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zsofi
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Default Oct 01, 2022 at 02:49 PM
  #1
I’m Zsofi. I am 13 years old.
Need help. So far, I've only liked boys, but for a while now, when I think about one of my girl bestfriend, I feel something strange. Maybe I started to like she, but I don't dare admit it to myself?
So. I've been feeling like I can't tell what my gender is for a long time. There was a time when I was "a boy" and there was a time when I thought of myself as a girl. Does this mean I'm genderfluid? I just can't figure out my sexuality. Once upon a time, there was an eighth-grade girl who, when I looked at her, an inexplicable feeling came over me. And I don't know what it was. I often think about what if I liked her, but I didn't dare admit it to myself. Sorry, if the wording is a bit strange, I'm Hungarian and I don't speak English very well.

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Default Oct 01, 2022 at 06:37 PM
  #2
I think your English is very good. So sorry you are struggling with gender issues. It must be so distressing. Wish I knew what to say that would help.

Sometimes it takes time to sort out personal difficulties with gender identity. I hope others here with more knowledge, experience and insight will see your post and respond with something helpful to you.

13 years old was a very difficult time for me and I struggled with so many difficulties so my heart really goes to you. Sorry I do not know how to be helpful. English is difficult for me too.
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Smile Oct 08, 2022 at 02:23 PM
  #3
Hello zsofi: I see this is your first post here on MSF. Welcome! I'm sorry I'm only just now seeing your post. I do hope you're still with us.

I'm sorry you're having difficulty. I myself am an old man now. But I waged a life-long struggle with my own gender identity. (I'll spare you the details.) But, as a result, I feel as though I can sympathize with what you are experiencing.

Actually, I think @Yaowen offered you some excellent advice. Things such as gender identity and sexual orientation can take time to figure out. So I think, at your age, the best advice may simply be to try not to focus or become too concerned with what you are experiencing and see how things develop over the next few years. One's early teenage years can be a very confusing time. Yes, it is true some individuals just know what their gender identity and / or sexual orientation are from an early age. But for others it's not so clear. And when it's not giving it time to become more so is, I believe, the way to go.

Should you wish to pursue this further now though, my suggestion would be to check out a good transgender website such as "Transpulse". There's a forum on Transpulse ("What Am I? I'm Not Sure") specifically for people who are questioning their gender identity. You could join if you wanted to. But you wouldn't have to. You could simply read what others have written there about their experiences and perhaps gain some useful insight. Here's a link just in case you're interested:

Transpulse & TransGender Pulse Forums

My best wishes to you...

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Last edited by Skeezyks; Oct 08, 2022 at 02:40 PM..
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Default Oct 08, 2022 at 02:35 PM
  #4
Hi @zsofi I think your generation realizes that a lot of people can be gender fluid, something that was not really talked about in my generation. When I was your age, there were just two choices, male or female (or the binary). I never really felt female (although my body is female). But I also knew I definitely wasn't male. I have a cousin about your age who identifies as non-binary and uses they/them pronouns. That's something I think describes me as well. I will still respond to she/her pronouns though, because I look so feminine.

I think gender identity is usually figured out long before sexual orientation. But at 13, I don't think you really know who you will end up being sexually attracted to. At that age, I wasn't really interested in anyone.
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Default Nov 02, 2022 at 04:31 AM
  #5
13 years old, you won't yet be fully developed (physically or emotionally), don't worry about your sexuality, at that age its best to focus on your studies to give you the best chance of getting into whatever work you want to do (its not foolproof, some jobs there are too many people going for too few vacancies)

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