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Old Dec 19, 2015 at 01:43 AM
  #1
 
Okay, I've run across a few threads, articles, and videos about detransitioning. I actually never heard of that concept till just then. I always thought of it as a one-way street just because a person is trapped....I can identify.

It seems that those who went through the transition and then changed their minds either missed being their assigned gender, wasn't what they thought it was, or it was too much work.

I can see where one thinking that they'd be happy as an opposite gender only to come to find out that they were delusional and wanted back, but isn't that what therapy is for, to bring up these things before transitioning? I've never had this kind of therapy, so I don't know.

There was one transgender woman that said being a woman was too much work and that she's going back to be a man, so would you say that he wasn't transgendered?

I just find it like they changed for the wrong reasons- that's a hard way to learn something about yourself. It's amazing how we can pick and choose gender now a days, and it's going to be even easier in the future.

I hope that I didn't step on anyone's toes. I'm just shocked that such a life changing decision can be made wrong.

Has anyone have any thoughts about this? Words of wisdom to express?

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Old Dec 19, 2015 at 06:29 PM
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Although de transitioning isn't very common, it's often easy to find stories about it. A lot of the times I see it used to discredit transgender people. But there's nothing wrong with wanting to go back.

Sometimes people make this decision too lightly or aren't happy with the results. It's like having kids or getting married, it may sound good and even perfect, but for some people it just doesn't work out.

All big life decisions can be like this. I don't personally have experience with this, so I can't speak for anyone who has made this decision.

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Old Dec 19, 2015 at 08:42 PM
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Always changing, people who have transgendered have successfully gone back to their original birth gender. Myself i was born both sexes. My mother decided she wanted a girl. My Dad treated me like a son, my mother like a girl. I never cared for dating men or being with them sexually. It does nothing for me. I guess because of this i have learned even though my mom made me a woman i have learned this is who i am even though i have no desire what so ever to be with men. Mentally i am a man. So i have learned to be asexual a person who is happy just being themselves. I don't want to be with anybody. I am going through a divorce, the pain is horrible. Yet i learned i don't care anymore. I like my own company and i am tired of explaining myself to a judging world. I am happy being single and the way i am. This is the mentality people come to. And it is a world most cannot understand. So you must be happy for those making the change back and be happy for them. They have suffered enough. Blessings
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Old Dec 20, 2015 at 02:59 PM
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Right on. The costs is something that sticks out of my head, what an expensive venture to begin with....and to do it 2-3 times!

Omg...I can barely afford bipolar!

It's unclear as to what the statistics to detransitioning are, like y'all said, the trans community wants to keep it hush hush.

But you know, I'm happy for them that they tried as individuals.
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Old Dec 21, 2015 at 06:45 PM
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Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2 View Post
Right on. The costs is something that sticks out of my head, what an expensive venture to begin with....and to do it 2-3 times!

Omg...I can barely afford bipolar!

It's unclear as to what the statistics to detransitioning are, like y'all said, the trans community wants to keep it hush hush.

But you know, I'm happy for them that they tried as individuals.
Transsexual regret | Advocate.com

Please don't assume and accuse. All you need is an Internet search to see all the people saying "OMG see it's just a crazy new fad. Next they'll want to become animals". If the trans community is trying to keep it hush-hush, they're doing an extraordinarily bad job of it.

Not to mention anyone who wants to undergo surgery has plenty of time to think about the what-ifs.

If not a single person ever wanted to detransition, I'd be mightily surprised. People can come to regret anything. People make bad life-changing decisions. It's human nature.

And lastly: someone said being a woman is too much work? That's a complaint about gender roles, and not all people adhere to them. I'm sorry, it just sounded too ridiculous to me.
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Old Dec 21, 2015 at 08:33 PM
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Transsexual regret | Advocate.com

Please don't assume and accuse. All you need is an Internet search to see all the people saying "OMG see it's just a crazy new fad. Next they'll want to become animals". If the trans community is trying to keep it hush-hush, they're doing an extraordinarily bad job of it.

