Stigma when financially stuggling?

How does one deal with it when it's clear based on the perspective of some politicians, some of the public and even in the media(yes I hear this even when I turn on the t.v at times)...that as far as anyone is concerned if you can't make it without the social safety network...you should basically die and quit wasting resources?

I mean its hard to deal with especially when I am already severely depressed...so any tips on how to deal with that sort of stigma.

I do not put any weight on TV. Just as one should not look to the ads there when thinking of buying a product but research the product to see how it might be a good fit for one's lifestyle, should not look at magazine ads when thinking about self-image; I don't believe listening to unknown-by-me people's opinions about me and my life is helpful to me.

Yeah you're probably right...I don't really watch much t.v anyways, I guess its just hard for that stuff not to get to me when I do hear about it.

I have that trouble with health shows, ads, weight loss and alternative pills and medicines and what we should or should not eat, etc.

One thing that helps me is talking back to the TV or other source (even something I'm reading online that I don't agree with) and clarifying what I believe and articulating it out loud to myself so I strengthen myself versus let them win with a passive attitude on my part. Know what you, yourself think and feel and why and what other people are doing or saying can't personally bother you as much.

I wish that was the case because I know what I think and feel and why, still hurts when it seems indicated by politicians or the media that if you're not working and making an income regardless of why you're just a burden or a parasite who burdens the 'tax payers' as if now people are divided between tax payers and 'the poor' supposedly 'leeching' off them.

But no it would be nice if I didn't get bothered by things.

I try to take the attitude of "Who cares what THEY think?" On the other hand, when I get depressed and start feeling down on myself, then I tend to start thinking like them. After all, I'm a 57-year-old woman with lots of health problems and also a MENTAL ILLNESS, for goodness sake, who lives off of social security disability. What good am I?

However, I try to do some good in this world. I'd like to hope, for example, that at least occasionally I say something here on PC that is helpful to someone else. Those kinds of things help get me through.

I guess sometimes I think they're right...I mean I smoke weed, I drink and I've done plenty other drugs I have not really contributed to society in any way...yet I expect government help...I mean who am I fooling. I just don't understand life anymore.

OMFG where do i start? This is for the "walk in" mental health clinic in nyc. SO, I get there at 9AM, and there's only one person ahead of me, keep that in mind. I first have to walk through a metal detector and strip down of all my metals by police. I have to wait and be seen by three different staff before even getting considered being put on a WAITING list of 4 weeks for just a therapist. (I'm coming here for anxiety and trauma related issues also keep that in mind) Now its about 1:30 and had to wait for everyone to go on their lunch breaks. I was sent to go pay right then and there even though I haven't even been seen by a therapist or doctor yet. By the way, waiting "hall" has no magazines, tv and not permitted to use cell phones. I paid, waited some more and then was called in again only to be asked for a mandated Urine Drug and blood test. I was then told to come back the next day just to speak with another staff to determine if I was eligible for the WAITING list of 4 weeks and to go over my test results. So i had to wait there for 6 hours with only one person in front of me....I asked if the drug test was necessary and they informed me everyone had to take one. I asked the board of directors if she could ensure me with a personally stated note attached to the drug test that these test results would not be shared with anyone without my consent and she refused. The result of me trying to get "Help" only ended in elevated stress levels, loss of money/time and more hopelessness. I had already been calling around for a MONTH trying to get help and the clinics either were "no longer accepting new patients" or just kept passing me along the system referring me to other people. Not even the suicide hotline was any help. Conclusion, theres only access to "Help" to those who have money and those who are trying to hurt themselves or others, everyone else can fend for themselves.

Yeah I am kind of worried about having such experiences, but I guess I'll see what happens. If that's the only sort of thing I will find then I think my position will be thanks but no thanks and I'll give fending for myself a go...which might be hard since I can't function on a job. But its gotten down to the point I have to do something so trying to get help is my plan, but if the 'help' just alienates me further then I am not quite sure what I'll do, but I guess I'll worry about that when and if it comes to that.

