Why was I born on this earth such a failure.

Basically an accident in the first place, my face and body are physically unappealing and my mind is ugly. Scarred with depression from over a decade of being outcasted by everyone. I was always the kid that got picked on, always made fun of, I would try to be "cool" but to no avail.

Never had a decent conversation with a women, never had a girlfriend, have no sense of flirtiness, my social anxiety keeps me in my room no lifing video games. I don't even know if I fear intimacy because I've never had the chance to get to that point, but running situations in my head I feel like I would be afraid of contact.

I like to lift weights and play basketball, but you could only do that so much. Right now I have a badly pinched muscle in my back from basketball, so I can't even enjoy the things that I love doing.

They say "Keep doing you and the women will come." Lol ok, I'll keep doing what I do but when I'm 40 ill probably be in the same situation I am in now, crippled and depressed without any partner and probably without any experience with women.

Why was I put on this earth to just be a barnacle on the side of a ship.

Hello, Memphos finest. Have you talked to a professional about this? You are very down on yourself. Getting professional help is worth a shot.

Eh you're no failure. I had the same problems you have. The biggest thing is your outlook. Maybe people just told you all these bad things about yourself and you believed them. That's really easy to do. But thinking you're a failure because you don't have a girlfriend or because you have social anxiety isn't right either because you base your self-worth on other people instead of who you are as a person. Who you are as a person is what counts. Feeling better about yourself is really key. Relationships should be pursued as something to add on to life and not something to "fill a hole."

Don't try to be something you're not. You'll end up being something you don't intend to be. I'm not sure why that is but it always ends in the worst way possible so just don't do that. Try to find your own interests right now and find things to enhance your life. That is much more important than getting a girlfriend right now. You have to come first. As long as you have doubts about yourself social anxiety is going to be rough. But that's the key to getting better. Working on that anxiety and pulling up that self-esteem goes a really long way. You may not completely rid yourself of it and that's pretty normal. As long as you can find ways to start liking yourself things will get better.

Memphos finest,
You sound so much like me, it's scary I have the same issues. You really aren't alone in this.

I would love to be able to tell you the magic trick to feeling better, but I don't know it! What I would say is to try to think of the positives.

I don't know you, so all I have to go on is your post, but a couple of positives that jump out are:

1. Your body probably isn't as unappealing as you think. You play sport and lift weights, although I appreciate your back is stopping that at the moment.
2. You have a good heart. I know there's nothing in your post about this, but when you do find yourself a lady, you're not going to mistreat her because you've had to wait and will appreciate her.

As Mudcrab said, you are being hard on yourself. Possibly because you don't have your normal sporty outlet so everything is getting on top of you. Do you work? Are there any social outlets via work or maybe your mates you can try to use to ease the social anxiety? You may not meet anyone directly at first, but small steps like that may help.

Also don't discount a therapist. I've never been to one myself, but a friend has for a different reason and has said they befitted greatly. I'm close to that step myself now, but lack the funds at the present time.

Good luck. I hope that helps a little.

Well I workout 4 days a week and play basketball regularly, but I used to be nearly 300 pounds so my whole body is full of sagging skin and looks really badly.

I wish I could put more effort into life, but my depression keeps me from really doing anything, I can't even count the times where I'd lock myself in my room and just cry for hours on end, my eyes are tearing as I type this. I always feel a gaping hole in my stomach because I was born so much less fortunate than everyone else.

I work, but it's in a kitchen with minimal contact with regular people, I basically only know the employees there and the manager, but I come in with headphones in most days so I don't have to talk to anyone. My life has been riddled with panic attacks and depression since I was young. Why me?

I've been having recent thoughts of dropping out of college, simply because it's useless to go now. I have a 2.1 GPA and there's no way in hell i'm making it into graduate school or even getting a job off a bachelors. "There's a chance, people with low GPA's get jobs all the time"... Yeah those other people with much better social skills, nonexistent anxiety, and no depression issues. I can't even hold eye contact with my very few good friends, that's how bad my anxiety is.

I don't even know why I had to be born, to struggle day in and day out, cry myself to sleep every night, and think that everything will get better tomorrow. It never does, and probably never will.

Who do you play basketball with?

Who ever is at the courts when I go there

That sounds like fun, and it also sounds like you do have a bit of confidence, which is required in approaching strangers to have a game of basketball with them.