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| View Poll Results: Is it OK for a 45 year old man to date a 20-year-old woman? | ||||||
| Yes |
   
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38 | 45.78% | |||
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| No |
  
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45 | 54.22% | |||
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| Voters: 83. You may not vote on this poll | ||||||
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New Member
Member Since Apr 2012
Posts: 2
12 |
Apr 27, 2012 at 09:07 PM
#1
Is it OK for a 45 year old man to date a 20-year-old woman?
Why or why not? I would prefer a professional therapist's thoughts, but I also welcome input from anyone. |
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Infamous Vampire Duck
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Apr 30, 2012 at 02:11 PM
#2
It's sort of a grey area, there are some very clear issues with it, but that doesn't automatically make it wrong. But just make sure you are both going into this with open eyes, and the realization that the age difference will cause some ongoing problems, but every relationship has issue, at least this is one you can recognize it and be ready to deal with it from the start.
__________________ “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi |
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2007
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May 05, 2012 at 04:07 AM
#3
I agree that there is no definate right or wrong in the global sense to the question. It really comes down to the individual folks in the relationship. Sometimes it can work, sometimes it is an invitation for major problems.
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Junior Member
Member Since May 2012
Posts: 10
11 |
May 22, 2012 at 08:00 PM
#4
Age gap may really result to problems on long term relationship. Difference in age
has different insights to life. Problems may not be surfacing on the early stage of relationship but sooner or later you'll notice the issues of your partner towards you or issues on yourself towards your partner... Working out the relationship still is the best way...that is if the two of you really is into it.... |
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May 26, 2012 at 05:11 AM
#5
I've dated a woman in my life who was 19 years my junior and one 17 years my senior. And a few in between give or take 5/10 years either way. It really wasn't that different. If it's a mutually respectful relationship and her kin isn't forming a lynch mob then it's fine. Granted it's probably a rare thing to see a 20yr old young lady with a 45 yr old guy. If that rarity is a genuine loving attraction who's to deem it improper? I'm sure it happens once in a while for the right reasons. More power to 'em in those cases.
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Member
Member Since May 2012
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Sep 20, 2012 at 10:52 PM
#6
I've heard of many cases where relationships similar to that work out. As long as it isn't over wealth or status(as love should never be) then it should be acceptable. The girls in my class on the other hand consider an age difference of three years to be utterly disgusting though.
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smiling musical soul
Member Since Mar 2010
Location: Indy
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Sep 21, 2012 at 12:57 AM
#7
Women not allowed to post in Men's Forum.
Sorry, DocClyde Last edited by DocClyde; Sep 22, 2012 at 05:30 PM.. |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: Georgia
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Sep 21, 2012 at 02:14 AM
#8
Women not allowed to post in Men's Forum.
Sorry, DocClyde __________________  I am happy, sad, angry, ecstatic, scared, confident, optimistic, pessimistic, anxious, calm, incredulous, confused, in control, overwhelmed.. pick 1.
Last edited by DocClyde; Sep 22, 2012 at 05:30 PM.. |
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Sep 21, 2012 at 04:20 AM
#9
Quote:
I was 30 and thought I was pretty smooth...shocked and disappointed I was! at all this. she had issues with her father...hadn't seen him in years and years. Mr 48 yr old had issues with his daughter...whatever they were...'didn't want to know'...just that he hadn't seen her for years and years not sayin' this is whats happening...not for you I just could not separate them.....threats to him...abandoning her to get her to respond!....nothing worked ...or it could be that you both just really like each other alot. affection does not need the "considered to be right" setting sometimes |
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Member
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: Florida/Space Coast
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May 01, 2013 at 01:26 PM
#10
I'd LOVE to have a 20 year old(or 30 year old)! But on a semi serious note, if it works and there aren't any psychological pathologies lurking beneath the surface of either person, enjoy the ride.
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Grand Member
Member Since Jun 2011
Posts: 837
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May 01, 2013 at 11:27 PM
#11
The range of years from 18 to 21 really does cause a big change in a person. Once she gets past those years, establishes a residence, begins a career, and starts to get a sense of who she is in the world then it could work. The problem with it at age 20 is that if she hooks up with a 45 year old who has already arranged for the basics then she might be tempted to skip doing things for herself. She might miss out on this and have trouble making up for it later on if something happens to the relationship. For a relationship to be a true partnership, both people must be on equal footing.
