Cannot Manage Money!

So, I've always had problems spending money, but it's never been a real issue in the past. I moved out of my parents' house last summer, and I'm starting to feel like it was the worst decision ever.

I figured out my bills before I moved out. I think I came up with having $500-600 left each month after bills. Well, for a while that money went fast to needing groceries and other essentials I hadn't thought of. For a while I was hoping for checks to not clear until payday, and just scraping by. I'd start to get to a point where I was ok and could save a little, then I'd decide I "deserved" to buy something frivolous for myself, or my bf would borrow money, or we'd decide to go out and end up spending more than planned. I just kept trying to start over with a savings.

Then I started getting bills for medical stuff. Stupidly I was too anxious to bother calling the hospital to set up a payment plan, and I just sent them what I could each week. Then my federal student loans came out of deferment, and the amount I owe doesn't have a payment plan that asks me for less than $260 a month. I'm starting to find myself just scraping by again. Every few weeks I end up spending over $100 on groceries, because the store is a huge trigger for my anxiety so I tend to avoid going until I have no food. My medical bills have been sent to a collection agency, I just learned, and I don't know what's going to happen with that. I don't know if they expect everything at once, or if I can make payments.

I really want to start putting money away just in case of emergency, but I keep ending up with barely anything left each payday, and I don't know how to get ahead. I'm kind of thinking about taking out a small loan, maybe $3,000, to pay off my medical bills and some of next month's regular bills. That should leave me with an extra few hundred dollars out of my next paycheck or two that can be put away. But then I worry about taking out a loan. I just can't think of any other way to make things work until my bf and I move in together. Then at least I won't be paying all the bills, and I'll have a little more money to save.

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