[ThisWayOut]

I have an assessment in less than an hour with a psychiatrist as a follow-up for my disability claim... I feel like I'm in an ok space at the moment, and may come off looking too together and not needing this... I know I go through spurts of being totally non-functioning and go to the hospital like I'm stuck in their revolving door. But at this very moment, I present as together and "well". I don't intend to lie to lie to him about anything. I'm worries he will think I'm ok and write up the assessment as such. And I'm worried if he asks about my current thinking, and I'm honest about that, he will hospitalize me for it (most docs don't take well to hearing that a patient is constantly suicidal. they miss that it's a daily battle with me, and I am not currently planning on acting on the thoughts...). agh! anxiety is kicking into high gear :/

[Perna]

You back yet? How'd it go? I hope it wasn't too scary or disappointing feeling.

[ThisWayOut]

hmm, my response floated off into the internet neither-world.
It went ok. It just re-established history once again, and not much about current functioning. It's a small world, the clinician doing the interview works part-time at the same office I see my therapist.
I won't be able to get any glimpse of the report for at least 2 weeks, and they won't make their decision until after then. I don't know if I have the energy to fight a "no" decision... I may be just better off struggling away.

[Perna]

I think it is good that the clinician probably knows your therapist; that could work in your favor unofficially (if he "likes" your therapist :-)

I'd look into a disability lawyer if you get a "no" now; lots of them like to wait until after the "bulk" of work has been done before they get involved. They would be able to look through it all and see what they deem your chances based on their wider experience/other cases they've had similar to yours and it won't cost you anything unless/until you get a "yes".

[ThisWayOut]

she had suggested a disability lawyer also if I get a "no". I just get sketchy about needing it. On good days, I can function well and do pretty good at life. On bad days, I don;t have the motivation or drive to to anything to help myself... Maybe I can convince my wife to help keep me on track. I hate this process.