Not to mention anyone who wants to undergo surgery has plenty of time to think about the what-ifs.

If not a single person ever wanted to detransition, I'd be mightily surprised. People can come to regret anything. People make bad life-changing decisions. It's human nature.

And lastly: someone said being a woman is too much work? That's a complaint about gender roles, and not all people adhere to them. I'm sorry, it just sounded too ridiculous to me.
I'm not assuming...I've heard it mention here and there, really doesn't matter to me.

The too hard to be a woman thing I think was more about the upkeep and make up. But that's how she felt.

I mean you got that Walter guy and all the other churches practically screaming about it....after a few moments listening to them, it kinds of leave you shell shocked wondering why did I click that garbage in the first place.

Anyways, it as just new and interesting.
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Old Dec 22, 2015 at 10:37 PM
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There is a transgender therapist & researcher named Anne M. Vitale, Ph.D. She wrote a book titled: The Gendered Self: Further Commentary on the Transsexual Phenomenon, Flyfisher Press, 2010. (By the way, this is a wonderful book for older MtF transgender individuals to read. It explains SO much!)

One of the aspects of the transgender experience that Dr. Vitale talks about is that there is a continuum of transgenderedness. It's not all or nothing. Some children are born knowing absolutely that they were born the wrong gender. They have no doubts in their minds. Some individuals are only mildly trans. They may not need to transition at all. They may be satisfied to simply tweak their wardrobe & personal appearance a bit.

Then there are those who fall more-or-less in the middle. They are torn both directions. These are the individuals who experience the worst anguish. And I think this may explain the de-transitioning phenomenon. For some individuals, there is simply so much confusion surrounding gender identity, that neither living in the individual's assigned birth gender, nor transitioning to the opposite gender, brings peace. Hopefully as society becomes more accepting of, & knowledgeable about, the transgender phenomenon transgender persons will grow up with less anguish & confusion.

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Old Feb 23, 2023 at 09:52 PM
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Wow! This topic and this thread is 8 years old! And here it is even more relevant today in 2023. This past year has seen such an amazing amount of detransition, most seem to be F2M2F. An amazing turn-around from the time celebrities came out within the last 8 years to see people bucking the trend. I do find this kind of a relief to see as I am one of them (sort of) and not alone, especially at my older age of 60. I was kind of encouraged to get on the HRT for the past year by the doctor and have had a total of 3 months, on and off and kind of like the feeling the estrogen gives me a kind of calmness and like some of the features but for various personal reasons prefer remaining in a kind of neutral - or nonbinary state. I worry, with already having gynocamasta that I could grow larger breasts which wouldn't be appropriate at this juncture in my life. Very much in the middle as Skeezkys mentions above. I have an appointment with the specialist on the 27th next week to discuss this.
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Old Feb 24, 2023 at 08:01 AM
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Originally Posted by arich62 View Post
Wow! This topic and this thread is 8 years old! And here it is even more relevant today in 2023. This past year has seen such an amazing amount of detransition, most seem to be F2M2F. An amazing turn-around from the time celebrities came out within the last 8 years to see people bucking the trend. I do find this kind of a relief to see as I am one of them (sort of) and not alone, especially at my older age of 60. I was kind of encouraged to get on the HRT for the past year by the doctor and have had a total of 3 months, on and off and kind of like the feeling the estrogen gives me a kind of calmness and like some of the features but for various personal reasons prefer remaining in a kind of neutral - or nonbinary state. I worry, with already having gynocamasta that I could grow larger breasts which wouldn't be appropriate at this juncture in my life. Very much in the middle as Skeezkys mentions above. I have an appointment with the specialist on the 27th next week to discuss this.
Iím surprised there isnít more activity in this forum as it feels like there has been more focus on all transgender matters over the past several years. Sending support for all dealing with the issue in wherever they are at.

