Money

Money has always been the last thing on my mind. I never worried about it, and for the most part, never had to. That is, until, my Mom walked out on me when I was only 15. All of a sudden, everything changed. I moved in with my Grandparents, and they paid for everything I needed. Clothes, food, school, whatever. I never got more than I needed, and I never asked. I never got anything I WANTED. So when I got a job making pretty good money for my age, all of a sudden I could get what I wanted. That is, however, until the bills started coming.

It started with a phone bill, then a subscription, then doctor bills, then debt FROM the doctor bills, then car insurance, now TTL ON a car that my Dad (who has done nothing for me in my life except GIVE me this car) gave me. Some of you might be thinking "what are you complaining about, you got a car" but you don't know the whole story yet. My father paid child support to my Mother for a few years. The money never went to me, as she was living somewhere else. It went to her. Well, the DA apparently found my Mom and found out that she was getting Child Support so they started sending it to my Dad. He said he'd put it in a savings for my College and for my Car. Guess what, he DIDN'T. He got thousands of dollars and where did it go? His own personal expenses.

My Grandparents now have too many bills to support me. They let me live here, but all I have is a couch. No TV to myself, no room, no bed, nothing. I sleep on a couch in the living room. Which is fine, it's a house, but it's not ideal. I pay for my own bills, food, and anything else that happens to me. I still take money as something to not worry about, which gets me in trouble. If I go out with a friend and they don't have the money, I PAY for them. I PAY for anything, and it never worries me. Now I realize that all this money I have spent on nothing useful, it's now coming back to haunt me. Because now I have to somehow balance TTL AND getting new glasses (since they are broke and I CAN'T see without them) AND my car insurance payment due on the 28 AND groceries. I hate it. Now I HAVE to think about money, and it's all I ever think about.

I am only 19, and I am just starting on my own, and I have all this to think about and it sucks. It sucks that my Dad doesn't care, it sucks that my Mom doesn't care, and it sucks that my Grandparents don't really care. I guess I should be blaming myself, but I just wish it wasn't this hard.... Does anyone else have problems with money?

Yes, you have to be an adult and think about the money, we all do. Welcome to the grown up world; they don't talk about "food, shelter, and clothing" for nothing, that's what comes first and, for most people all they can afford. You have shelter you don't pay for (yet) but I'd stop with the paying for the friends! And I'd put your "needs" in front of your "wants". I got 1/3rd of a car when I graduated from college (e.g., my parents bought me a car and I had to pay the loan; the 1/3rd down payment was their gift).

Practice budgeting and getting it right now, it just gets harder and you get more behind, etc., it ain't fun! Really helpful site: http://money.cnn.com/magazines/moneymag/money101/

Sometimes, you need to do everything on your own. Not just for yourself, but to prove your worth. Take the advantages of it, thus you'll become mature. Be proud of it. Just think of it, as your training ground in building your own family. Too young? yes, but think of it in a positive view. Good luck and Godspeed!

Sometimes, you need to do everything on your own. Not just for yourself, but to prove your worth. Take the advantages of it, thus you'll become mature. Be proud of it. Just think of it, as your training ground in building your own family. Too young? yes, but think of it in a positive view. Good luck and Godspeed!

-------------------------------------
Alluring Lady

Hello ED,

I'm sorry that you're in this situation so young. Most kids your age are in college, still struggling though.

You don't have to worry about money if you use it wisely. I used to be awful with it 'til my ex husband one day decided he wasn't paying for shopping any more, or bills or for anything else. I had to do it and I had to buy presents for the grandkids and kids for birthdays and Yule Tide etc. Living on $350 a fortnight made it hard. He spent all of his money on gambling and alcohol.

I learned to budget and lay away for birthdays and Yule and I bought other gifts to pop away when I had the spare money. I reduced my outgoings to the bare minimum amount and was able to save. I still do not spend $5 notes, I save them in a tin with $1 & $2 coins and I'm always happy when I count it up. I used to do it regularly but now I just do it every now and again and I get a lovely surprise; it makes certain that I have a very nice cushion to land of if an unexpected bill comes in, or if I want to buy a treat or if I have to go somewhere in a hurry it gives me money in my pocket.

If you like you can try these tips; stop buying things for other people, buy only what you need, save 10% of your income and place it into a savings account, don't spend $5 notes and see where you are in say 6 months....Good luck with it...

I don't think your grandparents don't care, and I don't think you really think that either do you? They looked after you the very best they could and I think they still do what they can

I am sorry that you are struggling financially and yes, I have been there. When I was 20 y/o I was living in a room that cost $10 per week. No kitchen privileges, no way to cook or refrigerate food. Just a room with roaches and a shared bathroom. I made very little money working at McDonalds. I would eat a burger each day when I was working and when I returned to my room I would heat a can of tuna in my popcorn popper. It was a very depressing situation particularly because I did not know how to get a better job or afford an apartment.

Eventually I did find a way though. These days money is still tight but I am keeping my head above water.

I wish you luck.

I'm glad your grandparents care about you to give you the sofa. That is very difficult for older people to not be able to amble about their own home whenever and however they want.

Part of your problem with money, if I may be so bold to say, is that you seemed ashamed that you don't have enough. Pride? You MUST tell your friends that if they can't pay their way, they can't go. I understand how good it feels to go out now and then, but really, putting that money aside and save it will go much farther, longer. It will also show your grandparents that you're maturing. Why not give it to them instead, in addition to the money you give them for food. Surely you take hot showers and turn on lights?

Go to the library and check out the materials by Suze Orman. She has one just for your age group...something like young fabulous and in debt ??? I forget. She is a financial guru. Used to be a waitress and made herself a multi millionaire and now helps others with their finances too.

Problems --or skills--- with money never go away. You have to purposely make changes for the better, make good habits, or you'll live like this the rest of your life. AND as I noted, with good financial habits formed NOW, they will carry you securely through your life, and you'll always be able to save or get money for what you want to do (as well as provide the normal little things like rent, food, gas lol)

Hang tight. Have you asked your grandparents for advice on how to get out of this situation?

Believe in Him or not --- GOD LOVES YOU!

Want to share your Christian faith? Click HERE