I don't know if I'm just more "male" today or what, but I find that after watching pro sports that I feel really envious of the fact that males can "bulk up" and can have visibly obvious muscles. I really, really want to become muscular again, but this time take it seriously and get muscle definition in at least my arms. Nothing crazy, just enough that I have enough "bite" to support my "bark", so to speak.

The thing is, I used to naturally be able to become really muscular without doing anything really at all because I had a high amount of male type hormones…naturally. But the doctors put me on female hormones and the muscles disappeared and I became more girly…I guess I had just accepted it, but not anymore. It's almost like the hormones are trying to force me to be a gender I'm not. I just want to stop taking my medication and hope my numbers can go back up at least some…I don't know though, apparently my high male hormones "loosened up my joints" or something…hell I'm not even sure what bad it did to my body that wouldn't have naturally happened with male hormones anyway. Besides, my joints still won't stay in place so it doesn't seem to matter…at least before I didn't have to wear braces on my wrists to be able to do virtually anything that involved my arm muscles at all.

I'm so tired of being weak, but I can't think of anything more humiliating than weightlifting and not having the muscular body to prove it. Gah! Why did I let them mess with my hormones?! I felt better when my male hormones were higher when I was strong and aggressive enough that I wasn't a pushover like I am now.

[Pandoren]

If you don't know why the high levels of male hormones were a health issue, perhaps you should speak to your doctor? It may be that they thought you'd want to have a more feminine appearance rather than the effects of the male hormones so that's why they prescribed you. Otherwise, if there are health effects, perhaps you could discuss with them other ways of dealing with them, or to compromise on the amount of hormones you take?

[Grey Matter]

Most doctors, when handling biological sex, will make decisions based on the bio-sex rather than the gender identity, especially if we constantly have to tick "male or female", we really don't have a say. Which is horrid. A lot of hormonal based decisions are done on an assumption basis. They will want to adjust it based on your biological sex, even if no damage is being done.

Some people naturally have higher amounts of testosterone than estrogen. It comes from a slew of factors, mainly beginning in the womb. Then throw in environmental, food, etc. I do not see why they would see it as something dangerous (your joints are confusing me, that doesn't seem like a hormone thing but I'm not a doctor) as many people are given hormone replacement therapies despite their biological sex.

I would ask about the hormones they have you on as stopping them is really bad and dangerous. As long as your health is okay, you shouldn't feel forced to be on hormones.

Originally Posted by Pandoren

If you don't know why the high levels of male hormones were a health issue, perhaps you should speak to your doctor? It may be that they thought you'd want to have a more feminine appearance rather than the effects of the male hormones so that's why they prescribed you. Otherwise, if there are health effects, perhaps you could discuss with them other ways of dealing with them, or to compromise on the amount of hormones you take?

I'm already taking less medication than is usually prescribed because I can't physically handle the whole regimen. I think they were worried about a tumor because my numbers were so high…I don't know if there are other health effects. By the way, I've had tests done several times and I have no tumors or any serious abnormalities from this.

I supposed lowering DHEA has lowered my weight too and my overall body hair (which doesn't matter too much because I can shave if I need to).

It has lowered my muscle tone though—that might also have been caused by my joints hurting so I can't lift as much weight, I don't know.

Originally Posted by Teen Idle

Most doctors, when handling biological sex, will make decisions based on the bio-sex rather than the gender identity, especially if we constantly have to tick "male or female", we really don't have a say. Which is horrid. A lot of hormonal based decisions are done on an assumption basis. They will want to adjust it based on your biological sex, even if no damage is being done.

Some people naturally have higher amounts of testosterone than estrogen. It comes from a slew of factors, mainly beginning in the womb. Then throw in environmental, food, etc. I do not see why they would see it as something dangerous (your joints are confusing me, that doesn't seem like a hormone thing but I'm not a doctor) as many people are given hormone replacement therapies despite their biological sex.

I would ask about the hormones they have you on as stopping them is really bad and dangerous. As long as your health is okay, you shouldn't feel forced to be on hormones.

The way I understand it, DHEA isn't the same as testosterone, although they're similar. I think they were more concerned about why it was so high as it usually means some sort of tumor if they can't find any other cause.

I don't know about the joints either…that was just an unproven guess that a doctor suggested and that my mom agrees with because she also had high DHEA and had a lot of muscle pain/otherwise unexplained pain.

Another thing is, I need to be able to take birth control, which is the main component of the "treatment"…I'm sort of in the beginning stages of seeing a guy and I don't ever want to risk children as I believe I'm still physically able to get pregnant.

I don't know about all of this, I'm just really confused.

The last time I talked to the doctor she freaked me out by saying that I should have cancer with my number constantly going up and now I'm going to be subjected to another round of tests for I'm not sure what. The medicine that's supposed to help that was doubled too and I stupidly went along with it because I'm terrified of getting cancer.

But wouldn't it make more sense if I stopped taking all this crap (except maybe birth control while I'm still technically able to get pregnant because becoming pregnant would screw me up psychologically) and just get a scan to look for tumors every couple of years or so.

I just wish it didn't cost so much and put you out of commission so long to just get a hysterectomy…

I just wonder if I'm not somewhere on the trans* spectrum (for lack of a better term).