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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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#1
I thought I'd post this here because only someone who has struggled with their gender identity is going to really understand this.
I'm an old man (AMAB) now. But I've waged a life-long struggle with gender dysphoria. A couple of months ago I was at Target (with my wife) and as we were looking over some cleaning products a young woman (who as I recall) was with another young woman looked over in my direction and said: "I like your outfit." (I was just wearing a pair of cream-colored overalls and, as I recall, a plaid shirt. I also was carrying a blue satchel.) Nothing like that had ever happened to me before. So I was really taken aback & as I recall I don't think I said anything. Hopefully I at least nodded my head and smiled or something. A couple of weeks later I was in the lobby of the office building my pdoc's offices are in heading for my appointment and another young woman came up to me and said: "I like your outfit." (Again I think I was wearing the same overalls, a similar shirt & was carrying the blue satchel.) This time I was at least able to smile and say: "Oh, thank you." Then, yesterday, I was at a thrift store with my wife. And while she was checking out I was wandering around looking at this-&-that when one of the clerks passed me and said: "I like your Fossil bag." (I had swapped my blue satchel for a black Fossil bag. I'll leave out the details as to why I carry these. But it's mostly for practical reasons.) Again I smiled and said: "Oh, thank you." On the one hand these encounters have been charming. But given the fact that I'm ostensibly an old man, albeit one who has waged a life-long gender-identity struggle, they've also felt mildly discomforting as though perhaps some small hint of my gender-related difficulties is leaking through the male image I try to portray to the world. Under any circumstances these 3 encounters have been interesting and I wanted to have the opportunity to share them with someone. So I decided to share them here. (My GID issues are DA / DT at home.) Thanks for reading. |
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Burning Sage, Fuzzybear, mote.of.soul, SprinkL3, Yaowen
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SprinkL3
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 3,618
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#2
That is quite a lot of similar experiences in such a short time. I have no idea, however, what it might mean. I hope you have a happy holiday season. You are one of my heroes here on the Forums and I really look up to you. Wish I knew what else to say.
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Skeezyks
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Fuzzybear, Skeezyks
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Member
Member Since Mar 2022
Location: US - hoping soon back home to PacificNorthwest
Posts: 40
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#3
@Skeezyks - Thank you for your post. Sharing you intimate life experience takes courage and I find that commendable. Embrace it, wise soul.
__________________ Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. - Marilyn Monroe “Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” Carol Burnett .................... Ziprasidone 20mg BID New) Lamotrigine 200mg BID Divalproex 500mg BID (tapering off) Lorazepam 0.05mg as needed Hydroxyzine 10mg for insomnia |
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Skeezyks
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Skeezyks
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
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#4
Thank you Skeezyks for sharing, great post, your openness and honesty is refreshing.
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Skeezyks
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Skeezyks
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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#5
Quote:
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Fuzzybear
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Fuzzybear
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