Too fat and Ugly to get a girlfriend

I have to masturbate since I am 32 and never had a girlfriend.I am to0 fat and ugly to have a girlfriend.I never had a girl that I know of to think I was attractive or wanted to be with me so I don't even try.I don't know what I would need to go or do to get one.I don't know of any bars or clubs in my town to go to and I have too much anxiety and shy to go up to a her anyways.I stay at home 99 percent of the time since I have no job.I have zero friends.I feel like I am some loser.I am 6 ft tall and 310 lbs so I would feel really awkward going up to a woman and think that I would actually have a chance with her.I dont even like myself how can I ask a someone to like me.People say that I don't want it enough which I don't understand why they say that cause I really want it more than anything I just don't think anyone would want me.There is nothing about me that someone would want.

Well, the attitude is the first problem. Sorry to be blunt, lose it. Stop hating yourself, it doesn't help. I have been where you are, feeling totally undesirable. There really is someone for everyone, your personality and your interests make you as much who you are as does your appearance.

I think you will have to do a lot of work on yourself, but you can do it, you can get there if you are willing to put in the effort and time. Remake yourself, reboot, turn yourself into Version Krisjack 2.0.

Try asking people you know if there is anyone they know who would be interested in going out with you.

Good luck.

I agree with everything MotownJohnny said. To change, Krisjack81, it requires a better attitude and the unwavering, unshakable desire to make yourself into the person you want to be. Take baby steps, if it helps. In other words, don't try to change everything about yourself that you see as undesirable, just start off with one or two things you want to change. Don't give up and work on your self confidence. That is one thing that I have found women really like, and it does make a difference. Good Luck.

It don't matter if I change or not.It don't matter what I do there is nobody out there for me and even if there is I won't never find it.I highly doubt someone will knock on my door and ask me out.I highly doubt someone would walk up to me cause there is no way I can walk to someone.I dont think 32 year old does that.20 year olds do it.Love for me is a waste of emotion and feeling cause no woman will ever feel the same way about me.I have no friends so I don't go out or anything like and I wouldn't know where to go if I wanted to.Its not easy making a life for yourself at 32.I don't think its possible.There is nothing about me to be confident about.

Have you tried to reach out and make friends with anyone ? Why do you feel it is not possible to make a life at 32? and what do you mean there is no way you can walk to someone ?

Well I don't need a gym membership as my living room looks like a gym now.I am currently starting on week 4 of Focus T25 which is by Shaun T whom created Insanity.

People say be confident and learn to like yourself or whatever but I never felt any of that before so I wouldn't know how to begin to feel it.I just don't think there is anything about me to like or feel confident in.My 16 year old step sister rated my personality few months ago as 8.7 so I guess thats good.I thought she was gonna say 2.0 or something.To answer the above I don't go out.I haven't had a friend since the one I had back in 2001.He went behind my back and dated a girl I liked and he stole from me so I stayed away from him.I just dont like going out cause it feels weird.When u just stay at home 99 percent of the time and then go shop at walmart or something it feels weird and I feel like people are looking at me and making fun of me. I just think if I make a friend that they would just use me since I can be to trusting in people sometimes.Like I said before I don't go out to bars and stuff I mean I wouldn't know where to go and besides younger people do that not 32 yrs olds.I dont think people like me and my age can make friends or anything cause most people my age has enough friends as it is probably.I just don't try cause I just don't want all the drama and crap that goes along with it and I don't want to feel love again cause for me its a waste of feeling and make me miserable since everyone I ever liked rejected me and I assume the reason they didn't like me was maybe they think I was ugly or weird or different or whatever.I mean I haven't asked a girl out since 2001.I just feel like I am a chick repellant so I don't feel like its worth trying to get a girlfriend.Every girl that I liked probably didn't give a **** about me.I was in grade school or just graduated the last time I liked someone.I graduated school in 1999.I dont have a job.I havent worked in about 3 years and I live with my mom and step dad which I am sure chicks really dig that.I dont own a car and I live in rural south Georgia so there is no public transportation around here.

No I don't need a therapist.Some people may think so but I don't and I don't think it would help.I mean its not like he is going to make me blind and not see me.I have been called ugly 2000 times or more and I have told that I am not 5 times probably by people not related to me.When u are told that ur the most ugly person in the whole school or whatever u start believing that ur ugly.I never had self esteem.I mean people say they have low self esteem as least they have some cause I feel like I have zero.Like I said I have no reason to.The only way I can change is if I change bodies and that is not ever possible so I am stuck with this.

You won't like this, it may offend you. I am only going to say this because I have been in places where it felt hopeless. Like it could never get better.

It's not hopeless. It can get better. You just have to want it more than you wanted anything in your life, because it will be the hardest thing you ever do. Your choice, be a winner or be a quitter.

And yes, a therapist would help you a lot. Consider contacting community mental health or other agencies in your area and see what they can do for you.

You can choose to believe this or not, but I know what I am saying, been there done that as they say. Weight, depression, isolation, anxiety. It can be fixed with hard work and perserverance.

You're supposed to do online dating if you're anti-social.

