Payee stress, what are other options

Okay my husband does get SSDI for his Aspergers Syndrome and he works part time. My father in law was the payee but he and my mother got this crackpot idea I should do it
We have tried explaining to them that my husband and I thought this was not a good decision. It fell on deaf ears. I feel that being the payee is extremely stressful as I am paying all the bills now and trying to not break the bank, especially since we bought a new home and have to pay a mortgage (fun fun fun). My husband thinks having someone watch his money is stupid and he does manage his paycheck (I don't know how he and his dad worked it out). Also we have a joint bank account and since he is very responsible he has access to it with his own card. If I thought he was "incompetent" with finances I would not give him access to my own money. I don't know if he really uses his SSDI....however the idea was schemes because they think we will lose the house......okay the mortgage was more than we thought but we are planning on switching home insurance as our broker said we could. That and I am trying to be more careful (its a work in progress). Anyhow I really don't feel comfortable with the idea of being a payee. It's just too much and my anxiety about it is horrible . I explained this to my husband and he does see where there are problems ( I have paperwork to fill out, I was told I could use his money to pay our bills but I'm getting conflicting info). We are thinking of looking into a payee service or getting my husband re evaluated for an SSA 11. He keeps track but he can't do full time work as it is mentally exhausting for him but I worry that he would lose his benefits. Sorry for the rant or ramble but we really want to pursue other options. Pa

((((Foo Fighter)))) I'm sorry you're struggling. Can you look for any sort of assistance? Does the bank offer any help? I think looking for a payee service is a good idea. I wish you good luck

Thanks. There might be a service but I'm not sure if it requires him to have a caseworker or not. I did tell him I think it would not hurt to have him reevaluated.