[Grey Matter]

Since the forum is new, and is a safe space for us, I thought it would be nice to be able to be open about how we identify, etc, without worrying about debates beginning and the such!

I identify as genderqueer. I am neither male or female or in the binary genders, though I am typically more masculine/androgynous.

[bronzeowl]

It is nice to be open about it without worrying about how others take it.

I identify as transgender. Though, some days, I don't identify with one gender or the other. I think they call this 'bigender'. I don't know. Most days I identify as male. I rarely ever identify as female, though there is often that 'in between'.

[Grey Matter]

That's how I feel! Some days there is no gender related feelings. But when I do have a gender feeling it's towards the masculine side. Like I bind and everything. If I HAVE to be misgendered (my pronouns are them/them/theirs) I'd rather be called a he than a she.

What are your pronouns you want used, Bronze?

[bronzeowl]

I am essentially the same way. I would rather people use he than she, but if I am misgendered I prefer the gender neutral terms. Such as they.

[Grey Matter]

I'll remember to use they/them/theirs for you then!

I hate misgendering, which is why I hate that it has be normalized to assume someones gender based on appearances alone...it just seems. Lazy.

[bronzeowl]

I'll remember the same for you.

I hate it, too. It's always seemed lazy to me, as well. Almost... black and white, even. It assumes that everyone's reality and experiences are the same, and that everyone is going to identify a certain way because they're told to. And I don't know. That just never sat well with me.

[Grey Matter]

It's also the "normalization" of straight cis-people and the "bastardization" of trans*/non-binary people. Everyone assumes everyone is straight and cis because of the hetero-cis narrative and then they feel like you owe them an apology when you correct them. Insert big eye roll here.

[bronzeowl]

I think that definitely plays a role.

I'm just glad we have a safe place now. And will definitely be using it should I feel the need to do so.

[Pandoren]

My feelings about gender have changed over the years. For many years I never thought about it, I just concluded that I wasn't the opposite sex so I must be my biological sex and didn't question that even though I figured I was just a different kind of that sex, different from other people; I didn't think there were any more options than male, female, transgender and intersex. Once I came to realise the possibilities and analyse my feelings, I had some very strong active feelings of gender at one point, switching kinda upsettingly from feelings of female, rarely male, and aggressively agender (having an actual gender identity of being neither male nor female and wanting to present and be acknowledged as that identity...) but that all got overclouded with just a tide of apathy that grew and took all the feelings away, like a big void... so I guess now the label would be genderless... that I feel nothing.

[Grey Matter]

I was like that too. You hear all about male to female or female to male but the gender spectrum isn't really spoken about. You get to a certain point of apathy about it.

[bronzeowl]

Yup, exactly. The gender spectrum is far more versatile than so many people realize, I think..

I've been confused about my gender identity as long as I can remember. I generally just identify as my biological gender as it's easier, but I sort of feel like I'm both. Not 50/50 though and I think the proportion is flexible and I used to be more male and now I'm more female. Though, I almost think that's because I moved to a new place and even though most of the people I know are very open-minded and supportive I've been terrified to show myself as any more than my biological gender (well, at least in public, anyway). I think I'm also afraid that the people I've been generally attracted to of late (mainly cis-gendered, presumably straight males) would be turned off by masculinity. The last concert I played, I wore a tux (well, my tux was way too big on me, so technically it was a suit with a tux shirt and bow tie), but seemed to "make up for it" by piling on probably way too much makeup and wearing boots with high heels (for the record, those were literally the only dress shoes I could find so that wasn't by choice). So I was basically both genders simultaneously (at least in looks) and thankfully nothing negative was said. I even had a conversation about bow ties with the guy I have a crush on and by the way he acted he seemed to no be put off by me wearing a suit/tux. No one commented or looked at me funny…and yet I'm still nervous about being visually more "male". Eh…I don't know. I just wish he (or whoever I date of whatever gender identity) would just accept me for who I am and to help me accept it in myself.

I also feel a bit out of place in here as I tend to identify as biological gender and have posted in the forum specifically for that gender only. It seems no matter what I do, I either was lying or I am now. That's why I'm so confused.

