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Member
Member Since Jun 2011
Posts: 32
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Aug 05, 2011 at 05:08 PM
#1
I've had a crush on a girl for about 6 months or so now.
She just 'went from being "in a relationship" to "single".' and then posted an upset-sounding facebook post. Once I get over fealing guilty and beating myself up about not feeling sympathetic enough. (you don't have to add to that for me, I know) I've already posted a consoling, sympathetic comment on her wall. What does one do next in these situations which is *not* creepy? Yes I already feel bad for her! |
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2005
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Aug 05, 2011 at 08:10 PM
#2
Well, to me, perhaps just that comment is good enough. If you go too quick with it, she may be worried about it, but if you just let her know you are there for her if she wants to talk or something to that effect, that sounds better than continually posting.
I think trying to just be there first and be her friend and work that way and keep working it up would be better than trying to go full force. Best wishes... __________________ Believe you can and you're halfway there.
--Theodore Roosevelt |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2011
Posts: 32
12 |
Aug 06, 2011 at 07:58 AM
#3
When this happed with my last crush I was just her friend never made any move on her even up to the time she found another boyfriend (not me).
Feels like failing due to going too fast it preferable over repeating my earlier fair of going too slow. |
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 DocClyde
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Member
Member Since Jun 2011
Posts: 32
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Aug 08, 2011 at 06:51 PM
#4
She posted a sad song on her Facebook and her ex posted kisses. I think they're going to get back togethor.
I wont get my chance to get this off my chest. 
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 Puffyprue
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DocClyde
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Legendary
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Aug 09, 2011 at 12:03 PM
#5
Well, you can tell her, but if you do too much or say too much she might be freaked out by it--just be forewarned...
Best wishes... __________________ Believe you can and you're halfway there.
--Theodore Roosevelt |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2011
Posts: 32
12 |
Aug 11, 2011 at 02:18 PM
#6
Quote:
I'm worried I'm just going to sit back and she'll find someone else. |
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DocClyde
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Legendary
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Location: Just left of Greenland...
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Aug 11, 2011 at 08:57 PM
#7
I definitely understand the worry about her finding someone else or her reconciling with him...however, if you force it, you run the risk of her thinking you are obsessed with her and her getting worried about you being around her 24/7.
Let some time elapse and just spend some of it with her and just be a friend, but learn more about her and hopefully she will reciprocate with you and you guys can start a good relationship that way. Love relationships or dating relationships are not all about love and dating either, it is sometimes small stuff, like a bag of candy or just doing something you know she will enjoy (*even if its not entirely what you would like*) Best... __________________ Believe you can and you're halfway there.
--Theodore Roosevelt |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2011
Posts: 32
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Aug 12, 2011 at 04:22 PM
#8
Quote:
I did just accompany her to a movie she was desperate to see. We were going to go for drinks afterwards too but she had to cancel on the drinks as something else came up. I didn't say anything about my feelings, just that I'd like to hang out with her again soon. I'm still dying to say something. |
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DocClyde
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Legendary
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Aug 16, 2011 at 12:50 PM
#9
You could tell her you had fun at the movie and would like to hang out with her again...something like that, not much more, or you may run the risk of losing it...
__________________ Believe you can and you're halfway there.
--Theodore Roosevelt |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2011
Posts: 32
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Aug 24, 2011 at 05:10 PM
#10
I don't know how, but somehow I'm going to try to tell her tomorrow as I'll be seeing her then and I can't stand not saying anything. I'm not expecting a positive outcome though.
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DocClyde
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Legendary
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Location: Just left of Greenland...
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19 2,375 hugs
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Aug 24, 2011 at 05:27 PM
#11
Well, you sound bound and determined to do so, so I cant tell you not too, but I would recommend playing it slow.
But, of course, you can do what you want. Hoping for best results for you... __________________ Believe you can and you're halfway there.
--Theodore Roosevelt |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2011
Posts: 32
12 |
Aug 25, 2011 at 06:54 PM
#12
Well I told her. It wasn't as difficult as I thought. She seemed a little embarrassed, but not too much, and not freaked out as I thought she might be. I'm happy I told her.
She said she isn't mentally in the right place after her recent breakup, which is understandable. I explained that I understand, just had to get it off my chest, don't intend to push her and so on... she seemed happy with that and I think we'll probably still be good friends. She didn't explicitly say she's not interested in me though. So, now I'm in the waiting position. I think I'll have to try not to mention the subject, or she'll think I'm pushing it. Maybe I'll give it a month before I let the subject come up again, unless she mentions it first. I somewhat suspect she might not want to talk about it. I'll see her in 3 days time, but that's too soon, so I'm pretty sure I'll just be trying my best to act 'normal'. |
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DocClyde
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Legendary
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Location: Just left of Greenland...
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Aug 25, 2011 at 10:42 PM
#13
Well, that's a lot better than a no, isnt it
 Very cool...like I said, just be her friend and be very supportive and there for her. __________________ Believe you can and you're halfway there.
--Theodore Roosevelt |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2011
Posts: 32
12 |
Aug 28, 2011 at 10:38 AM
#14
Hmm. I met up with her today and of course neither of us mentioned the crush (wasn't expecting either of us to either). I felt she was a little 'distant', less talkative.
I'm not sure if that's just my perception and my over-thinking things, or if she's feeling uncomfortable and trying to pull away from the friendship and stop talking to me? 
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DocClyde
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Legendary
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Location: Just left of Greenland...
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19 2,375 hugs
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Aug 28, 2011 at 09:18 PM
#15
I doubt it could be, but it may very well be. That's part of the reason I wanted you to take it slow, because when you take it slower, women aren't as likely to be worried about you wanting to talk to them, they see you as a friend first, and then you move up the ladder from there.
My answer to your question is the same one I have stated for a while, just take it slow and be her friend. You seem a likable enough guy that if you just give it some time, she will see that too
__________________ Believe you can and you're halfway there.
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Member
Member Since Jun 2011
Posts: 32
12 |
Sep 09, 2011 at 02:20 PM
#16
I saw my friend again and she wasn't really talking to me as enthusiastically as usual. I tried to apologise if I've upset her and she said I'd made her feel awkward and that I should have known better and she needs some space from me.
I don't think we're friends anymore. And I don't think I'll ever tell I another girl I like her. I give up.
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DocClyde
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2005
Location: Just left of Greenland...
Posts: 11,734
19 2,375 hugs
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Sep 09, 2011 at 05:17 PM
#17
I hate to say this, but do what she asked and give her a little bit of time. Don't rush it, just enjoy being friends with her, even if it is a little bit at a time. That's exactly what I meant, and exactly why I didn't recommend you doing so.
But there can be other girls too, that you can look at, and perhaps be friends (and maybe better later on). Don't knock yourself, just breathe and take some time...life may be a race, but you don't have to hurry to the finish line either. 
__________________ Believe you can and you're halfway there.
--Theodore Roosevelt |
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