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Member Since May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 6
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#1
I feel like this is a legitimate thing to be stressed about, I just have a level of anxiety over it that makes me want to look for support.
One of my best friends lives with an abusive parent, hes 17 and trans and of course his mom is adamant that it's a phase even though more than one therapist has diagnosed him as transgender. His mom is so bad that she has physically attacked him, kicked him out of the house, and then later claimed that I kidnapped him because I picked him up after she kicked him out and he was walking down the street with nowhere to go. Now shes talking about shipping him off to be hospitalized to "cure him" and the only option I see at this point to avoid that happening is to let him stay with me. Of course she will likely decide I kidnapped him again if that happens so we will have to get a protection order against her to avoid the police ending up at my door. My affairs are in order and there is no reason the court system would say that he couldn't stay here, hes 17 for God's sake and will be able to legally make his own choices in under a year but the idea of having to deal with the legal system is sending me into hysterics. I live with my husband and our three best friends and we are all working together to make this happen but mine and my husband's names will be on all the paperwork stating that we will be his caregivers until hes 18. I guess I'm really stressing about what his mom is going to do to try to drag us through the mud and make our lives hell because he will be getting away from her, and I'm also scared that he will at some point feel like because I told him he could stay with me that I came between him and his mom or something. Obviously I won't make him do anything he doesn't want to, and if he wants to abide by his mom's wishes I won't stand in the way of that despite my fear that it will hurt him. I don't know. Does anyone have any similar experiences or anything? I am gender neutral myself but I didn't come out until after I was out of my mom's house, much because I knew she would respond the same way his mom has. |
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Junior Member
Member Since May 2015
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 15
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#2
I curious as to where she thinks she can hospitalize and cure him? Here in the USA we go by DSM-5 which states that transgender is not a disorder. Therefore nothing to cure. It wouldn't be a respectable hospital... just a "reparative therapy" quack job.
__________________ I am not easily offended, so do not be worried about hurting my feelings. What you say says a lot about you, and very little about me. |
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Member
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: My own little world
Posts: 246
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#3
Firstly, I'd look into laws in your local area and see if there's anything there to keep in mind. I recommend Transgender Rights | Lambda Legal to start
If your friend is okay with it, I'd report his mother as an abusive parent to the authorities. Does he feel like he needs his mom in his life? Does he want to connect with his mother? You'll need to sit and talk with him on these issues to be sure. Secondly, I'm quite positive the authorities will side with you. If she kicked him out then decided you kidnapped him, she's obviously the one at fault here. Question if she really cares for her child's well being, or just wants to control him. I find a lot of abusive parents of transgender kids tend to just want the control of their child because they view their child as something that belongs to them. What's really important is that your friend is safe both physically and mentally. I'm glad you're there for him to keep him safe And I hope everything works out okay. Be safe. __________________ Demiboy They/them/their Never compromise your identity for someone else. |
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#4
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,929
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#5
Do you have an attorney helping you?
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