Managing money

I think I need help with managing money. Working part time while on disability I make slightly more than I did working full time. But financially I'm tight. When I look at my budget I'm generally ok. I count groceries, gas, medical, mom, brother, rent, personal, credit cards, misc., insurance. I got the budget planner from a budgetting website. I pay my bills on time. I according to my budget can save.

I'm debating about getting a finance guy. Someone who pays my bills for me and gives me a stupund each week. It would ease my stress level. There's a small fee for that service through my county. I'm good at budgeting yet it stresses me. I fear releasing control of my money but at the same time think it would be very beneficial.

Thoughts?

If you haven't already, you could set up a meeting with this guy and see how it feels/if you are comfortable with him. If so, you could take it a little further like do a trial period of three months or so and then reassess. I have an olderish friend who is a widow and uses a service like that, started after her husband died, and loves it.

If my husband didn't do the financial stuff I would consider doing the same. Finance is something I don't enjoy dealing with.

I contacted my case manager about it.

I don't think getting someone else to manage your money would actually reduce your stress. Living on a small income is challenging, as I know first hand. What greatly magnifies the problem is using credit to live beyond your means. I've been there, done that - repeatedly. Writing out a budget can sometimes be part of how we delude ourselves. I now live within my means, and I don't consult a written budget, and I don't feel particularly stressed.

If you have a credit card, consider cutting it up. Credit is addicting. I hope you are not telling yourself that you need to use plastic in order to build up your credit rating. That kind of thinking is part of the disease of credit addiction. Any fee you would pay to a money manager is not "small." It is just another drain on your income. You can't afford that fee. Self-discipline is hard. I don't have a ton of it either. But you can learn to exercise it by first giving up fantasies. Living in reality is the foundation of financial self-discipline. I know escapism when I see it because I've engaged in that myself. That's what you are doing with this idea of a financial manager. You are trying to evade coming to grips with the fact that you only have so much money, and you have to give up lusting for what you can't afford. Wanting is not needing. You have the two mixed up together.

I haven't explained this well at all. But I do feel for you. I've been through all kinds of financial woe. No financial guru is going to straighten your life out for you. You are intelligent enough to manage your own money. What's been defeating you is running from reality, by looking for a "fix."

Well my therapist thinks it's a good idea for me. I get az reduced rate through insurance or the country or something.

You can sure give it a try.

Hardship arrangements are possible

I completely agree. The best position you can put yourself in, regarding your finances, is to be in full control of them.

Professional financial advice is very often delivered in platitudes, without any context or application to your *real world issues*, and certain (rarely) takes into consideration any complications arising from mental health.

*Strongly disagree here*. Cutting up credit cards is very common advice, as it comes from the point of "you're accruing interest on your purchases, and the bank is...well...laughing all the way to the bank."

That's the perfect world scenario.

In the real world, emergencies happen (eg. unexpected medical bills). A credit card with some balance remaining is the flexibility you need to get out of a dire situation. Of course it will take incredible amounts of discipline over the long haul...

...but when we're talking about making a payment to keep the lights on while working on a longer-term solution...a cut up credit card helps nothing.

If you feel it's necessary, I suppose you could give it a try.

I don't agree with cutting up credit cards. They have built up my credit and I use them wisely. That one persons advice goes against everything my parents taught. Budgets work if you follow them. And even include unexpected expenses in misc. Or personal. I found a very detailed budget online through a money planning website. My problem is splurge spending. Not planned splurges, like buying too many lottery tickets. My therapist thinks the financial worker would offer a layer of protection from scams and splurges. I still don't know if I like the idea.

Can you dig into your feelings on this a little more?

- What part of the idea rubs you the wrong way?
- What do you think would be a better alternative to help you protect you from scams or splurges?

I decided against it. I like being in control I found out once started its really hard to stop. Probably have to go to court. My case manager doesn't think i really need it.

Good for you! Do you still have a few guardrails in place that you yourself have control over?

Well, Aviza, it seems to me like you are approaching this with your head on straight and your eyes open. I am in favor of you meeting with the finance guy. Meet with him and see if you like him or not. He might be full of all sorts of great ideas to help you manage your money successfully.

Remember, honey, this is your decision to make. Like I said, it seems to me like you are going through this carefully, getting feedback, and thinking as you go. You are there, this is your income you earn and you see your life from the inside. I think you'll do great at it!! xoxox