I just find it interesting because I am trying NOT to hurt myself, I mean I cant even count the number of times I probably would have attempted suicide if I didn't drink or smoke instead to calm myself down so I could re-think things and not act on uncontrollable feelings. Also I don't typically hurt others...I am afraid with my PTSD that startle/survival mode reflex could get me in trouble though so I sometimes am worried about hurting people but is nothing I'd want to do. But I see your point and that does seem to be the impression I get...basically be the sort of person we want you to do, live the lifestyle we want you to or no help for you. I just hope there's at least some good resources where I live but I don't know.

Just have to vent some...on some other site I guess its not hate speech to say people on welfare should have their rights revoked and be deported, so long as its in the politics section. I don't know just kind of pisses me off since if they were directing this at a specific race or gender it would have probably been deleted for being hate speech. But I guess it's ok to want the rights revoked from people on welfare and have them deported so long as its not about race or gender.

Sorry for this it just pissed me off and that was basically the response I got from a moderator of the site.

Sometimes when I'm at my most mad state about stigma, I think, "I hope one day those folks who look down on people who are HAVING to rely on government help will one day find themselves in that very same situation." With the American economy the way it is, who knows? People can lose their fortune in the stock market in just one day! Or their health, for that matter....

I never thought I'd ever have to be on disability, much less in my forties, when I developed Bipolar Disorder and also got a bad case of fibromyalgia. I was a college professor with tenure at one point in my life, after all.

As far as your smoking weed, etc. Hellion, I personally don't see you as less of a person for those things, for goodness sake.

Just to let you know that I'm sure you do plenty of good for others. Now then, why or how could I know such a thing? Because, dear lady, you have said things here that have helped me. Thank you very much.

I kinda think that oftentimes, that it just may be our own mindset, which picks up on the negativities that others are speaking. See, we are the one's that have a negative self image problem, of ourselves. Why shouldn't we? I mean like we are now somehow "damaged goods", of no use anymore. This isn't true but it's how we feel about ourselves.

We're in shock to find ourselves in this predicament. How could, or why, did this happen to me? What did I do that was so wrong, to put me here in this place of uselessness? We AREN"T useless folks, we DO have purpose, and use, it's just in different areas than before, that's all.

Then, we try to somehow, to navigate the System's confusing roadblocks to try and get some help, just so that we can survive, and have a roof over our heads, and food in our bellies. The Government set up these systems of help and assistance for people just like us. So STOP feeling guilty for signing up for these various programs.

The politicians spouting off on TV? It's all rhetoric and a smokescreen. SSDI, SSI, Medicare, and Medicaid have been around around for years. They are in place for folks that have disabilities. That's us, you, and me, and countless others who find themselves now disabled

As far as folks kvetching about how EVERYBODY should be working? Trying to make us feel guilty because we can't work for whatever the reason? Keep this in mind - There are thousands of able-bodied folks out there, NOT WORKING, and they are relying on a Gov't program call Unemployment. I know of at least once, just last year, where Unemployment Benefits were extended. If there aren't any jobs out there, would you care to guess if they'll be exteded again?

I hope I've given us a new viewpoint or so, that will help us to be not so quite as hard on ourselves.

-Yeah it is possible my own mindset contributes some to this, but not fully...I mean to a point yes I can miss what might be positive things and focus more on negatives since I have depression. But the stigma as far as I can tell really does exist and it does disturb me. I don't really wonder what I did to deserve it, I mean there was nothing I did crap happens though.

Also I would love to not feel guilt, but when I already kind of look down on myself and hear that sort of stigma around...seems kind of hard not to even though I know its not wrong of me to apply to SSI or whatever else. So as much as I'd like to just not feel that way I am not sure how to go about that.

But yeah hopefully when it comes from the politicians it's just rehtoric, but politicians are in the government and the government is kind of in charge of running things so I guess it's hard not to get a little concerned that it would become more than rhetoric.

