How do LGBTQ+ people find dates? How would someone like me ever find one?

For people who are part of the LGBTQ+ community, how do you find people to date? (For this thread, I'm referring to finding partners or anybody beyond a one-night stand)

Just for reference, I'm bisexual and non-binary towards the masculine side (assigned female at birth) although I don't always present that way. So I don't know if I'd personally consider myself under the transgender umbrella, but I'm not cis.

Anyway, I never know how to find female partners. Male partners seem to be easier to find (not ones I'm interested in, but there's more of them in general) but if they're straight they can be not understanding, judgmental, or cruel about the gender thing. I felt forced to present very female in my last relationship (with a straight cis male). I go to LGBTQ+ social events on a regular basis. I'm not blatantly out, but someone who goes to these things and looks boyish I'm sure I pass as queer in some flavor.

But I never seem to meet anybody single. So...I don't understand. Did everyone already meet each other and there's no one left? How is everyone else meeting someone? Magic? Am I not welcome in the LGBTQ+ world because I was (and still am) closeted? Or is there some other method that people have to find others? I feel so unattractive...and fake...I haven't "proved" my sexuality yet. And I'll never "prove" my gender because I'm not sure I'll ever transition in any way. I don't have the clothes (or the body shape really) to really look completely masculine anyway.

So...does anybody know what I'm supposed to do?

Thanks for posting in the newly minted LGBTQ+ forum! I'm sorry I don't know anything about this. But I noticed no one had yet replied to your post. So I thought I would.

It seems as though, more_&-more, people are meeting over the internet. Back in my day there was no internet. So, if one was going to have a relationship, one "chose" from the people who came into one's life in whatever way that happened to occur. Nowadays, with the internet, it seems as though there are, perhaps, almost too many options to choose from? I don't know... that's just my impression. I hope some other PC members, from the LGBTQ+ community, reply to your post.

What comes up when you google LGBTQ+ dating sites? What related sites does Facebook have?
In finding friends online (I’m heterosexual and look for platonic friends of both sex’s), not dating I find that its a very different world when people have so many friends. I just read a blurb by the former pres of Facebook in which he said that so many people are going for many superficial relationships rather than fewer close ones in the old days. However, if you click with someone it can be a match!

I've looked at multiple dating sites. Usually, there are mainly just straight options. And most (especially paid) make you choose whether you're "straight" or "gay". Outside of that, it seems mostly hook-ups or three ways. I don't necessarily have a problem with that, but with a lot of bad sexual experiences, I want to know/trust a person first. Besides, I have no idea what to say with a computer screen between me and another person.

Not to mention I am not comfortable having dating profiles that could be found or seen by people who know me. I know plenty of people who met people in real life. I have myself. I just want to know what I could be doing to meet someone in real life.

ETA: Fine, I rejoined a dating site since apparently, that's the only choice. *sigh* Too bad I have no idea how to approach people on there.

Live support groups are another option, tho I myself get overwhelmed in large groups. Let us know what happens on the dating site. Roommates are another way to boost self esteem by mitigating loneliness. Trial and error, a learning curve, these are processes u use in your teaching as well.

I don’t really see anything happening with the dating site. I don’t know how to go about it. If I found someone attractive, I wouldn’t know what to say and virtually no one says anything to me. I never know what to say on a profile to make sure I don’t make myself look like a loser. Now, I don’t know what name to even go by...my given name that everyone knows me by or the nickname I’d like to go by but I could never get to happen. And maybe I wouldn’t like it after all. It’s just even my ex wouldn’t use it so I never got a chance to try it out. And someone inevitably asks about pronouns and I don’t know. I just go by whatever people want to call me...I’ve never had enough respect or value to have a choice.

You are a teacher. I was an elementary school teacher and librarian for 16 years in tough schools. We talk and persuade for a living. Stop this “ I dont know what to say” . It just isn’t true for a teacher. Role-play in front of the mirror if you need practice being a bolder person in your personal life. It gets easier. You will really get tougher with practice.
Use the screen name you want, consider it an experiment. Dont use your real name, protect yourself. If you are too shy, fake it til you make it . I went to work unable to think on many occasions due to my disorder, going through the motions, a good enough actor to get through some tough, tough days. Just do it. All teachers are actors when we have a bad day. YOU CAN DO THIS. Try various venues and various approaches until one seems to have promise.That’s what the rest of us are doing between friendships or between relationships. I just realized a certain approach wasn’t working for me and I have to tweak things . That’s just LIFE. Those of us who are trying to make changes in our lives can do this together and report our successes as well as the bumps in the road. It’s a work in progress! Hugs!

I’m only part time because I won’t be certified until December...now I don’t think I can do it. I shouldn’t have even mentioned it. Interacting with kids is way less scary than adults. Most of the time talking to people in real life is way easier than online. I’m sorry I asked for help.

This thread has been closed at the OP’s request.