Benefits/welfare problems.

That's terrible. I'm so sorry you had to go though that.

Thanks for your support Nammu.I am starting to recover from the ordeal of the f2f assessment today.I think the worst thing was the assessor seemed to me to be a bit of a sociopath.She was nasty pretending to be nice and made out I would get an award but I think she will do all she can to fail me.Why I think that is because when she found out that I owned my house without a mortgage she looked at me with sheer hatred for a few seconds,went wheww right and had this look on her her face like she was saying right I am going to get you failed now.She also seemed dead jealous,so I think she will bring her personal feeling in to it and try to fail me.

If they fail me I will lose £300 a month and on top of that £62 a week off other benefits which is my severe disablement premium.I won't have enough for food and bills let alone to pay off my debts which are substantial.I will go to Mandatory Reconsideration and if that fails go to tribunal,before the court and a judges panel.I have to stop worrying and get strong physically and mentally so that I can take them on.I get so afraid is all and the worry ,anxiety combined with physical illness and mental anguish make me so exhausted and unable to go on at times,I fear they will cause me another psychosis in the end cause the stress and worry is too much to bear.

Even if they give me an award it might only be for three years and they will review it and make me go through the form filling and another assessment,it is cruel to make a mentally ill disabled person have to prove they can't work and look after ourselves over and over again and threaten to stop their money.We are being treated like liars and criminals wanting to cheat the system,it is fascistic the way the system treats us,it isn't a benefits system it is a punitive regime they are putting us through.

I am sorry to whine and complain,it is so hard,it helps to have this forum to rant on and get the pain out and write it down so I am not focusing and dwelling with the pain and anxiety alone.

Glad that you are starting to recover now. I am sorry that it was a hard situation. It's good that it's done with for now.

Fingers crossed that the outcome will still be a good one.

Going to start looking for advice on Mandatory Reconsideration and appeals online.
I need to stay strong...I am going to stop worrying,getting upset and angry cos that just wears me down and drains me of energy.Just get ready to go through fighting them if they take my money away.I am not alone lots of people are being persecuted with this.
I can fight it and win..so keep hopeful.Like you say Possum fingers crossed that the outcome is still a good one!

I heard from the benefits people for PIP on tuesday that they have received the assessor's report for my f2f assessment and I requested they send me a copy.It will give me some idea whether I got enough points to qualify for PIP.I am extremely anxious and could have another four weeks to wait for the actual decision.My anxiety is so high about this.I am all alone and have no support my family don't care or understand what I am going through it is not them will have to go without...they are narcissists anyway so won't give a ****.

I keep trying to keep calm but the fear is through the roof.I am feeling 100% certain they are going to try and stop my benefit and I will have to go to court,I am very very scared.I am sorry you have all supported me and helped me to not worry but here I am scared and worried again.I can't help it it goes out of my control,tonight especially I have a great deal of fear and anxiety.I just need to know what they will do the waiting is killing me.

Marylin,
I truly get how w worried you are but worrying won't help you get benefits. Try hard to know there is nothing more you can do right now. Worrying just zaps your energy and you may be worrying over nothing. You could be successful and you will have wasted this time worrying over nothing. Please be kind to your mind. I know what it is like when overdrive hits. Try to d o things that involve using your senses. It w ill help break the thought process if only for 30 seconds at a time. You can handle this!!

It's a wise thing to get a copy of the assessment. That will give you understanding of why they made the decision. Maybe if you could show it to your p'doc/therapist and get them to write your actual capacity.

Deejay has some very good points.

Being proactive helps us to take some control back. When you find yourself being overwhelmed try to check back in with the actual facts. 1. Facts are they did deny your initial claim. 2. You are going to check what the assessment said. 3. You are going to get another opinion from your care providers. 4. Ask for something in writing from your care providers. 5. Nothing has been finalized yet. 6. Until it is then there is still hope.

The whole process is very stressful. No denying that. Try and distract yourself when you find yourself worrying. Cleaning is something to channel your energies into. Plus that is positive and you can feel better about your space. Watching movies or reading a book. What else do you like to do? Make a list of what you like to do and do at least one thing per day

Hang in there.

I got a copy of the assessors report,she is basically calling me a liar,she has given me 6 points for daily living I need 8 for the lowest rate of PIP and she has only scored me 4 for mobility again need 8 for lowest rates,which I was on before they started this process.So now they won't award me if they go with the assessors report.whereas taking all my difficulties truthfully into account I should be getting enhanced rates on both.They will basically be saying with three chronic physical illnesses and limited mobility and two mental illnesses that I am no longer disabled and they will stop my monthly payments and I will also lose £62 a week of my ESA which is a disability premium.I won't survive on that I am currently paying off debts as well,I will go under.I am in shock.I am scared and worried last time I didn't have enough to live on I went into psychosis.

I am going to check out that MIND link someone posted earlier on in this thread to see if they can help me fight this.My heart has sunk I am feeling paranoid and I am very anxious and worried.

Thanks for taking the time to support me.I tend to sink to the depths when things aren't going my way in life,I am in shock tonight but your advice is good.Just because they are halving my monthly income doesn't mean I should let everything around me go to pot and neglect myself and my home and become even more ill.I can fight to get back what I am entitled to and look around see if any people can help.I will get in touch with MIND and email my MP see if he can help...I feel like crying but that is no reason to give up.If anything I know that if they don't award me that that isn't a fair decision so I will have to fight the injustice of that.