I have a hard time with it too Hellion. I have not told many people i'm on disability for depression. Only my bf knows and my therapist and staff there and my doctors. I recently shared with my uncle that i was on disability but i didn't tell him why and i told him not to tell anyone. If anyone would ask i would probably say it was due to my crohns disease. I am embarrassed and ashamed and i guess its because of my own negative feelings but its also because of the way society makes those of us who need help feel like scum of the earth. It makes me mad. And to make things worse people in my own family have issues about it too. I don't know why because we were not rich and at times my mom received food stamps and sometimes we got food baskets around the holidays and my mom shopped at the goodwill store. But my siblings and some of my cousins and even some friends act like its a sin to accept help. Mostly i think they have a problem with young people who have child after child and don't work. But i'm sure they would have a problem if i told them i was on disability for depression. When i try to explain to people why i withdraw because of depression or why i don't get things done i've heard well i went through this and that and i had to still go to work and clean my house and yada yada. Or i have even had people say they are depressed too and even take meds for it but they still have to work they don't have a choice. I don't even talk about my depression with anyone anymore. I don't talk about my physical health issues either because they have this holier that thou attitude about everything. If they can do it so should you is thier attitude. Some politicians have that same attitude. And they have now started complaining more about people on disability for depression. I read a comment in the newspaper from someone who said people are able to go to the doctor and say they are depressed and then get on disability and collect a check. You don't even have to have "a physical illness" anymore. Anyone can pretend to be depressed they wrote. And i feel like even at the doctors offices the staff looks at me like why do you have this medicare card. I guess i look young and healthy and they don't get it. I have even had people downright rude to me and at the pharmacies too and i couldn't understand it until i started thinking to myself i bet its the insurance. They see i am on disability and they think i shouldn't be. Maybe i'm being paranoid but i swear they look at me like they are trying to figure something out and i get an attitude. One nurse looked at my chart and rolled his eyes and once when i was having a colonoscopy and i wasn't quite under yet i heard someone say, shes on disability but i don't know why. So i feel like even the medical community makes you feel bad about yourself too. My therapist said i shouldn't let what people think bother me but its hard not to. I never thought i would be in this predicament. I can't even believe the way my life has turned out and i am not thrilled to be on disability i would rather be able to work and have more money to have things that i need like a car and a decent place to live and i certainly don't want to have depression. They wouldn't want my life i guarantee that. So I hear you and i understand how you feel and i unfortunately don't know what the answer is though. So hang in there.

I forgot to mention that when i had to go to the free clinic they do treat you like you are not worthy of decent treatment. They make you wait all day to see the doctor and they are rude. Not all of them but the majority. Plus they talk to you like your stupid or like you are beneath them. I have had to write several letters to the heads of hospitals and organizations about being treated disrespectully. I do get very insulted when i know that i'm being treated wrong and when there is absolutely no reason for it and i will complain. People need to know they cannot treat us like we are less than just because we are getting help. Like someone said, it may just be them needing the help one day or someone they love.

I try to remember that people who treat others disrespectfully do because they treat themselves disrespectfully and/or don't like their job, etc. It does not have anything to do with me, what other people do.

If you're at a store and get a surly clerk you think, "what's their problem?" Why not at a huge government agency (think MVA :-) where they do get more than their share of people who do not comply or may otherwise be a problem and the system itself is not great to work with either, is mind-numbing for everyone including the workers.

When a person is struggling mentally, physically, and financially it is easy to feel like a burden.
I feel like this alot. Coming to pc does give me a sense that a, I am not alone. b, Maybe my story/companionship/advice may benefite another.
I remind myself, I am worthy of equality, I deserve to be treated with respect and decency.
I/Everyone should have the same health coverages that our elected politicians have.
Instead of goverment cutting benefits to low income people. People in goverment need to have their salaries trimed, their health benefits reduced and their tenure denied along with evaluations by we the people to see if they keep their jobs!

I try not to worry about what other people think. Right now I am going through physical & emotional struggles(back pain plus depression, dysthymia & anxiety) I try to hold onto the fact that I am doing the best I can.

I'm sorry you had to hear that, it's such a disgusting attitude I don't understand how people can be so lacking in empathy.

Sorry, I get and have heard the same thing as well (and I'm also on gov. assistance) so I don't really have anything constructive to say, but I feel you.