[TheSeamster]

My biggest struggle is correcting people who call me by my old pronouns and assume I am a woman (i'm afab). But I'm very shy about correcting people or telling them. Are there any good ways to go about this?

[Grey Matter]

I learned really quickly to be loud about it. Which, I am shy too, so it wasn't an easy thing to learn.

But when I kept quiet about it for so long, people just used my old pronouns and didn't care.

I got point blank, and emotionless about it. "Please, can you not called me that?" turned into "Don't call me that." and "Those aren't my pronouns, okay?" to "Those aren't my pronouns. Use the right ones." I learned as soon as I cut out the over politeness out of my speech, people began taking it seriously (as it should be taken seriously no matter what!!!).

[AllyIsHopeful]

My partner battled this for a while. He is FTM. I was his voice for a while with all of this because I could see how numb he was when the wrong names and pronouns were used after so many times of correcting people. I cut the crap and began putting people in place when they did it, and eventually he mirrored the behavior. He is a tad more courteous about it.

You just have to find your voice. I know it is super hard. It hurt me and I was not even the one experiencing it firsthand. It'll take practice but you'll learn how to stand your ground.

[TheSeamster]

i'm trying hard to be more confident with it. My friends are picking it up well. It's my close classmates that scare me they're really nice and I consider them friends. And my logical side tells me they won't mind and will respect me, but my paranoid side keeps me quiet.

[Grey Matter]

Ah the paranoia voice. I think all of us non-binary and trans people have been there. I still sometimes am, it's okay! It can be a scary thing to do. Especially when you're shy in the first place. I know that feeling all to well.

Maybe you can create cards? That have your name and pronouns on them and hand them out to the people you trust? That way, you get your pronouns out there, they have a physical reminder, and you don't need to be too vocal about it?

[TheSeamster]

Originally Posted by Grey Matter

Ah the paranoia voice. I think all of us non-binary and trans people have been there. I still sometimes am, it's okay! It can be a scary thing to do. Especially when you're shy in the first place. I know that feeling all to well.

Maybe you can create cards? That have your name and pronouns on them and hand them out to the people you trust? That way, you get your pronouns out there, they have a physical reminder, and you don't need to be too vocal about it?

Thats a good idea!