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arich62
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Default Feb 20, 2023 at 08:30 PM
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Alec here, age 60. Actually this post is about hormones as I am editing it now. Getting into gender therapy and getting prescribed female hormones have been a couple of positive situations that happened because of the pandemic which allowed me the time alone, space and online access to therapy while being able to explore my gender by participating in transgender groups on Zoom.
My current status is that I was able to get prescribed estrogen back in August. Was able to get a referral to a doctor who prescribed. My gender therapist encouraged me to start hormones. I guess she felt this would really test my resolve to see if I was a true trans person. I was reluctant at first, waited about a year, started in August. Stayed on them for two months. Fear and depression and mood swings from being on them and side effects I decided to micro dose and ultimately quit after two months. In January I restarted the hormones, taking full dosage, knowing what to expect and more used to and adjusted to the changes. The estrogen is addicting in the way that it makes me feel calmer and more at peace with myself. I just fear the day still when I will become fearful of the outside world. I know that transition is supposed to happen from the inside out and not the other way around and at times it can feel like I am doing it backwards but I am far from passable, I need to lose a lot of weight and take better care of myself.

Last edited by arich62; Feb 20, 2023 at 11:16 PM.. Reason: add information
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The_little_didgee
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Default Feb 26, 2023 at 03:55 AM
  #2
It's comforting to read the experiences of older people who are transitioning or are considering it.

I came out in June 2020 at the age of 42. It was a relief since I struggled with my gender since childhood. In the 1990s when I was a teen I thought about it a lot but never verbalized it. I even tried to live as a guy at one point. - I never knew my experience had a name until 2014.

My job made me confront myself in 2019. The lockdown and layoff gave me the opportunity to look up the topic and think more about it.

Like you I was terrified in the beginning and wasn't sure I was ready when I attended my first appointment. I was scared the physical changes would happen too fast and that the hormones would trigger psychosis, so when I started I took the cautious approach. I used Androgel for 4 months and then switched to weekly injections last November. - I am impressed with the results on my 45 year old body.

Sometimes I worry I won't ever pass since estrogen has been working on my body for about 30 years. This makes me wonder at times if I am doing the right thing for me. Can I live with an androgynous looking body. Is this a concern you have as well?

Can you explain what you mean by transition is supposed to happen from the inside out and not the other way around?

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arich62
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Default Feb 27, 2023 at 08:13 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by arich62 View Post
Alec here, age 60. Actually this post is about hormones as I am editing it now. Getting into gender therapy and getting prescribed female hormones have been a couple of positive situations that happened because of the pandemic which allowed me the time alone, space and online access to therapy while being able to explore my gender by participating in transgender groups on Zoom.
My current status is that I was able to get prescribed estrogen back in August. Was able to get a referral to a doctor who prescribed. My gender therapist encouraged me to start hormones. I guess she felt this would really test my resolve to see if I was a true trans person. I was reluctant at first, waited about a year, started in August. Stayed on them for two months. Fear and depression and mood swings from being on them and side effects I decided to micro dose and ultimately quit after two months. In January I restarted the hormones, taking full dosage, knowing what to expect and more used to and adjusted to the changes. The estrogen is addicting in the way that it makes me feel calmer and more at peace with myself. I just fear the day still when I will become fearful of the outside world. I know that transition is supposed to happen from the inside out and not the other way around and at times it can feel like I am doing it backwards but I am far from passable, I need to lose a lot of weight and take better care of myself.
I guess what I was thinking of from "transition happening from the inside out rather than the outside in just has to do with the mind, or social transition happening first and getting used to the role before starting HRT. Perhaps it's a different approach for F2M's? Back in my day (the 1990's) those in gender transition were required to live in RLT (Real Life Therapy) for one year before even starting hormones. Now all of that has changed and it's like they give us a grace period of several months to "detransition" if so choose.

Yes, I do think often of just being gender -noncomforming as I am in particular nervous about growing breasts too large. Tiny is ok and want to get my medication controlled to where the growth is really slow and rather be somewhere in the middle. But I like the other changes in me, softer skin, larger eyes, buttocks. It's where I wanted to be I guess, for so many years so many years. I tried for many years, when I would get out of the closet I would soon go back in and back and forth and felt that HRT would push me forward but instead is doing the same, just on another level.
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