prostate cancer

Monday 6:30 am will catch up

Well here it is a few weeks later and now have all those pretty books about choices
Which decision to make or what do I like doing the most bedroom activities or getting old then losing.
Young with a chance
Old and forgotten

Ok so jump forward to 2018
And I found psych central once again
And if anyone has been following this story or" thread"
You should know if you thought a t3 and MRI cat scans and void clinics were bad to get ready for the sarcastic ray of sunshine.

Now Jan '18 and the weeks before I get the surgeons booking
But now a t7
Radiation ruled out so the only option left. getting it removed.

Already have most of the side-effects
Sorry if I never got back or replied to anyone

Mentally this has drained me
Forgetting things being just lost

My journey continues

I just read this entire thread. I'm sorry I've not been able to follow your journey from its start, but really respect you for putting your feelings & thoughts here. I may sound like an arse for writing this, but your writings have probably helped a lot of people who might be facing physical adversity. It did me. This is nothing compared to what you're going through, but I was just diagnosed with glaucoma. It would be easy to feel sorry for myself, but your writings really helped me - your facing adversity & being able to deal with it. I'm sorry about your concernes about not being able to perform anymore but, believe me, you're more than a "man" for sharing your journey here. Thanks.

Thank you emgreen.
Sometimes just writing how the feelings you have down come out in an informative or rational fashion. other times it may just be ramblings of a scared person trying to make it through life.
sometimes we don't put half the stuff out there as well.

And sometimes we don't deal with it at all and those are the missing parts

And now I have the letter with my name on the theatre list
.years of wait and watch ended at last
I suppose its a good thing.
We shall see .

Good luck, daggy.

So here I still sit in 2018.
5 years down the track and going back to the start of this thread I just want to thank all those that took the time to comment or the contribution of their stories.
I can see the pattern that emerged over time that has to lead to this point in time. Sorry about all the typos but you miss those sorts of things when you are on a roll and the words come out faster than the eye can see.
(Words from an uneducated hand)

So now as stress and anxiety take over for the next few weeks I thought I would just review some of my rambles to find the pattern the doctors don't worry telling you about in the beginning or you just don't want to hear.
All the pain in the pelvis and the kidney infection didn't really help or the up and down of the PSA and then the up.
The biopsy certainly didn't help anything but confirm what everyone knew.
The good news is I have scored a professor to do the surgery.

So now I wait for the date and the paperwork to go through.
And try and see the bits on here I can put together to calm my hands and soul till then

Thanks for reading .

Stay strong daggy 💪🏼

Despite the PSA & biopsy results, it sounds like you're managing to keep grounded. I'm glad you were able to score a professor to do your surgery. I recently had shoulder surgery (small potatoes, but controversial due to its relative lack of success). Since I also had a professor preform my surgery, the results were amazing. I hope you have the same experience. Keep posting to let us know how things are moving along.

Stress is really having an influence greater than what I would like.
And still, the waiting continues.
I shall I fear be a ball of jelly soon.
I don't have any male friends which make it worse.
Very lovely.
Thanks for all the support .

Ok got the dates.

Thought I would feel relieved but just lost
The only thing is I am a bit superstitious on numbers
I was born 1961 1st in the ninth
My kids 11/11
9/9
Now the date of my op is 4/4

Have 2 weeks to get the results of final blood

Now it seems I have to fit into everybody else plans
Lucky its Easter holidays then.
Nobody will notice any of this I can guarantee.
Everyone keeps saying its nothing
Having someone take a part of you out is a weird feeling but to take such a diseased part and leave you with a gamble of life or happiness or being that man is all elementary now.
I will be given what I deserve.
Maybe I will feel different after the latest blood come back.
The story is nearly changed .

Ok and now the final blood result has come in and the winning number is 4.5
Up .9 so if I didn't know already and what people are starting to realise now is that
I have cancer and its just going to affect them ..how???

The best indignity so far was overhearing

"So you won't be having sex then?"
Overheard my neighbour asking my wife.

The ideas and dream to get things done beforehand are over.
Did I mention I did my shoulder I as well so that needs an op as well?

And Feb hasn't finished.

To say that a broken rib is a better outlook or result for the day would be a gross understatement indeed.
It seems that as March has started with such a band and doesn't look like slowing down .( i hope). the doctors thought and hoped it hadn't spread but now they are not so sure.
I am the sort of person to have a wake while I'm still here or at least an orgy.
( don't deny a person's last request)
Even if it is a pipe dream
It keeps me going instead of curling up in a ball.
It is a scary thing to go through .
To be continued . for a while yet

Ok down to the last 3 weeks now and wouldn't you know it had to go and turn itself into a serious cancer . on the scale of bad things it is right up there.
The other glorious news . I have torn the tendons in my left shoulder
Nobody is really talking about both
This is where I get to walk alone .
Happy days

Sorry for typo

So 2 weeks to go and so far the mental ride is over . it has all gone like I had imagined.
Nobody really cared and once again everything is about everyone else.
I have given up on support so I must fight the fears and do it by myself.

At least I have scored some good medical staff to do the job.
The only trouble is the little horror is getting worse and growing faster the closer the date rolls around.
Then on top of everything I don't get sick all year but the flu is circling .
On top of everything else or have I used that phase 'on top of everything else '
To many times?
We will see

So last app with therapist for awhile .
Everything was find and dandy with me dodging the final question of death options if it all went wrong .
Don't fret
After I got home the 4 blank lines made sense.
It's not that I am afraid of death ( anyone that tells you they are not is lying in the end)
What the last 4 lines under options were rather the death of how life is now as to how I will handle life aftwards.
So either way I have settled that question.
More to follow
But its not long now

Today , the day before surgery (if i make it.. had to give sample late yesterday to see im sick or not )
If you can think of something to go wrong ..it has
Even trying just to sit and do nothing is wrong
The psychological fight im losing as well
I am down to a world of IFs
If the car goes
If the blood comes back ok
If i get the ok
If they take it all out
Even at this late date i can only see up to there.
And still in the background all i can hear is " there is nothing to worry about everybody does it. You will be fine"

I dont think they have had to face it
Most things i have heardhave been form men with enlarged prostrates . Not cancer at such a young age.

This has been a great help

Thankyou for the replies and advice .