anxiety about failing at life

i need some advice/ support since i cant get it anywhere else. i am 25 and just recently moved out of my parents house and into my first apartment by myself. this should be a happy turning point in my life but i have felt a huge surge in my anxiety becasue of it.
let me explain, before moving out i live with my dad and stepmother. my stepmother was nonstop emotionally abusive to me ever since my dad married her when i was 6. about the last three months she was non stop barading me that basically im worthless and to get out of the house. so i found my apartment and left. i also have a bf whom has been non stop complaining at me to move out of their house becasue it affects my mood and how i act towards him. which it did.

so now we come to the point where i have moved out and have my own place and i should feel happy and more relaxed and enjoy life...not the case.

the second i left my family is non stop wondering what im doing when im coming back and why i left when they just wanted my help paying bills. i tell my dad all the " well if your wife wasn't such a ***** and was nice things would be different" ( he didn't want me to leave him and my stepmom are in denial and need to be divorced becasue neither of them are happy. on top of that my bf whom was pushing me the most to move has now began questioning my finaical situation, and basically making me feel like i can't afford my apartment, whihc isn't true, yes i would have t cut back on going out as much as we do but i still factored that in. he chose not to live with me becasue at the momment hes living with his alcohlic father and doesnt want to leave him alone....its all stressing me to the point im having major anxiety...its like no matter what i do im getting preched at in a way that everyone around is expecting me to fail and be worthless all my life. so i feel like a huge failure when its the complete oppisite and i should bee happy that i can make these changes for myself... by myself ...so then why am i depressed and have anxiety and can't be happy about these things?

any advice/ support/ high fives would be great, because im def not getting by the people whom surround me

It's time to grow up. Pay the bills do what you need to do. Your father needs to make his own decisions. I moved out at 17 and did just fine working hard.

You can make it on your own.
Its very hard to imagine doing it the first time.
But, with a stable job or income, you can make it..
Just budget for bills, food and entertainment, car(gas)..
Prioritize what's important ... Bills, rent...
You have to psych yourself up and think positive about yourself.
Don't worry about your step mom or anyone else negative in your life.
Enjoy your first place and the peace that comes with it.

thank you very much for your replies

Take the words, should and shouldn't out of your vocabulary. you feel how you feel. Perhaps consider some counseling.

Just hang in there, everything will turn out right in the end.

Well done for moving out.
A new start! You should feel v proud of yourself.
Don't be blackmailed into feeling guilty, you have done the right thing.
Have you talked to your doctor about your anxiety?

i have once before and they perscribed me something but it ended up making my anxiety worse and i couldn't sleep so i stopped taking it and since then i haven't brought it up to my doctor, i rarely go anymore just when im sick and always forget to say anything about it