So basically since I've been 4 I've worn boys clothes and such, hung out with boys but also some girls. Anyways, when I was around 5th grade I started wearing girl clothes again, with no pressure from anyone to do so. I just wore them because I don't know I felt fine in them didn't feel uncomfortable, and this lasted until a quarter of the way into sophmore year. All of a sudden I felt practically uncomfortable in everything I was wearing. I couldn't stand dresses. So I though hey, maybe I'll feel more comfortable in boys clothes. Buzzed off my whole head, wore my dad's clothes ect. I just don't know what happened but since I'm a lesbian it makes since I wear masculine clothes but at the same time i just feel so uncomfortable with my big thighs and big breasts. I bind, probably unsafely too, I wear baggy clothes. I just can't stand my body. I don't know wear to turn, because if I've been feeling like this for my whole life I would of been like hey I probably transgender, but since this huge identity change and this sudden dysphoria I really don't know. I've looked online everywhere considering I have horrible mood swings, and think people don't love me enough, and paranoid people are out to hurt me (I thought my doctor was a psychopath trying to harm me or kill me), and I also cut because i get so agitated and irritated. All this symptoms point to a mental illness, rather that be borderline personlaty disorder, bdd, or depression ect. But what I don't understand is for awhile i felt boyish, that when away, and came back full blunt force which makes me think im transgender. I put my name to xavier on here, I'm fine when people call me he but its confusing . I really need help
Jul 31, 2015, 03:50 PM
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.
Linear Mode
