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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,591
11 
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Jun 23, 2024 at 10:42 AM
#1
Everything I worked for has been undone. I'm very disappointed.
I haven’t been able to find work. My bank account is nearly depleted. I have enough to pay my rent next month. After that I am screwed. Out of desperation I applied for social assistance via the provincial website. Four weeks later they called to offer me an appointment in September. After we talked a bit, the lady told me she would call me back on Friday. She actually called back and offered an appointment in July instead and told me I was in a “prescribed class” so I did not need to do another medical application. All I have to do is pass their financial screening and they will help me. - I feel like I don’t qualify for this assistance. This is situational. This feels like I just took a few steps backwards. Five years ago I left the program and have been looking after my own needs by working. Last year I lost my job due to layoff. Life has been challenging since then. I lived off of EI for seven months which helped a lot. That ran out so I resort to my savings. I also completed a course with a work placement a few months ago and did not get hired because I am too ‘autistic’ for them. – This rejection really triggered me, because it confirmed yet again that I am socially flawed. I’m trying to get through this. Getting out of bed is easier and don’t feel suicidal as much as I did. The stress has been extreme. I lost about 15 pounds since the end of April. Grrr Note: Don’t reply if you have nothing helpful to add. I do not want to hear how terrible I am. I already feel awful. You don’t need to remind me. __________________ Dx: Didgee Disorder |
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,339
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Jun 25, 2024 at 10:41 AM
#2
Don't be so hard on yourself. Those programs are meant for people like you who need it. I'm sure you paid plenty of taxes to support such assistance when you were working.
Hugs, I hope things look up for you soon. |
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,926
(SuperPoster!)
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Jun 25, 2024 at 11:38 AM
#3
Nobody here would think you are terrible, my didge. Many of us walk in the same shoes, just trying to get thru the day. I sometimes feel i should have been working these last (mumblety) years, but people knocked me down for the last time.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,591
11
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Jun 26, 2024 at 10:50 AM
#4
Thank you for the replies and especially for not judging me. I appreciate it.
I feel I don't deserve help because I haven't tried hard enough in my job search. I know it is very rigid thinking. Stopping these thoughts is difficult. I keep telling myself not to be so hard on myself. Unfortunately it isn't working very well. The guilt I feel is overwhelming. __________________ Dx: Didgee Disorder |
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Moderator
Community Support Team 
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,523
18 79 hugs
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Jul 02, 2024 at 08:29 AM
#5
I'm sorry you're facing this setback and that you've been unsuccessful so far in finding a job, the job market can be brutal.
Please try not to feel bad about needing assistance - it's there for a reason, and they wouldn't give it to you if you didn't need it. Even though I'm working, I'm still on ODSP, albeit at a lower monthly payment than if I wasn't working. But it covers me for my meds and dental which I'm grateful for. I'm just grateful for the extra support. __________________  "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba 
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,591
11
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Jul 02, 2024 at 01:00 PM
#6
Quote:
I signed up with a service that assists job seekers with disabilities. The additional support should help with my weaknesses. E.g., interviews. My first appointment with the employment counselor is next week and it’s in person. Quote:
They called me to book an appointment about two weeks ago after a 29 day wait. It was supposed to be in September, but it was changed to the middle of July. They also sent me an email that lists all the documents they want and mentioned that they have to verify the ‘prescribed class’ status. I have to sign documents so they can do a background check. E.g., CRA and other government programs. It appears they will be looking for assets and loans. - I have nothing that I can convert to cash. They told me I could work while on it, as long as I am not on CPP-D, which I am not. Apparently one can make up to $1000.00 before ODSP deducts support. Is this amount net or gross? Is your caseworker responsive? My old one was nearly impossible to get a hold of. __________________ Dx: Didgee Disorder |
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Moderator
Community Support Team
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,523
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Jul 03, 2024 at 09:40 AM
#7
The 1000 you can earn / month is net. Over the 1000 they claw back your benefits 75 cents for every dollar earned, which isn't great.
I'm glad you've found an organization that works with people with disabilities. I worked with one a few years ago and found it very helpful. Good luck with everything. __________________ "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,591
11
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Jul 03, 2024 at 03:42 PM
#8
Thanks for the reply.
I was told they give you an extra $100 a month when you work. The ODSP changed since I left. You were only allowed to make $200 before deductions. After that they took 50 cents per dollar. The only way to get off it is to save for a few months, get help from family and/or friends or go full-time. __________________ Dx: Didgee Disorder |
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Moderator
Community Support Team
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,523
18 79 hugs
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Jul 04, 2024 at 11:37 AM
#9
Yes, that's right - you get an extra 100/month if you're working.
You're also eligible for the Employment Start up benefit which is up to 500 once a year for things like work clothes when you do find a job.. __________________ "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,591
11
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Jul 05, 2024 at 12:02 PM
#10
It's hard to believe they are being generous to people who want to work. I guess it is meant to help with the outrageous cost of living and increase the amount of money the province gets from taxes.
I am so conflicted about going back on this. __________________ Dx: Didgee Disorder |
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Moderator
Community Support Team
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,523
18 79 hugs
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Jul 06, 2024 at 11:35 AM
#11
I hear you about being conflicted. I was really reluctant to go on ODSP when I did, but honestly I was too sick to work at the time and my psychiatrist was encouraging me to apply for it, so I did and it was a real lifeline for me.
I would like to get off it, and am looking for jobs that will give me closer to full time hours so that I can get off it, but for now working part time and staying on it is really working well for me, I'm grateful to have it. __________________ "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,591
11
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Jul 06, 2024 at 08:45 PM
#12
When I got on it, I was in and out of the hospital. My present situation isn’t that bad. I’m not even sure I am sick enough to go back on it even though I don’t require a medical. I suspect I am going through an adjustment reaction and probably depression since I am lazy and unmotivated. Doing simple things takes a lot of effort. This illness (if I can call it that) feels situational. Employment would probably help get me out of this dark place.
My psychiatrist mentioned medication at my last appointment. She has been trying to motivate me to find work since it has shown to have a positive effect on my mental health and get help from family to pay my rent. I don’t think she wants me to go back on the ODSP. Apparently I was only one of two patients to get off it in her 30 + year career. It’s hard not to feel conflicted and guilty. Knowing I have a permanent disability besides mental illness doesn’t ease those feelings, since that disability didn’t prevent me from working full-time hours. I can’t find work right now. Ontario Works is not an option since it would not cover my rent. These reasons along with the previously mentioned ones don’t feel valid enough to seek the assistance of the ODSP. It feels like I am about to commit a crime. I’m dreading the upcoming appointment with the caseworker. __________________ Dx: Didgee Disorder |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,591
11
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Jul 13, 2024 at 05:08 PM
#13
Maybe I am just lazy and don't want to contribute to society because I feel so insecure.
__________________ Dx: Didgee Disorder |
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