[falling star]

This may not be my place to feel angry at all, but it is. My mother passed a few years ago, leaving my father $300,000.00. He gave my sister and I $1,000.00 each. Which i should be surprised he was willing to do that. After she died I used a credit card, and in greif spent a lot of money. Now I am paying that back. I also am still paying college loans. Im so frustrated with my dad that he didn't help us at all with any of our debt. I just get so mad about it all the time. Now he is debt free living very easy right now. Im not saying I deserve it, but I just get angry about it. I know there is nothing I can do about it. I try not to be angry, but to know he could have helped us out and mom would have wanted him to makes me angry.

[falling star]

Im done.

[shortandcute]

Well, I don't expect my parents to help me out of my debt--I got myself into that, my dad didn't.

[Perna]

We feel what we feel. It is not right or wrong. Our feelings are supposed to help us get what we need.

It does not sound like you have talked to your father about your difficulties? I wonder how you know how much he received and what his financial situation is and suspect you believe he knows your struggles, even though you may not have shared them with him?

Have you asked him for money to help you out? I learned an enormous amount from my husband's odd-to-me attitude; he never offers to help anyone because he feels that is condescending, to assume someone wants/needs your help when they have not expressed that want/need. Many people have shortandcute's attitude of wanting to do everything themselves.

It is not wrong to want monetary help from one's parents but assuming one knows their circumstances and expenses, etc. and not asking for help, assuming they should just automatically give it, can only make you feel resentful and angry? Who are you hurting by that? Just yourself?

Share your problems with your father and ask him how he is doing instead of looking at the outward show he may have put up. $300,000 is not that much money these days, a house can easily cost that much but you have to eat for several hundred a month too for the next 30 or more years? Your father too may have gone out and bought things in his grief too, that he really couldn't afford. Talk to your father, talk to your sister, learn about who they are and support them and that might help your anger and, if you find he can afford it, asking for a bit of money to make your current situation not quite so difficult might help too.