Gender Dysphoria

I have really intense gender dysphoria from time to time and I'm always struggling to cope with the immense feelings of dysphoria and disgust all at once. Most of the time I end of very upset to the point where death becomes appealing.

I'm trying to find a therapist in my city, but for the meantime I need ways to cope with this, and I'm still trying to figure out how to bring up the fact that I want to see a therapist to my dad. He usually dismisses my feelings or doesn't believe me. Annnd he still calls Caitlyn Jenner a man, so I don't have plans to tell him about the gender issue (I'd rather avoid telling him altogether).

Hello handsomejack: The Skeezyks is an older person who has struggled with the "transgender imperative" (as it was referred to in one book I read) for many years... decades really. (Think Caitlyn Jenner without the medals... except I never transitioned.) As has been written, if you're trans, you're trans for life. It never goes away.

When I was growing up, the words "transgender" & "transsexual" hadn't even been coined yet. There were boys & there were girls. And if you didn't fit neatly into one of those categories, you darn well kept it to yourself, if you knew what was good for you. So I just grew up feeling weird & sort-of secretly perverted. I also, I think, developed something of a split personality. There was my external male persona & my secret inner female persona. I still have them both.

Anyway... I'm sorry you are struggling & have no one with whom you can share this burden... & it is a burden... I know. I do hope you will be able to find a therapist you can share this with. I understand your reluctance to talk to your Dad. My father is long since gone now. But I never told either him or my mother... or anyone else for many years. I can just imagine how my father would have reacted! I can just hear it: "Jesus, 'bud' (he used to call me 'bud') ... what the hell's the matter with ya...?"

Please don't despair! As tough as it is nowadays, conditions for trans individuals are light-years ahead, today, of what they were in my time.

Looks like you're newish, handsomejack, so welcome. I'm also sorry to hear of your struggles. It's difficult enough trying to sort out issues of identity and how to relate to oneself without having to worry about how other people perceive it and whether or not you can get the right help. I hope you are able to find something. In the meantime, you can always share here. I'm pretty new to this journey, just recently (as in last week) discovered I am FtM. I have experienced dysphoria my entire life. I always assumed it was because of body image stuff but I now realize this was likely a big part of it.

It sucks that your dysphoria acts up, and that your dad isn't understanding.

A few ways to cope with it while you wait to see a therapist is to tell someone you trust, like a friend. You can also join a few forums for trans people and vent online.

Hi handsomejack...and welcome to PC!

At least you are finding out now. Even I knew at a very very young age...like 45 yeas ago and have been trying to hide it forever and over compensating to be the sex I am birn as.

This is all about you...not you and your father. He's just another person in the grand scale of things that will soon just be a phone number away. He will either love you or reject you. Big deal...that's his choice to be all he can be.

You have a difficulty to live with, not him. He just has an opinion, and you know how much they are worth. I can understand timing, but what has helped me is doing some of the things that helped relax me feel freerer like exfoliating, trying different nail polishes, little things....but the biggest thing that I've done is build a transitioning plan- if anything a goal to correct what is wrong. That in itself has made me feel better.

I hope it helps you, too.