I had a mini breakdown today,crying,rang crisis line I felt suicidal and that I didn't have the energy or strength to go on.A bloke on the other end of the phone calmed me down,He said wait for the decision and challenge it meanwhile you are still getting paid so you can appeal if need be don't worry so much.My mum said she will support me and won't let me go hungry or not pay my bills,so I am going to try and keep positive.I am emotionally shook up and drained so need to rest today ,it's saturday, write my letter of complain over the next few days and send it on wednesday.

I had a couple of hours nap.Getting something together for dinner,I will eat then work on my letter to the Assessment services,(ATOS).Gonna find myself some peace.I also emailed my MP for help.I am feeling calmer and not so scared. Surprisingly my narcissist sister who abused me for years has been supportive,I don't mix with her or see her in real life anymore as she almost literally killed me but we talk about mum's care via text and she text to support me over this benefits worry.She is unpredictable can be nice but turns nasty,I think when it comes to me she don't like others to abuse me that's her job.It is all confusing cos I am meant to be no contact with her but she did offer words of support and said she wants to help she can't be let in too far she is not to be trusted but she did give me a link to an electric company that does cheaper electric.

I am still shook up emotionally,even if I win my benefits back they can give it for only a year or two so I will have to have continual assessments and it is scary though I asked the MP to intervene and get me a 10 year award whether that will happen I don't know.I have got to go through the assessors report and point out all the inaccuracies and write them up into a letter of complaint.

I have a lot of fear now whereas I was sorting out therapy the CBT counseller was assessing me to see if CBT was suitable or if another therapy was appropriate and I was going to weight management class.I won't be able to afford it so much now,travel expenses mount up I go everywhere by taxi and can't walk anywhere or use the buses so her lying about my mobility is a massive blow.

I am getting over the shock that I might have my yearly income halved and will start looking for ways to cut my outgoings....I am going to have to adjust cos it could take up to 18 months to get a tribunal date if I have to appeal.I wrote my letter to Atos on Sunday and went and typed and printed it at the internet cafe today.I will send it tomorrow.The wait for a reply and wait for the DWP to send me a decision.I hope with the other evidence they have to consider they may override the assessor's report and give me an award anyway....we will see.I will do MR if they don't give me the same money that I get now anyway.

Today was exhausting I was at internet cafe sorting the letter five hours....I got home 9.30pm cos I saw a film upstairs at cineworld,Avengers Infinity,the end was disappointing,the superheros lost and died and the bad guy won.So I felt horrible evil won in the end...I guess the lesson of the film is that sometimes the bad guys win!How disappointing though,eh?

I got overtired today so now I am restless and can't go to sleep and it is 1am and I have to go collect my benefit money tomorrow and put money into the bank for the bills to get paid.I hope to hear from you all and how you are doing,feel free to let me know how you are those who have been supporting me Possum,Deejay, Nammu, Hvert, Shazarac, Skeezy,how are you doing,post her or send me a message,especially if you need support yourselves I'd like to help.

It has been lovely having you guys for support.I think I am over the worst of the shock and worry and you have all been a great help.Thanks I will keep you updated how the benefits system pans out for me personally.

I am pleased that you could take time out to see a film and give yourself a diversion. The people who made the movie made evil win so they can have a reason to make a sequel where the goodies win.

Keep up the good proactive work.

A day at a time. You can get through this!

That is good to hear that they made evil win so the good guys can win in the sequel!I look forward to the sequel possum!

Hi guys lovely friends!Today was exhausting again but got done what I needed to.I was worried but thankfully my benefit money was paid they haven't stopped any of it yet.I collected it and paid it into the bank.I had a coffee at coffee shop and a sandwich.Then I got exhausted walking through a massive department store to order a remote control,cos mine stopped working and I can't turn on the telly.Got them to order me one and have it deliverd.Got a taxi home.

I feel more hopeful and positive I joined a disability support group that advocates for disabled people to help them keep and get back their benefits.It is £12 a month but worth it cos they will help me and they help people with no money at all for free.It is called Fightback4Justice and is here in the UK,they help with MR and appeals.They gave me some facts that gave me hope and I feel more confident that even if they stop my money I can win it back!

Tonight I have been resting but I can't get over this feeling of being physically exhausted!
And I haven't been able to watch TV for about 4 days.I also have a therapy session tomorrow,am visiting my mum,have to go to the doctors and fill in a form to access my medical records and get back in time for 4pm when my food shop is going to be delivered!So that will exhaust me more.Oh Well ,live in the moment that's tomorrow,rest now,eh?

We has some slight sunshine in south UK today but it turned chilly and windy towards the mid to late afternoon.I saw a homeless lad on a mattress and covered in blankets with his sweet little dog outside the department store in a quiet spot,he looked exhausted poor lad and tired,I know how he felt cos when in psychosis I was outside for 5 days and nights....it is unbearable,I spoke to him asking him how he really felt,he said he is ok bearing up,I felt powerless to help and guilty cos I am complaining and can survive I have a roof over my head but what can he do to get out of his situation?It is sad and a disgrace that the government does nothing to help.

I sent notes for my MR and a copy of the Atos letter to Fightback4justice their legal adviser is going to let them over and help me by giving them the legal look over and she will get back to me on what is the best way to contest the decision if it is to stop my award.I am feeling stronger to fight and more positive and hopeful.

That sounds like a good organization, glad you found it.

Yeah me too Nammu!It has given me hope and I am feeling stronger and more positive.

I am pleased to hear that you have legal support and that you have some-one in real life as a go to.