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Old Feb 24, 2023 at 08:19 AM
  #10
 
I was assigned female at birth. I always felt male. I got on testosterone almost 3 years ago in March when I was 27. I had top surgery 6 months later that October Then a hystrectomy a year later in October 2021. I have zero regrets about anything and I am glad I can finally be me. I'm kinda short at 5'5 but slim and muscular so it makes up for my height and I have a lot of facial hair and my voice is very deep, so I pass easily.

I've had trouble with keeping certain blood levels under control with my testosterone. I've had to had a few phelbotomy procedures and my dose has to had to be switched around a bit. Things seem under control now.

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Old Feb 24, 2023 at 07:40 PM
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I too am surprised, perhaps a little disappointed that there is a limited amount of talk about transgender on this website. I was on here a lot ten years ago and there was even a separate Transgender "room on the old PsychCentral site.
I think, well there is a lot of anomosity between the wide spectrum of transgender people and people are afraid of engaging in crosstalk. The transgender community has take a bad rap this past year - I don't think in history I have seen such negativity towards the trans community. The puberty blocker issue, the transgender athletes, sexual assaults by misdiagnosed or misguided "trans" people who probably should not even be on HRT. Like I said, in my 47 years of knowing about trans people this year has been the roughest. I have my own thoughts about it - that this is NOT the time in my life for me to be on HRT- even at age 60. Life is only crazier, with more interruption and less freedom than ever before. And for the authentic transgender individual this has to be a rough time with all the BS they have to put up with. You must have to have thick skin to start with - even if one knows this is undeniably themselve.s.
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Old Feb 24, 2023 at 07:43 PM
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I was assigned female at birth. I always felt male. I got on testosterone almost 3 years ago in March when I was 27. I had top surgery 6 months later that October Then a hystrectomy a year later in October 2021. I have zero regrets about anything and I am glad I can finally be me. I'm kinda short at 5'5 but slim and muscular so it makes up for my height and I have a lot of facial hair and my voice is very deep, so I pass easily.

I've had trouble with keeping certain blood levels under control with my testosterone. I've had to had a few phelbotomy procedures and my dose has to had to be switched around a bit. Things seem under control now.
Well, it's good - I am assuming that you are getting regular check-ups with your doctor getting things under control. As I go through my process, I make sure it is safe. Have a doctor's appointment Monday to discuss blood levels and to ask other questions of fluctuating hormones as I look to pause this for a while.
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Old Feb 26, 2023 at 04:35 AM
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I'm not surprised people are detransitioning. It is disconcerting, because it is another example of medicine losing its way by failing to do thorough assessments. They are causing harm to vulnerable and impressionable youth who are not transgendered, but are struggling with their identity. -- I wonder how much of this is due to social media. It seems people will do whatever to get views like eating tide pods and cooking chicken in cough syrup.

The obsession with pronouns is killing the community. The worst offenders are not even trans.



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Old Feb 27, 2023 at 08:28 AM
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I'm not surprised people are detransitioning. It is disconcerting, because it is another example of medicine losing its way by failing to do thorough assessments. They are causing harm to vulnerable and impressionable youth who are not transgendered, but are struggling with their identity. -- I wonder how much of this is due to social media. It seems people will do whatever to get views like eating tide pods and cooking chicken in cough syrup.

The obsession with pronouns is killing the community. The worst offenders are not even trans.


That is true. First I see on social media (especially video) whereby many authentic transgender people are really angry and embarrassed by those who are not who are not, who like you say are struggling and doing these silly videos and/ or getting into sexual assault cases. Most of the detransitioners seem to be F2M2F and like you mentioned are being mislead. I think what started it was/ is the extremely high suicide ideation rate for trans people. That got attention a few years ago and I guess the mental health community decided that meant everyone who has transgender thoughts needs to go on HRT and/ or puberty blockers now. Then all the anti-trans legislation that has followed, seemed like it started in politics, spread to the media. I never imagined transgender" becoming a household word. And too many - youth mainly, are being encouraged to come out and transition because it's trendy, instead of waiting, exploring and following their heart - like I have at age 60.
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