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 bighands, cybermember, PinesofRome
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New Member
Member Since Jun 2013
Posts: 4
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Jun 04, 2013 at 10:57 PM
#12
Well its totally fine but if you look closer it could be highly possible from what you explain you might be co dependent and get satisfaction of taking care of these girls. It also might be true that these girls you're attracting never had a father figure in there life and need to feel "needed" (a lot of times through being promiscuous) . If you understand these unconscious behaviors and pinpoint the actions you will be better off if this does sound like something you might have related too. burplekush
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Phreak
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New Member
Member Since Jul 2013
Posts: 6
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Jul 11, 2013 at 10:14 PM
#13
Fifteen years ago I was separated from my wife, and I moved into a small enclave of townhouses. All of the occupants were younger than me, but I made friends with all of them and ended up in a relationship with one of them.
She was 22, a beautiful girl from Sarajevo. God, was smitten. I spent money like it was nothing. I was at the bars with her all night; I was always coming in late for work. Finally she broke my heart like I didn't know it was possible to be broken. I committed suicide, wound up in a mental ward and was fired from my job. The upside is that my wife and I got back together. We've been married for 23 years. Not long after that she married a guy, a young guy. A girl that age is ultimately going to want a strong young man closer to her age. It's nature. I say, why complicate your life? I say no. __________________ Call me J Last edited by darkpurplesecrets; Jul 12, 2013 at 01:47 PM.. Reason: added trigger icon... |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: Brooklyn
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Jul 17, 2013 at 08:31 PM
#14
It is definitely okay. A relationship always has its problems and if you both can work through yours and are okay with each other and your relationship then it's all okay.
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Aug 06, 2013 at 10:31 AM
#15
Why is it not okay? I find it weird that the majority of people think there's something wrong with two adults dating eachother.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2013
Location: Wichita, Ks
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Aug 08, 2013 at 11:07 AM
#16
In my opinion, is it okay? Sure. I just don't know what a 45 year old man would have in common with a 20 year old woman.
I'm 40 and there's a girl here at work that's 25. She rarely has a clue what I'm talking about because she wasn't there for the days of Romper Room or Saturday Cartoons or when TV wasn't 24 hours a day. So just in my opinion, it would drive me crazy trying to communicate with someone that young. |
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Member
Member Since Oct 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 22
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Oct 31, 2013 at 05:58 PM
#17
On another note that no one appears to have mentioned is that most 45 year old men that date 20 year old women are usually very wealthy and have much to offer a young lady who is truly to young to be secure in herself yet. At 37 I've often imagined myself with a beautiful young lady like the ones I used to date because I still remember the playful fun times I've shared with them in the past. I personally don't see anything wrong with it simply because I'm still a young minded fella who still rides dirt bikes, surfs and has a skateboard halfpipe in my back yard that I ride, i'm not ready to grow old yet.
__________________ Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. |
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Member
Member Since May 2011
Location: PA
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Dec 08, 2013 at 06:08 PM
#18
I second Webgoji. However, I once dated a woman older than me whose parents never let her watch TV or movies when she was a kid. She never got any of my humor about The Brady Bunch or movies and other pop culture from the late 70's and 80's... and she was 44 at the time. I guess 44 going on 20. We didn't last but not for that reason alone by far.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2013
Location: NYS
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Dec 09, 2013 at 02:21 AM
#19
I'm of the opinion that it really is case by case and more important then the obvious age gap, the maturity level is more important. Women in general mature faster then most men. And it's possible a 45 year old man is more like a 25 year and the 20 year old female could be more like a 30 year old female. When I was 51 I had a 22 year old girl madly in love with me. As much as I was flattered and tempted to indulge in this because damn she was sooo hot, she was not very mature at all and acted more like 16 so I had to pass. So you see it's not as easy as a yes or no.
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Member
Member Since Dec 2013
Location: Florida
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Feb 02, 2014 at 11:04 AM
#20
I had many sexual fantasies about Michael C Hall. He's 43 now and I'm 21.
I would date him. But like another member said, it's in the grey area. __________________ Schizoaffective Disorder Depressive Type Meds: 200mg Lamictal Blog; deeronjepsuhn.tumblr.com Vlog; tinyurl.com/dmjvlog |
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