Help please, I'm sexually obsessed with my ex

Hypersonic · Sep 22, 2011 at 06:45 PM

I've been divorced for a year and I'm still sexually obsessed with my ex-wife. She has no interest in me and there's zero chance that We will ever be together again but I cannot stop thinking about having sex with her.

Sep 22, 2011 at 09:13 PM

Have you tried meeting someone else?

Sanada · Sep 27, 2011 at 08:08 PM

Hi Hyper. I go through the same thing. I not only want to be close to my ex sexually but also together as we were when we met. We were together 10 years. We had a lot of tragedy that pushed us apart so splitting was inevitable. She met someone else and moved on, I was left kinda in a daze for years (and I still am in a daze). I dream of her which really ticks me off. I wake up thinking she is beside me and in the dreams I always ask her that when I wake up will she be there. In the dreams she always says 'yes'; I wake, alone feeling like I'm in hell. I have met other women but they do match her in the way she thought, so I am constantly looking for a replacement. I know that I will never be able to move on till I have found that perfect other again.
It really annoys me that I'm stuck on that merry go round. I do have faith that I will meet another that not only matches her, but surpasses her in many ways. Then I know for sure that I will have moved on.

The only advice I could give you is to keep looking for the perfect replacement, they are out there (the fish in the sea to coin a phrase). Its just a matter of persistence and faith. Now I tell my ex when she turns up in my dreams to go away (not so polite though, cause its causing chaos with my happiness).

Its rather strange that another friend of mine went through the same thing. I was telling him what was going to happen before it happened....funny. He is now though very happy in another relationship.

I hope this helped in any way.

DocClyde · Sep 28, 2011 at 09:11 PM

I agree, but I would not look for a "perfect replacement" for a few reasons: You don't really want someone perfect

and the next person shouldn't be a replacement, they should be themselves.

Have you tried talk therapy?

Sanada and unhappyguy are right though--perhaps just joining a club, or a social thing, or even looking around at those who are near you already--you can find someone who can help you get your mind off of her.

I feel (and of course, I could definitely be wrong) that part of this is because you feel you need her to be there to complete you--but in reality, you make yourself strong by what you do, not what someone else does.

Best,

Lightrail11 · Mar 08, 2012 at 01:50 PM

Relationships, particularly intimate sexual relationships, aren't something that most of us get over quickly. A year may seem like a long time but in the scheme of things it really isn't. Your sexual thoughts about her are understandable, particularly if the sex was good and wasn't part of the reason for the split.

I agree with the other posters, try some other social outlets, even if it isn't an active hunt for a new intimate partner; life happens, a new partner may come along soon, or not, but either way it may give you something else to help you get over these thoughts.

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Help please, I'm sexually obsessed with my ex

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Hypersonic New Member Member Since Sep 2011 Location: Texas Posts: 1 13	Sep 22, 2011 at 06:45 PM #1 I've been divorced for a year and I'm still sexually obsessed with my ex-wife. She has no interest in me and there's zero chance that We will ever be together again but I cannot stop thinking about having sex with her.

Anonymous37913 Guest Posts: n/a	Sep 22, 2011 at 09:13 PM #2 Have you tried meeting someone else?