Cannot Manage Money!

So, I've always had problems spending money, but it's never been a real issue in the past. I moved out of my parents' house last summer, and I'm starting to feel like it was the worst decision ever.

I figured out my bills before I moved out. I think I came up with having $500-600 left each month after bills. Well, for a while that money went fast to needing groceries and other essentials I hadn't thought of. For a while I was hoping for checks to not clear until payday, and just scraping by. I'd start to get to a point where I was ok and could save a little, then I'd decide I "deserved" to buy something frivolous for myself, or my bf would borrow money, or we'd decide to go out and end up spending more than planned. I just kept trying to start over with a savings.

Then I started getting bills for medical stuff. Stupidly I was too anxious to bother calling the hospital to set up a payment plan, and I just sent them what I could each week. Then my federal student loans came out of deferment, and the amount I owe doesn't have a payment plan that asks me for less than $260 a month. I'm starting to find myself just scraping by again. Every few weeks I end up spending over $100 on groceries, because the store is a huge trigger for my anxiety so I tend to avoid going until I have no food. My medical bills have been sent to a collection agency, I just learned, and I don't know what's going to happen with that. I don't know if they expect everything at once, or if I can make payments.

I really want to start putting money away just in case of emergency, but I keep ending up with barely anything left each payday, and I don't know how to get ahead. I'm kind of thinking about taking out a small loan, maybe $3,000, to pay off my medical bills and some of next month's regular bills. That should leave me with an extra few hundred dollars out of my next paycheck or two that can be put away. But then I worry about taking out a loan. I just can't think of any other way to make things work until my bf and I move in together. Then at least I won't be paying all the bills, and I'll have a little more money to save.

Sent from my SM-G900R4 using Tapatalk

Hello PsychNitrous: I'm sorry you are in such dire financial straits. There was an article in our local newspaper recently about a survey that was done. People (in the U.S.) were asked if they had an unexpected $500 expense, could they come up with the money to cover it. A large percentage responded that they could not. So, sadly, you are not alone. It is a sad commentary on the state of the economy in the U.S. ... maybe not so different in a lot of other countries as well...

1) Pay yourself first (don't pay your bills chronologically and see what's remaining in the last week of each month).

2) Do NOT take out a small loan. That will increase your debt, and the interest rate will be high. It's also a hard credit pull, so your credit worthiness will decrease.

Maybe when the collections call you could say something like "I have this amount could we settle on that because I don't have anymore" I have heard of people doing something like that on the Clark Howard and Dave Ramsey show. Maybe that's a start maybe not.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Seconded. You will be sorry. Maybe for a long time.

Yes, the old saying is you can't get blood from a turnip? They would rather have what you can pay than get nothing at all.
Finally.. I don't think I'd count on moving in w/ bf as a bailout. If he borrows money now he will borrow money then.

I'm not sure what I said that would lead to the conclusion that bf is borrowing money. I'm the one having problems, not him. Moving in together would be a huge help, since we'll be splitting the bills.

Sent from my SM-G900R4 using Tapatalk

You said in your initial post "or my bf would borrow money".

I agree with the others to not take out a loan to pay off medical bills. My uncle and his wife both had surgeries for cancer and neither of them had insurance and they got a loan that they will never be able to pay off. I have several thousand dollars in debt for hospital bills and the hospital agreed to accept $25/month and interest will not accumulate on the bill as it would with a loan.

Is there a food bank near you that you could go once a month to get free food? Also planning a menu helps save food costs.

Here is a PDF of low cost recipes https://8b862ca0073972f0472b704e2c0c...-and-cheap.pdf

You can find other inexpensive menus on the internet and there is at least one thread about this on psychcentral.

edit to add: you might find this site helpful to modify your student loan payment - https://studentaid.ed.gov/sa/repay-l...derstand/plans

Thanks, I forgot I'd said that. I did mean borrowing from me, which doesn't happen often. I know that my money problems are my own, not caused by him or anyone else.

Thanks for the links. I've been trying to find low-priced food or stuff in bulk, especially since I get anxious about going to the store anyway.

