Been living with it a long, long, long time...Transgender

Ok, trying to figure out how to even begin with this subject. I find it so hard to talk about, not ashamed, but angry that I just wasn't born the way I wanted and am finally able to even speak about it. I am female and want to be male. I don't feel female and when I think of myself I don't think of a female person, my image in my head is male. However, I am also MPD and that makes things even more confusing!

I only came out on this two years ago, and fortunately I was in a group of other LGBTG folks who were clearly ok with it. Actually, one member came up afterward and told me how impressed she was with my courage. It really helped me a lot to hear that. I didn't feel like someone was going to throw bricks at me.

Okay, that's enough for now. I am finding myself unable to continue right now. Thanks.

You are very brave! We're here for you in our little bubble.

noelle56, thanks for sharing your truth.

Hello Noelle 56: I just happened onto your post. It sounds like you & I may have some things in common, in a reverse sort of way. I'm 65 (maybe not what we have in common- LOL!), but I'm an untransitioned MtF transgendered person. My earliest childhood memories involve crossdressing & feeling like I was born in the wrong body. I've also suffered from major depression (bi-polar?) & generalized anxiety disorder for about the same period of time.

I learned early on, I don't know how, that I must never talk about any of this to anyone. So I kept the secret for over 60 years through one major suicide attempt; until my second major attempt. This occurred about a year & 3 months ago. At that point, I decided to "come out of the closet" as they say.

I'm married &, since I came out, nothing has changed. In fact to a large extent I'm back in the closet just as I was before. I hate it. But there's nothing I feel I can do about it at this late stage in life. Yes, the anger you speak of is there for me too. From what I've read, this is fairly typical for individuals in our situation.

Anyway, when I read your post, I knew I just had to comment. Please feel free to PM me if you ever want to "talk". My best wishes to you!