brief intro

only that its taken this long to finally prove my point to her that it is indeed genetics i am not souly to blame thats why i have let it all go, that that was an hindrance it is no longer a problem. i regret nothing.

At the risk of sounding particularly challenging, I want to ask/point out something.

Does he have any say in any of this? He is a child. A 12 year old boy who is growing into a young man who should be allowed to have some say in all of this. What rights does he have in the decision that you are making?

I know you say you regret nothing but what about him?

non i am an adult. he is a child. his "rights" will kick in when he turns 18, if he can find me he can speak to me about it then, as an adult.

Vehemently disagree. A child has rights at birth. Whether it is an inconvenience to anyone or not, that young man has rights today. Different rights than at age 18 but rights none the less.

are we supposed to feel impassioned? or shame even? social guilt?, after that little speech? because no, we have done the right thing by walking away. he needs professional help right now, not mine.

it doesnt matter what i do or do not want or even if its what he wants or not, for the first time i agree with his mother, its what he needs

Little speech? That was not a little speech. What that was is me offering something of which you may not have thoughts.

Guilt is a worthless emotion. Social expectations just suck so I won't even go there. I think shame is also a social emotion which is also pointless here. If you feel no passion for parenting or the lifelong well being of this young man, that is fine. I am not going to tell you what to feel. However, I will point out that he is his own person and at some point you may have to face the negative consequences of your actions. Then again, maybe he will move on and not care about you at all. No one knows what the long term outcome will be.

my point exactly. we will deal with it as we see fit then.

any other men with these issues in this forum?

Solitary

You are a private person, not very comfortable in a big group, and view excessive socializing as a waste of time.
You not prefer hanging out with others to spending time alone; you do not tend to feel at home in a crowded room, club, stadium, or auditorium.
Competitive

You'd rather win than simply get along in most situations. When you know you're right, you would rather argue your point than compromise. Generally, those with a high score on the "competitive" trait hold leadership positions in industry and are exhilarated by risk-taking both in their professional and personal lives.
You are not always interested in getting along with others in a group, especially if it can mean losing your identity.
Critical

You have high standards, and aren't shy about it. Some may feel that you are cruel, but "the truth hurts," and you're just the messenger.
You do not hesitate to offer criticism when it is deserved, and you don't necessarily want to hear anyone's excuses for not living up to your standards.
Abrasive

You are accustomed to rubbing people the wrong way; it's simply what happens when you express your opinions. In your opinion, there's nothing wrong with being controversial.
You don't have a "live and let live" attitude when it comes to other people whose opinions clash with yours; you see no reason to give the benefit of the doubt to someone who is just plain wrong.
Cautious

You very rarely make a move without first considering the pros and cons and, therefore, rarely do anything foolish or extravagant.
You are not rash; you almost never act before you think and, therefore, rarely end up doing things you later regret.
Organized

You like to think a task through before you embark on it. If it's the slightest bit complicated, you make a list (even if it's only in your mind) and methodically work your way through it. When you have a goal in mind, you're not satisfied until you reach it.
You are not one of those people who ignore the details, and you don't understand how anyone can get anything accomplished without thoughtful planning ahead of time.
Innovative

You come up with a lot of ideas; if one doesn't work out, there's always another waiting in the wings. You often have interesting solutions to difficult problems. You're practically a one-person brainstorming session.
You are less interested changing the world than in dealing with things as they are. Unlike those who spend all their time trying to solve problems, you prefer to zero in on things that work and stick with them.
Introspective

You like your own company; you're a very interesting person. Tracking your own mental processes, knowing what you're thinking and why you do what you do, is important to you. Often, what's going on in your mind is more compelling than what's going on outside. For the most part, those with a high score on the "introspective" trait enjoy reading, taking long walks, learning new things, and other solitary activities.
You are not someone who is constantly looking to be among a group of friends; you never feel bored when you are by yourself.
Creative

You are good at solving problems, coming up with original ideas, and seeing connections between things, connections that most other people miss. People with a high score on the "creative" trait often are employed in such fields as finance and scientific research, and enjoy avant garde and classical music as well as literary fiction and scholarly non-fiction.
You do not shun abstractions and concepts in favor of the concrete and tangible.
Competent

You strive to master everything you undertake. You tend to learn quickly and do not shy away from challenges.
You are not a "que sera sera" type of person, nor do you go easy on yourself when attempting to master a new skill or get a job done.