[cinnamonsun]

Five years ago my parents convinced me to file a chapter 13 bankruptcy because even though I was working, I couldn't afford all the payments on my student loans and they were co-signers and didn't want to take over the payments for me. Even though they co-signed, they don't believe or feel they have any responsibility to make payments. My parent's mentality about my college education was/is "No one paid for mine so I'm not paying for yours." I had the student loan companies tell me they are legally obligated, but all I could tell them is that...it's what my parents believe and there isn't anything I can do about it. They won't make payments. We were threatened to be taken to court and to avoid that I did the chapter 13.

I did very well with my chapter 13, I never missed a payment. I am ending in proper and good standing. Which is great. What is not great...is that...I'm in an even worse financial situation than I was when I filed. I lost almost all my money this year when I trusted friends and moved across the country. They screwed me over. Not only do I not have money in savings anymore because that whole venture took the thousands I had saved, but I lost 95% of my belongings. While I was out there I was setting up my work and life to be able to resume different payments. And sadly, it turned into a hostile and bad situation I had to flee from. Any time I tried to set myself up to be able to handle these payments everything completely fell apart in my life. It's not from a lack of trying. I did try, I did plan, I was working on it. Things just didn't work out.

My dad keeps bringing it up that my chapter 13 is ending and won't leave me alone about it. I know. He wants to know my plan, wants to know how I will make bigger payments. I tell him...I don't know. I kind of went through trauma and things this year and lost almost everything. What answer does he expect? They have no compassion or sympathy for what I went through. They also have several different incomes and a lot of money, which is more than what I have. I don't even have a car. I am so poor, I have pretty much have no assets. I'm worried about this because I'm putting all my efforts into recovery and therapy, and now this is happening. I have tried to work and turned into a disaster. I am disabled, too. I don't think he understands that I am trying. I don't know what to do. He suggested at one point I file another chapter 13 bankruptcy. I don't want to.

They will refuse to assist me with payments. I can't make payments unless I get a full-time job. I'm working on it. There aren't a lot of opportunities around here, this area is very rural. Not having a driver's license causes me to have limitations on jobs I can apply for. I have limitations because of my disease. I really don't have a solution. I've applied to 25 jobs since being back here and had maybe 3 interviews. It's not going that well. I have a seasonal job but it's only for the holidays.

I don't know what to do.

[Yaowen]

I wish I knew what to suggest but I have never been good with financial matters and am in a bad way right now with my own life. Your situation sounds really heartbreaking!

[cinnamonsun]

Thank you! @Yaowen.

I'm not really asking or expecting financial advice here. I'm trying to figure how to deal with my parents. My dad in particular, while this is going on. What kind of boundary do I need to set so he will leave me alone. Technically, this is my business and not his business. Yes, it could affect him but these are my loans. I need to figure out how to handle and deal with my parents and how they are about finances and money. Their perspectives and approaches I disagree with and find offensive, cruel and heartless.

The man who does my parent's taxes had a stroke during tax season. My parent's taxes were filed late. I was present when my dad called this man and harassed him because they have to pay $45 on a late fee. And he tore this man apart. There was a long pause where the man said, "You know I had a stroke and spent months in the hospital, right?" And my dad just shrugged and said he wanted his money and he shouldn't have to pay this fee. I was absolutely horrified. This is how my parents are about money. They don't care if you almost die. They don't care if you're homeless. They don't care if you went through trauma or tragedy. Money is all that matters.

I don't live this way or feel this way about money. I don't know how to handle them being this way about money. I just don't want to be harassed or manipulated into doing another chapter 13 bankruptcy or anything else.

[divine1966]

You live with your parents, right? Do you pay rent? Shared utilities? What’s the financial arrangement?

[sarahsweets]

There are so many relief programs at least to help most college loan holders currently. Have you called your loan provider and asked? Or the person/trustee/court official who manages the chapter 13? Why did you choose 13 instead of 7? I know in both student loan is never dismissed but there are much better options with the 7.

[hvert]

I guess if your parents didn't want to risk having to pay your student loans, they shouldn't have co-signed. Your father is acting like you got him into a mess, but he did it to himself. Was this a private loan?