[spondiferous]

Pandoren: I 100% identify with what you just said. I never really questioned my gender identity because I never really thought about it.
However...for me, I never 'felt like' a woman. But I 'knew' I 'wasn't a man'...because I didn't have the biological makeup. It never occurred to me there could be anything in between.
I still don't know what to make of it all. A few months ago I had a shakeup where I started packing for a little bit and it was a lot of fun. I would like to bind and see how that feels because I'm really self conscious about my breasts. Binding would probably be hard for me though. But even though the idea of flirting with a more 'masculine' appearance/persona (for lack of a better term) excites me I don't necessarily feel transgendered. I think I more identify with genderqueer, bigender, or androgynous. But I always get lumped in the cis-gender female category because that's how I present, for better or for worse. I'd have to do some considerable work to not present that way.
Anyway. I'm rambling. It's cool to see this forum here.

[Grey Matter]

Anyone who feels they identify outside of the gender spectrum or are struggling with their identity are allowed to post here! I don't think there are strict rules. I dress as my biological sex depending on where I am going. Like bloody work. -_-

Originally Posted by Teen Idle

Anyone who feels they identify outside of the gender spectrum or are struggling with their identity are allowed to post here! I don't think there are strict rules. I dress as my biological sex depending on where I am going. Like bloody work. -_-

Welcome back to the forums, Teen. I hope you're feeling at least a little better. And if I hadn't thanked you for this forum, I thank you now.

Now, I probably need to start a thread about when the best time to bring up gender identity with someone you're interested in dating…but maybe in the Sex and Gender forum, just because I wonder when to bring up my sexuality too…or look for an old thread about that.

A funny thing, when I was getting ready for my date last night I looked in the mirror and wondered why I looked like I was getting ready for a date with a girl, not a guy…not sure how to explain what that would look like since I was wearing make-up but apparently I can make make-up look masculine. Ah well, he's aware that I will wear men's clothes and had high male hormones at one point and seems really accepting.

[spondiferous]

After having spent an entire lifetime identifying (or not identifying) a certain way it's really surreal to be contemplating all this stuff. And I feel awkward talking about it a lot of times because I feel like, by my age, I should already have this stuff "figured out" (even though I know people of all ages question their identity, sexuality, etc). I am super hard on myself about this, as with all things.

[robutts]

I am agender/genderless/neutrois, with no pronoun preference.

How new is this subforum? It wasn't here the last time I logged in. :]

[Grey Matter]

Hey robutts, it's about a month old now? Maybe. I have a bad sense of time haha, but hello!

[Tophat8]

I've just recently started identifying as agender. I guess I never really had a problem identifying as my biological gender my entire life, and I still, for the most part, don't. But agender just feels more...suiting, you know?
Don't really have a preferred pronoun, but 'they' is nice, I suppose.

[MercilessShadow]

Transgender (male pronouns)

[rabbit1234]

I am on T, and have been for 10 months but right now I feel Gender queer masculine. I think a lot female but look a lot male

[Tenrou]

I am female-to-male, have been on T for 6.5 years, had top surgery in August, and that's as far into physical transition as I want to go with the current technology available. I don't much like people reciprocating sexually, so I don't have to worry about the 'female' parts of me much.
At the same time, while fully identifying as male, I also enjoy playing in the gender spectrum. I don't make an effort to be 'more masculine' or 'more feminine,' because I think anyone should be able to be however they like without 'boy' or 'girl' assigned to their activities. I like to cross-dress on occasion and think girl clothes are really sexy, sooo...To each their own

[cybermember]

I identify as a transman to close friends, but to the rest of the world I'm just a regular ol' guy.

[CaptainKirk]

I guess transgender, but I wish people would just forget I was ever female...

[FlowerChild67]

I was born with ambiguous genitalia and given the "Male" gender at birth. Since age 18 I have lived as female in my early 30's I finally had the gender corrective surgery and since 2008 have been legally female. I don't really understand this genderqueer, non-gender, no gender it just don't make sense to me I accept that other refer to themselves as these terms and will refer to them by their name instead of their presenting gender. I figure it's my Aspergers Syndrome that is making this very hard for me to except. Even when growing up as a so called "BOY" I never really felt male or present as male. I hate when others still refer to me as male or genderqueer, ECT... as I don't except those labels so I am one that feel the binary gender is good. this is just my feelings.
SamanthaAnne