26, never any girlfriend

I think humans are much like sea lions. The alpha, bull males are in the central living area with their harems of females, while the beta males are shunted off to the margins. Probably 20% of bachelors date 80% of single females. Most of the single women want a successful, self-confident man. Either be a casanova or be alone. There is not much in between.

Just kidding doc I'm fine with the rule. In truth though I don't understand why they would be able to read the forum if they aren't allowed to post. If the forum is supposed to be discrete then why not make it discrete.

ForeverAloneGuy & qwerty: I don't think that it's terrible to "work on yourself" per se. Theoretically, we should all strive to improve ourselves as human beings. Improving yourself in ways that may make you more attractive to potential mates doesn't sound like a a very noble effort though. Money will make you an instant success w/ a lot of women. Becoming a jerk will make you attractive to a lot of women.
That would be great for your sex life but it won't make you happy and content. At least it shouldn't
When I was young I had women attracted to me simply because of looks. Throughout my adult life I had married women attracted to me for god knows what reason. Neither situation made me happy.
I never found who I was looking for and I don't have any answers that will give you what you seek.
Just strive to be a good person and let what will happen happen.
I wish I had something wiser and more helpful to tell you.

There isn't a cure all advice. Everybody is different.
For some of us the crux our problems is that we believe we're not good enough as we are. Some people mostly do self-improvement to desperately try and find confidence in themselves. Exactly like so many other gym rats these days. You could spend forever molding yourself into what you think will have most women chasing after you. And still not get anywhere with the women you meet. You've no idea what what some people out there find attractive. They will all have their own, individually unique, subjective responses to you. And you can't plan for that. Ever.

This is something that I spend too much time thinking about since I don't even have a life. But it would be nice to not be alone anymore.. and struggle with all these thoughts..
Social isolation was once used as torture. I've been isolated my entire life and have never made a single connection before. Nearly my entire life has been spent as a shut-in. Women have called me a creep and disgusting after only asking if they wanted to drink coffee together. The few I've met who value virginity at my old age eschew me. I'm not religious like they are. They hate me for that. Complete strangers shout profanities out their car window at me. I've never had a social network before. Nobody, not even family to confide in. I'm even isolated from professional aid the few times I actually decided to reach out for help. Crisis lines have hanged up on me in the past, too. Some people find inner strength within themselves and value their alone time. Some people show their love and affection through loyal pets and animals they take care of. Some people just need that small amount of human contact just to get by. But being completely alone has been too suffocating for me no matter how I try to cope. And I'm done trying. I might as well just live the rest of my life as a dependent! There is nothing for me outside.

...
My sincerest apologizes for my previous remarks. My own problems shouldn't be used this way. I did not what to suggest that self-improvement is a bad thing. Or that anyone had somehow gave bad advice. You, arcabgel, and drclyde, are only trying to help. Any help at all is a good thing and it's greatly appreciated. So thank you. It does take an awesome character to do things like that. Don't forget it.

Just disregard what I said. I'm too severely learning disabled for my messages to make sense anyways.

I understood you and I don't see anything you said that calls for an apology.

I am 45yrs old with aspergers and have never had a girlfriend and sex and hate myself. Women on dating sites my age or abit older to me are to well worn. I am looking for someone about 30. When I was younger like in 20s they were'nt interested. I never had a youth.

I think lack of self-confidence has a lot to do with this problem. I have known my fare of not-that-great-looking guys, and those who excel in having self-confidence do end up finding women. Most women can smell lack of self-confidence from miles away, and they tend to turn away when they smell it.

Having some self-confidence doesn't mean you won't get rejected from time to time, but the trick is to keep trying and don't let rejections bring you down. Even if it hurts as hell, you just have to keep your chin up and keep at it.

Just want to let you know that there are so many men out there who have had many girlfriends and still miserable. They feel lonely and inadequate. No one is going to swoop down from the sky and save you. You have to work on yourself before you can work on getting a woman.

To ForeverAloneGuy,
Some of my thoughts on your issue which was furthered quite a bit by the other posts.

I don't think that it's far fetched to say that someone, male or female, can pick up on someone who has a crush on them. Actually, I think it's usually detected easily. That might be putting a potential female friend in an awkward situation. It might even be intimidating if you do not vocalize it somehow. Instead of letting the attraction continue and having it go nowhere---why not take a small aggressive/assertive step to see if she's interested in you. If she's not interested, move on and don't dwell on those hurt feelings.

Related to this is the fact that women, unfortunately for many of us, do seem to value confidence in men. Don't get me wrong--I was anything but confident in general. I think confidence will come with repeated exposure to and constant interaction with women.

I am almost 50 and spent my youth in the indecisive, hesitant area many have been describing when it comes to women. If I had to do it over, I would have forced myself forward, regardless of how inept I came off. A few men I knew said that if they approached 100 women with a stupid come on line, there would be one or two who responded. Who cares about the other 98. It's easier said than done and I never did force myself to do it. I regret it now.

One friend, for unknown reasons, would make a game out of it and approach women just to see if he could get a phone number or email. There was no interest. He was obviously heartless and that's not what I recommend , but I think that type of reckless approach when the woman appears can be beneficial. Yes--it's way easier said than done.

To all who posted similar comments about having great difficulty with getting women--If all of a sudden, one woman does come along and things begin to work, do not SETTLE and believe this is your future wife.

That woman should be the foundation of your new found confidence with women. Do not force the relationship to work. Do not ignore blatant problems in the relationship. Never believe that there is one female on this planet that will tolerate you.

30 years old, divorced the woman described by st406.
Women will only be interested in control, but will never
say so. They foam at the mouth when you go about
changing yourself to make them happy, doesnt mean
women think youre worthy of them. These things(along
with a whole circus of other truths) are why youre not
missing anything a trip to vegas or a massage parlor
cant fix. Also, I quit being a nice guy, be the "jerks"
youve been complained to about. It works for me. I only
wish I had this insight in my teens, but it took a
grueling marriage and repeated disapointment to
find out what was not politically correct enough to
be common knowledge in my young days.

Single is much more butter then engaged.First trust yourself that you can.Improve your self confidence that is the only solution for this problem.

Forget about trying to attract women. You state that you are 'unlovable'. No women wants to be with a guy that thinks of himself like that. You need to change that feeling of being 'unlovable' somehow. I don't know why you think this, but I'm sure you can find the reason why. Like always a therapist could help. I think you'll see when you change and become confident that women will actually approach you.