[GGINN2011]

Hey... 38 year old man here. Was married, now gay, two children, great health issues, worried all the time, ain't feeling like a man anymore.
Can anyone help me understand what i should do? Who do i need to talk to cause i am limited on funds for such things as mental help, but i feel i could really use it... Too many problems and don't know how to deal.

[DocClyde]

Hello GGINN2011 and welcome to PsychCentral! Is there any possibility of a physical health problem? I know you say that there is not, but that is usually what they will recommend that you have checked first, just to make sure--a physical check up.

What are the things that worry you? Is it the issues with the children, and your ex-wife?

You can check and see if there are clinics near you that offer sliding scales (cheaper fees depending on how much you can pay), or even check this site, and others for telepsychiatry--therapy over the internet or by phone or by email.

Tell us more about your worries and why you are feeling the way you are...and welcome again...

[GGINN2011]

Originally Posted by docclyde

hello gginn2011 and welcome to psychcentral! Is there any possibility of a physical health problem? I know you say that there is not, but that is usually what they will recommend that you have checked first, just to make sure--a physical check up.

What are the things that worry you? Is it the issues with the children, and your ex-wife?

You can check and see if there are clinics near you that offer sliding scales (cheaper fees depending on how much you can pay), or even check this site, and others for telepsychiatry--therapy over the internet or by phone or by email.

Tell us more about your worries and why you are feeling the way you are...and welcome again...

what worries do i have?... I will try and list them...
1-my brain won't stop, worrying all the time about everything from food for the day to world issues like the economy.
2-i'm afraid of talking to my doctor about all of these feelings i've got because i am afraid it may be something horrible.
3-i am afraid of being a real *** to people for no reason; and then realizing what i had done hours, sometimes weeks later.
4-i hate being around people- i am not social at all except with my children or my partner... I won't leave my house unless i have to do something in particular like food shopping or getting my kids to and from school... Doctor visits too.
5-i do not sleep well at all... Maybe on average of 4-5 hours a night if that some days.
6-i sometimes feel i just want to go away or well rather just disappear- not sucidial though.
7-my physical problems range from type 1 diabetes to diabetic reitnapthy in both eyes to cad and the placement of three heart stents the beginning of this year, plus doctors cant figure out if i have pbc or not... Gave me one diagnosis and then took it back and then cant figure it out.
8-my brain never stops- always thinking, always worrying, always trying to figure things out.
9-i go to the store to try and do something and then something happens and everything changes- i have to get out and get away from people.. From everything because they start freaking me out.
10-i used to be full of life and now, i just can't anymore- physically and mentally
11-i feel like my mood swings affect everyone that i am around like my partner, family and my children... It scares me sometimes how i react.
12-i hate hate hate the way our world is going- all the dissolution with everything from technologies to government, to living... Communities just arent making any sense to me.
13-i dont feel in control of my own life- i always feel like people take and make me do things or be a certain way. My own reactions, actions and processes arent even my own... Way it feels
14-i constant act like everything is fine when inside it is killing me- talking about when i see people like my doctors or other family like my mother, dad, brothers sisters, aunts and what not.

I know its alot, but this is just the main things that i am facing each and every day. I feel like a whimp that cant take it... Like a big baby when i try, and have tried so hard to make things better and always, always come up short. I hate asking for help, but i truly feel it is affecting every aspect of my life- especially not being able to bring myself to leave my house... To enjoy what there is out there to enjoy. All is good like in the evenings when i plan on what i think i can do.. Then- the next morning, it is all back to the worry and what feels like suffering- both physically and mentally
appreciate your help though- any advice would be appreciated!

[DocClyde]

Well, it does definitely sound like there is a chance you do have some issues that do need addressing, and I would recommend a therapist, but of course, you might want to see what all your medical doctors say first.

I'll ask you this, and don't take offense, because I am just wondering how you are feeling--but do you feel that going from being married with children to being gay with children may have had some emotional affect as well--I mean, the stress of not being married anymore and worrying about the kids, and visitation and like?

Also, don't feel like you are a wimp about these issues--mental health issues are just as bad (sometimes even more so) than a medical health issue--and you wouldn't feel like a wimp because you cut your leg off accidentally and went to the hospital, now would you?

Life is really a huge collection of episodes and how we deal with them makes out how our life ends up--you must take care of yourself and not worry about feeling "wimpy" or worrying about what others think--your kids need you to be the strong supportive dad you have always been, and I am sure your partner would as well.

Best...