I cannot afford online dating and I wouldn't know where to begin.I kinda tried but when I would try to speak to someone I guess they see how fat and ugly I am and not respond or they do respond and then I respond back and never hear from them again.I hear people meet on Facebook but I dont how they do that.Just because something worked for one person dont mean it will work for me.People have said that things will get better and all that but all it has done is get worse.So I just ly in bed or workout 25 mins a day and lay in the rest of they day.I am trying to lose weight by working on with Focus T25 which is a Fitness program.I cannot afford to go to a mental place since I have no job.Long time ago I tried to get ssi or whatever and went to a mental health clinic and had this guy that was seemed very rude to me so I had to change docs.He was like do u touching yourself u know fondling yourself.He made me uncomfortable so I never wanted to to back to him so I asked to change but then after like 2 trys to ssi I quit.They seemed like I was scheming them to get money.

online dating is free

Okcupid.com
pof.com
oasisactive.com

etc.

if what you really want is to be thin an attractive then go get it. be pro active to make a better tomorrow. exercise like cardio to burn fat and lift weights help with this. being overweight is not permanent. hey if you really truly hate how you look then just bite the bullet and get plastic surgery...if you're sure.

25 minutes a day? Kudos for doing something but you are not working so you can devote more time than that. Also, it won't come off if you don't limit your calorie intake as well. Focus on what you CAN change. Improvements will carry you along.

But chances are that if you don't love yourself now, you won't when you are 200lbs. That's because it isn't about looks or weight. It is about your self image. There are models out there who are binging and purging daily and constantly seeking plastic surgery because they hate the way they look. They can never be good enough.... for themselves. Many people have body dysmorphic disorder where their brain magnifies their perceived defects. But there are people with severe physical deformities who are the happiest people in the world and wouldn't trade their lives for anyone's. You should re-think therapy and give it another try.

Yeah I am losing weight tho with Focus T25.I looked at the scale today and I am 304.8.that is about 9 lbs I have lost and I use a calorie counter to keep my calories and protein in check.I am going to use T25 as a stepping stone so I can have better stamina and what not and then progress from there when I need to.I have pretty much a gym in my house so I don't have any reason to be fat atm.I have treadmill,recumbent stationary bike,Total Gym XLS and a Powertec Workbench with a Lat pulldown bar with weights.I was benching 140 for muscle toning my max was probably 210.I was doing 90 lbs on the Lat Pulldown bar doing 12 reps 3 sets each.Now I am doing this Focus T25 I feel better and I can feel a small difference in my breathing.Well I have no job no money so I cannot get plastic surgery since it will cost to much and surgery freaks me out so I am going to change my body the old fashion way.With hard work and determination.

I commend you for your effort. Keep it up. You'll find the farther you go, the easier it gets because your metabolism will increase and your body will burn calories more efficiently. What helped me most was cutting out refined carbs and starches like rice, white bread, pasta and also potatoes. Your body treats these as sugar and they don't add much in the way of fiber or other nutrients. Also, I increased my intake of fiber and good fats i.e. from oily fish, lean meats, nuts and seeds, avocados and olive oil. You'll feel fuller while consuming less calories and also get the fuel you need to burn more calories by working out harder and longer. As far as dating is concerned. Nothing is more attractive to a woman than a guy who is ambitious, motivated and actively engaged in improving himself in one or more areas of his life. Well, best of luck. You seem to be on the right track.

Yeah the bad thing for me is I don't eat avocados and tomatoes.I eat fried green tomatoes but not fresh ones.It is really hard for someone like me to eat right when myself don't know how to cook.I can fix a egg sandwich and I usually eat a deli meat turkey sandwich.

KrisJack81...I am with you man! (Check out my posts in Depression and Self Esteem)

I gave up on finding a female! I accept being lonely, and in fact, when I recall what "relationships" in the past have done to me...I now prefer to be alone!

Well I have given up on getting a girlfriend.I can't go up to anyone and no girl will come up to me so I am stuck.

It's hard to be loveable when you don't have self-love. You've been working on the outside, but you are ignoring the inside. You've said you don't need a therapist; I say you do. I see many self esteem issues in your posts - things I see occasionally in myself. When I see it in myself, I have to work hard to overcome. You have your picture on your profile - you have a face that lights up when you smile. Work with what you have!

A couple of comments have been a bit harsh, but honestly, I think they're right. It seems that you want a quick answer, but you've even said it yourself - you're going to change your body through hard work and dedication. The same can work for the rest of you. Don't focus on relationships yet - you need to focus on you. Love yourself first and you'll be surprised at who else might love you.

It's also hard to make friends when you don't leave your home. What are your interests? Do you have hobbies? You can find many online interest groups - yes, even if you live in rural Georgia - and start to make friends there. Find out about events that might be going on. I understand transportation might be a problem, but someone in your family must have a vehicle that they can drop you off and pick you up at least once or twice a month. Dip your toes into that water...work on your interactions with just people...and then think about the rest.

As for your stepsister, I suggest steering yourself away from that. There are so many other people out there that are likely more appropriate for you to pursue, but if you focus on her - and she is too young to make any sort of informed decision for a relationship with an older man, let alone her stepbrother - you will miss out on other opportunities when they arise.