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New Member
Member Since Jun 2008
Posts: 2
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Apr 07, 2012 at 06:00 PM
#1
I'm writing this as a 7 year romantic relationship is dissolving, and without going into too much detail, I feel as if I've looked for validation from her and from the relationship.
It has been said many times that we should care for ourselves and love ourselves first and foremost. I have to admit that I don't know exactly what that means. Or more specifically, what are examples of those behaviors and mindsets? I think I've felt best when I have done something for others. And I'm sure that behavior was in large part to bring validation to myself. I'm about to start living entirely on my own for the first time in almost 30 years, and I could sure use some tips on giving myself that kind of affirmation. Last edited by zigbar; Apr 07, 2012 at 07:37 PM.. |
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 anonymous112713, mommyof2girls, RTerroni
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 dailyhealing, Internal War, Numbed
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Apr 08, 2012 at 08:46 AM
#2
I’ve never understood what it means to love oneself first for a relationship to be successful either. What I think it means is that…I don’t know. I thought I had something there. Would love to read what others have to say to this too
  
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Jun 03, 2012 at 01:53 AM
#3
"Loving yourself," to the extent of my knowledge, means to accept and be okay with yourself. To rephrase, to be happy with being you.
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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: Greenville, SC
Posts: 7
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Sep 30, 2012 at 12:40 AM
#4
I'm going to second what Kam$$! said. The one thing that makes me part of a happily married couple is the fact that we are two complete individuals, who choose to be together.
Loving yourself is simply accepting who you are, and having a sense of self worth that is not dependent on the other person. |
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2005
Location: Just left of Greenland...
Posts: 11,734
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Sep 30, 2012 at 06:08 PM
#5
That is the way I took it as well.
Treat yourself well and respectable and people will know you love yourself. __________________ Believe you can and you're halfway there.
--Theodore Roosevelt |
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2007
Location: Durham,nc
Posts: 5,431
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Sep 30, 2012 at 06:49 PM
#6
I agree it is much harder from a point of low self worth to maintain a relationship. Loving yourself is a building block to being confident to be open and honest with the one you happen to be with. Short of that, there always be a sense of holding back something which can be harmful in any long term relationship
I still struggle with this one myself, my wife has the patience of Job but I still often dislike myself and rarely ever feel worthy of her or anyone else's love. |
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| anon19529
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DocClyde
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA
Posts: 1,957
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Oct 06, 2012 at 04:50 PM
#7
Quote:
__________________ The world suffers alot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.- Napoleon Bonaparte |
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Dec 19, 2012 at 01:30 PM
#8
Well I would have to say that I fail at loving myself because I actually don't like myself at all. I guess this is why I'm still single and never have a relationship work. I don't know how to really accept anything about myself so I just gave up I guess at some point a long time ago and just live day by day. I hope you guys have much more motivation then me to figure it out and not give up with trying to get better
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| Anonymous32855
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Member
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 207
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Feb 12, 2014 at 03:23 AM
#9
Man, I feel ya!
Wish I could help...but I loathe myself!!!! |
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| Webgoji
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Member
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 112
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May 14, 2014 at 03:23 PM
#10
Ah, if only I could finish writing the book i've started on this subject, maybe I could read it, and take my own advice, instead of helping others before myself to negative results.
Harley47 is right, about putting your priorities first. Taking time in the day, just for yourself, to relax as well, is something I am becoming more and more aware of (because i'm becoming more and more in need of, lol) Healthy boundaries as well. Don't ask me to expand on that one xD I think part of it might be taking some time now and then to "love your inner child". Not got into that topic in depth yet though, but sounds about right. |
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Elder
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 5,751
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May 16, 2014 at 04:52 PM
#11
I think that you need to love yourself before you can love anyone else.
__________________ COVID-19 Survivor- 4/26/2022 |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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