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elflauta
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Member Since Oct 2017
Location: Odessa, Tx
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Default Mar 15, 2018 at 09:55 PM
  #1
I've been living on SSDI since 2000, after my last suicide attempt. I was hospitalized twice that year but had more attempts that were not reported. Ever since then I have been a caregiver for my grandmother, uncle and mom. Everyone has passed and I'm alone. Well, in my area the oilfield is booming with everyone making $80k and more a year while I struggle to live on my government check. But now I'm almost 58 years old and an introvert. So with my issues I don't see how I could ever try to work again and risk losing my SSDI and Medicare. It's a dilemma and is constantly on my mind. Just feel so worthless with no future and beginning to question why I'm here. I have no clue or desire to do anything anymore.
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cool09
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Default Mar 16, 2018 at 08:09 AM
  #2
I'm on SSDI. I haven't reached the point where I can work yet. I have a lot of free time which is difficult and I'm socially isolated.

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elflauta
elflauta
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Default Mar 16, 2018 at 11:15 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by cool09 View Post
I'm on SSDI. I haven't reached the point where I can work yet. I have a lot of free time which is difficult and I'm socially isolated.
I understand completely. All the things that I used to do seem to not matter anymore. Do you feel that way?
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Default Mar 17, 2018 at 11:37 AM
  #4
I am on SSI and SSD, since 1986. I am considered disabled for life. I am alone in the daytime but my son is home alot with me too, as he has some mental issues and is trying to get on SSD too. I took up flute lessons recently, but am finding it difficult. my teacher is very understanding and my husband drives to work and take us to our doctor appointments and such. It IS lonely and I'm afraid of alot of things that go on in my head in the daytime as i am schitzophrenic and GAD, among other disorders.This makes me socially isolated too. We live in a small Bay are near the beach, but because i cant walk too far, i can't even go there. I do like to sit in my yard and plan on practicing flute outside in the summer. We have fires in our firepit outdoors.
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