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Stuck1nhead
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Member Since: Aug 2016
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Default Apr 19, 2021 at 02:54 AM
  #1
Hey y’all,

It’s been a long time. Lately I’ve been trying to come to terms with my version of success. My whole life I’ve been judging myself by my mothers version of success. Meaning being having the finances to buy a house or two, get a new car, go on vacations, and drive a new car. All while being able to live comfortably with money to spare.

So let’s recap where I am at. I have a loving wife, a handsome 3 month old son, a roof over my head, food in my belly, a reliable car, and a workshop for me to tinker in. Reading this many would think that I’m living pretty good. But to me it isn’t enough. I desperately want it to be enough. But my mind just tells me that I need more.

This has become so incredibly frustrating. I find that I become mad at myself. I diminish my own success by comparing it others. Which makes me even angrier with myself.

So thinking back I do believe while growing up I became accustomed to a privileged lifestyle. I mean we lived in England, traveled the world, had a maid for crying out loud.

So I’m just now I need to rewrite my brain to show appreciation for what I have.
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Default Apr 22, 2021 at 10:54 AM
  #2
Hi @Stuck1nhead - I hear you. Parental expectations are engrained in our psyche but we can sort through them and keep the ones that feel like us and not worry too much about what others expect.

I am not sure this would be helpful to try as a mental exercise imagining your parents are gone. I lost my dad 5 years ago and I had to face some of the unreasonable expectations that I had lugged around for years. Now that he is gone, I am letting go of the ones that I choose to stop struggling with.

Gratitude really helps me. It can be simple, just appreciating being alive, having enough food and shelter, having companionship. The glass is always half full whether I see it or not. I am trying to see that every day so life does not slip away by me regretting the past or struggling to reach the future.

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Thanks for this!
Guiness187055, RoxanneToto
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Default Jun 22, 2021 at 09:25 PM
  #3
I understand. No advice but your not alone.

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