Sent from my SM-G900R4 using Tapatalk

You could also read fliers and check out your area for smaller grocery stores. Food items go on sale regularly once know the cycle try to buy them then. Around here peanutbutter goes on sale every couple of months so I try to buy enough to get me to the next sale. Toilet paper always seems to be on sale but if it is a loss leader (store losses money on it but gets you in the door) if you have the money buy the limit. If you have storage issues it can be stored under a bed it's not like it will go bad. Also some stores will match other store sales so you don't have to chase sales around town. You will be surprised on how well you can eat on even when most of your food was on sale. Also if you are cooking something like spaghetti sauce cook extra and freeze it. Most things freeze well and there are very cheap reusable containers that make it easy. If it's something you like and your already dirtying a pot makes no never mind to clean up if it is 1 batch or more.

If you have time issues then a slow cooker can help. Home cooked tastes way better than ready made and is cheaper. Oh and as a bounce cheap cuts of meat taste better if they are cooked slowly with liquid. Lots of recipes on line now.

Most everyone starts out feeling like they are always behind. You just have to change how you look at things. Budgeting isn't hard it just takes a bit of thought. And your budget will never look like anyone else's cause you budget for what is important to you. I always have books in my budget and coffee but that is me. Everything else is subject to change.

I've always had a hard time managing money.

Have you spoken with the hospital about the possibility of them writing off your bill as charity care? In the past, any hospital that received public funds was required to provide a certain amount of free or low-cost care to financially needy patients. Call the billing office to see if you might be eligible. Or check their website.

A credit counseling service may be able to help you negotiate with your creditors. My knowledge of them is over a decade old, so may not still be correct. What they did in the past was try to get the creditors to write off some of the bill and negotiate a payment plan. If the creditors approved this, a small portion of every payment made was given to the credit counseling agency. That was their payment. Both pediatric clinics I worked for accepted this because, as GeorgeH said, they would rather have some money than none. And just to be clear, credit counseling agencies are not credit card or loan companies. Sometimes the wording can be confusing.

I, too, have a very difficult time managing money. It's scary.

I've never heard of charity care, that might be something to look into. I'm not sure if it would apply in my case, the bills I get are after insurance pays their part. But I will definitely keep it in mind for the future.

I have been considering a credit counseling service. I keep thinking that I can fix it on my own, but I might have to ask for help. I haven't looked up any in my area yet, but it's definitely an option.

Sometimes they'll write off what insurance doesn't pay. It can be tricky, depending on your insurance.

I would not take out a loan. A loan has interest charges of its own whereas medical bills do not (some doctor's offices charge late fees but calling and talking to then and setting up a payment plan can take care of that). A loan would just add another layer of debt. I would learn to tolerate a bit of debt; getting ahead is hard for everyone. I don't know anyone who does not owe money of one kind or another. I think once you have learned to live pretty much "even" then you can practice cutting back here and there a bit and savings some but first you have to make sure you have no bills that require interest charges. What you would "make" saving money is less than what you would owe with interest charges so you would actually get further behind, not ahead, and any savings would only be an illusion.

The US Department of Education has income-driven repayment plans. You have to specifically apply for them if you haven't yet, please do. It doesn't matter who holds the loans, as long as they are certain types, you go through this site to apply.https://studentaid.ed.gov/sa/repay-loans/understand/plans/income-driven

There are also economic hardship deferments that you might qualify for if that fails.

If you get a loan to pay off the medical debt, do not under any circumstances use payday loans. Get a real loan from a real bank if you can. Payday loans can charge several hundred percent annually so if you can't pay it off fast, you can fall into a deep pit fast. If penalties are being added to your debt each month a real loan will likely cost less so it could be a good route to get clear of it.

Once a debt goes into collections, assuming a third-party collector, it is difficult to move it back to the original debt owner. If the collector is the hospital collections office many of them have programs where you can pay little or none at all.

MDD with Psychotic Features, Dysthymia, GAD, Cluster C personality traits - Not taking any meds

I was able to get changed to an income based repayment plan, which has helped a lot. I had to fight some to get the application approved, but it's done.

I would've looked into a loan from my bank. I've been warned away from payday loans for as long as I can remember.

You might be able to get forgiveness on your loan if you can prove you have a disability. I wouldn't get a loan because loans have to be paid back also. If you talk to the hospital maybe you can come up with a payment plan. I don't think as long as you pay them something every month they can legally send you to collections but don't quote me on that.

I am not too good at budgeting either but I always make sure I pay my bills first. Also if you have dollar trees in your area they have some pretty good food stuff and cleaning supplies.