[Elio]

March 21st. Top Surgery

Gulp, I am really going to do this. Yay!!??!! I think.

I haven't told my family. We are sort of close, I see them multiple times a year and both my mom and dad live within a 2 hour drive. I'm 48 yr old and have been binding for the last 20 yrs. I recently lost over 150 pounds (planned and monitored, and in part because the surgery became an option). As I lost the weight, I have been able to bind closer to a flat chest. Other than the scars, I think there won't be much of a difference in my outward appearance (with clothing on). So, do I even need to tell them? I don't want to tell them but I feel obligated to tell them, they are my family. Yes, I've been talking to t about it and have been for a little while. I'm not getting any closer to a decision, just closer to the surgery date.

And - yes, they have taken pretty much everything about me on a "don't ask, don't tell" format.

I don't know what I want from this post, just wanted to get it out and in black and white.

Also, do I do before and after pic?? another one that only I can decide.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Elio: I don't really have any recommendations with regard to your concerns. Personally I don't think you need to tell your family. I think the question simply comes down to whether or not, not telling them, will create an emotional barrier.

If you don't tell them, they may at some point begin to "sense" that something is different & start asking you if you're okay. If that occurs, then you're put in a position of either having to lie or come clean with the fact that you did this & kept it to yourself for whatever period of time has elapsed since you had the surgery. Given your age, none of this should be any big deal from my perspective. But I know how families can be. Anyway... good luck with your surgery!

[Elio]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

I think the question simply comes down to whether or not, not telling them, will create an emotional barrier.

If you don't tell them, they may at some point begin to "sense" that something is different & start asking you if you're okay. If that occurs, then you're put in a position of either having to lie or come clean with the fact that you did this & kept it to yourself for whatever period of time has elapsed since you had the surgery.

Yeah, pretty much where I am with it. Which do I want to deal with the least... telling them beforehand or telling them some point after the fact and compounding the situation with having kept it to myself.

[SgtRock]

I hope that everything goes well for you.

[-Astral-]

how did everything go ?i hope you are all healed and looking fab

[Elio]

home and on the good meds. things went well. surgeon thinks i will be very happy with the outcome. i'll have to wait until monday to get a view of everything. i'm feeling good emotionally/mentally about everything, so that is good. thanks for asking.

oh and anyone thinking of doing this...talk to them about getting a nerve block. i had never heard of them doing it for this surgery; however, there was some misunderstanding about some of my medications so they thought i had chronic pain. they offered the nerve block to help with post op pain. it was beautiful.

[SgtRock]

Good to hear Elio. Keep us informed.

Originally Posted by Elio

home and on the good meds. things went well. surgeon thinks i will be very happy with the outcome. i'll have to wait until monday to get a view of everything. i'm feeling good emotionally/mentally about everything, so that is good. thanks for asking.

oh and anyone thinking of doing this...talk to them about getting a nerve block. i had never heard of them doing it for this surgery; however, there was some misunderstanding about some of my medications so they thought i had chronic pain. they offered the nerve block to help with post op pain. it was beautiful.

Yaaay!...I'd go for a nerve block....had it on my knee surgery from the waist down....felt nothing.

I'm happy that you are taking steps. Yes, I would be taking pictures all the way through (even though responding way late)....

Just moisturize your scars (which should be minimal) and let some chest hair grow!

As far as family go....that's your call that only you know your family because every family dynamic is different. My family I wouldn't say **** to because we would not see each other....lol.

[Elio]

I had some problems with swelling and numbness on left forearm. I had upper arm lift done at the same time. I think the upper arm wrap was too tight. I loosened the wrap, iced, and elevated. That helped.

I did some short walks today and able to cut back on pain meds slightly. I am still sleeping a fair amount. Drainage has moved to yellow/clear, volume is low. All good signs.

For those looking to have this surgery, bowel care is very important. You don't want to get constipated. Forgive me if tmi.

I've started having these feelings in my chest, like a vibrating phone is sitting against it. Very weird, though I am happy that there is sensations.

[Elio]

Drains came out today and I got to see things. I have a masculine chest. It looked good. I was not bothered by the incisions. It did feel like I was looking at someone else and not me. I am not sad that they are gone. I am not sure yet on if I feel more me.

I am on a step down of pain meds and tonight it is not feeling like I have taken enough. I am having burning sensation on my chest, like icy hot; which means nerves are healing but annoying.

[Elio]

I had a dream last night and I had my new chest, scar/incisions and all. I don't usually look like my physical body in my dreams so this is a new and pleasant experience for me. I like that it was a chest showing the journey and not one of a cis male; that there is no illusions towards what is there.