Originally Posted by willowtigger View Post
i have a theory that they treat patients badly cause they fear they could "catch" the same mental illness

i'm sure some of them think that mental illness can spread like germs ........

I think it is due to questioning professional opinions. Every patient has that right and it doesn't mean they are a pain in the ***.



Quote:
"I'm going to challenge her the next time I see her by requesting to read her notes from my last visit."



I asked and explained the reasons behind my request. She let me read the notes and explained the format that she must follow. The brief notes were actually truthful.
__________________
Dx: Didgee Disorder
The_little_didgee is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:57 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun on Psych Central in 2001. It now runs as an independent community, overseen by a group of dedicated volunteers.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.