[Irealltdonotcare]

I didn't know where best to post this but I've been thinking a lot lately, and where/what is the line between wanting to be the opposite gender and actually being transgender?

I have a friend who has gone no further than dressing in men's clothing but she still considers herself transgender. My understanding is this is part of what is called gender dysphoria (I could be completely wrong here) This shouldn't be confused though with transvestitism where one feels good and soothed by dressing in clothes of the opposite sex but have no desire to change genders.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Irealltdonocare: Hm-m-m-m... well... the Skeezyks is no expert in these matters... unless one equates a lifetime of being transgender with having developed some small amount of expertise on the subject. Different people use the terms "transgender" & "transsexual" differently. To my knowledge, there are no firm definitions. Here is a definition of the term "transgender" from Wikipedia:

"Transgender people are people who have a gender identity, or gender expression, that differs from their assigned sex. Transgender people are sometimes called transsexual if they desire medical assistance to transition from one sex to another. Transgender is also an umbrella term: in addition to including people whose gender identity is the opposite of their assigned sex (trans men and trans women), it may include people who are not exclusively masculine or feminine (people who are genderqueer, e.g. bigender, pangender, genderfluid, or agender). Other definitions of transgender also include people who belong to a third gender, or conceptualize transgender people as a third gender. Infrequently, the term transgender is defined very broadly to include cross-dressers, regardless of their gender identity."

I would have to admit that, for me, a lot of this is beyond my understanding. Back when I was young, there were boys & there were girls. And if you didn't happen to fit neatly into one of those categories, you darn well kept it to yourself if you knew what was good for you. But, I think the point is "transgender" includes individuals who "want to be the opposite gender". But it can also denote individuals with other gender identity perspectives as well.

The thing is... there are no tests with which one can be "diagnosed" as being transgender. Each of us has to decide in our own minds if we are, or are not, transgender... assuming that we feel the need to do that. The reality is it really isn't even necessary. Each of us simply is who s/he is. And there are many resting places along the gender identity continuum. Wherever one comes to rest... it's all good.

I personally find the terminology "wanting to be the opposite gender" to be curious. I know the term "wanting" gets used a lot. I've even used it myself! But, really, in my case I never "wanted" to be the opposite gender. But all of my life I have struggled with a compulsion, if you will, to be the opposite gender (in my case... female.) I would have much preferred to just be what I was born... male. But as far back as I can remember, I have been driven to be female.

One writer I have read referred to this as "the transsexual imperative". I never did anything to resolve this compulsion. And, either because of it or in addition to it, I've also struggled with depression, anxiety, & other mental health problems. As a result, I have great compassion for those who struggle with these issues. It is getting easier nowadays to be trans. But it can still be a challenge. So if this is something you struggle with, or if you are asking this question because you care for someone who is, my heart goes out to you... or them.

P.S. Thanks for posting this. I enjoyed replying to it. I hope something I wrote is of some value.

[-jimi-]

I don't understand how one can have a compulsion to be the opposite gender. For me, a compulsion is something else but maybe I just don't understand.

I think people can want to be the other gender without being trans. Like women who are very oppressed imagine how life would been easier being born male.

[-jimi-]

Also I think one can, as transgender, be that used to their body that they don't want to wake up as the other gender even if it was possible. Even if it is the body is the wrong gender. There are many ways of living as being trans. Also people might not want to go through any physical changes but still feel like the "opposite" gender. I think that sort of happens a bit online since you can speak through text and people will perceive your thoughts and text, not your voice and looks.

[Skeezyks]

Originally Posted by -jimi-

I don't understand how one can have a compulsion to be the opposite gender. For me, a compulsion is something else but maybe I just don't understand.

I think people can want to be the other gender without being trans. Like women who are very oppressed imagine how life would been easier being born male.

The Skeezyks simply writes his truth as he has experienced it.

[unaluna]

I think its more defined by, who you consider your "opposite" gender to actually be, and who you identify with. First you identify with someone, then the other is opposite, the not-you.

Originally Posted by Irealltdonotcare

I didn't know where best to post this but I've been thinking a lot lately, and where/what is the line between wanting to be the opposite gender and actually being transgender?

Too me, be gentle if I'm wrong....but wouldn't the point be knowing that you are transgender? Where you feel it heart and soul?

Like, sure I want a change, that's only because I "know" that this isn't right. I know that this body is wrong and I try to ignore every wrong thing about it, and I do the things to make this body more accepting to me like defurring, polished nails, jewelry, light colored clothing, carrying a bag. I do wear woman summer shorts and shirts that are more unisex because I say so, only because it feels right and seems normal. It's when I put on men clothes it feels weird, but I do try to get men clothes that are closer to my taste for the ignorant public and my safety.

Imho....thats where the line is, at least for me it is. Knowing.

[glitterbutterfly]

It's all about how you wish to identify and what best suits you.

[Nervouswreck564]

Originally Posted by Irealltdonotcare

I didn't know where best to post this but I've been thinking a lot lately, and where/what is the line between wanting to be the opposite gender and actually being transgender?

I'm the opposite I truly believe I'm transgender (female trapped in a male body) but don't wanna be of the oposite sex

[psychSciFiWriter]

There no real dividing line between being transgendered and being a cross dresser. If experience gender dysphoria you are transgender but someone who merely wants to dress in drag sometimes could be transgender or a cross dressers it is all in how they want to identify.

[Apokolips]

There is a deciding line. Cross dressers identify with their biological sex. Trans people do not.

[bighands]

Originally Posted by Nervouswreck564

I'm the opposite I truly believe I'm transgender (female trapped in a male body) but don't wanna be of the oposite sex

I have a friend who feel exactly the same as you but it's really hard to understand. Who do you find yourself sexually attracted to? My friend likes men, doesn't wanna be a girl but hates that people think she is a gay man.

[Pflaumenkeks]

For me, being transgender is absolutly not "but having the body of" something. I think my body fits me very well (allthough some things are missing, but there are ways so compensate for that). Gender dysphoria, for me, is not about that.
I don't feel trapped and I certainly don't think my body belongs to another gender(I mean, it's my body so it is defined by my gender).
But I understand that not everybody feels like this and I think it's important to acknowlege different experiences. After all we are not one homogeneous group, but individuals.

I didn't know I was transgender for most of my live. I only knew that I doesn't fit. Neither with the girls nor the boys. It just felt odd thinking about me in that terms. There was allways this distance.

When I first heard the term "genderqueer", I felt something warm inside my heart. It felt right and I felt like I finally belonged.

So the thing about "wishing to be another gender" doesn't really apply to me. I am my gender and I don't wish to be another. Phrasing it like this sounds very stange to me. But that's just my experience