Should I marry a SS patient,I am confused. Please advise me.

Hmmmm,there is this girl I love and who loves me too very much,But there is a problem she is SS But I am AA, all our children would be AS But That's not the problem,the problem now is that am scared.

She told me she is among the lucky few SS that is living a good life. She told me she has never been hospitalized for any pain crises,she has only been hospitalized twice in her life Which was due to malaria,and I know she is not lying. She said her health keeps improving by the years That's she is getting more attentive, and It's only back pain crises she do have 3 times a month of recent and by taking her medications and getting a massage the pains would go after some few hours, no other sickle cellhours disease complications So that makes her lucky.

But my fear now is that will she live long? Does being a lucky SS guarantee long life (up to 70 years) I can't stand losing someone I love after years of being together in marriage, That's my only fear and am facing a serious dilemma, I just want to know,will she live long?

Hello Hotice: I'm sorry you are facing this dilemma. Please pardon my lack of knowledge, but I do not know the meanings of SS, AA, & AS... can you clarify? From what you wrote, it sounds as though the girl you love only has some back pain at the present time, and it is controlled through the use of medications & massage.

Assuming this girl's back pain is from something like strained muscles or a bulged disc in her back, this is certainly nothing that would be life threatening. I'm now in my mid 60's & I've struggled with pain in my low back most of my life. It's just something one learns to live with & work around.

Beyond that, you know, when we fall in love with someone, we really can never be certain how long that person will live. We hope to grow old together. But accidents, disease, and other things can ruin our plans. We can only hope the person we fall in love with, and we ourselves, have the long lives we hope for, and appreciate whatever time we do have together.

Sickle Cell anemia - SS is the most common subtype, SS is the shorthand for having 2 copies of the gene, which means you have it, or one copy of the gene, AS, a carrier, or AA, no defective genes.

To respond to the OP, there are no guarantees in life when it comes to health, or fate for that matter . No one would find love if they worried about possibilities. Who says you won't be the one to get sick, from cancer or heart disease or MS or whatever. No guarantees, just faith that you will get through it with love. If you love her, love her and be there for you, as she will love you. For better or worse, in sickness and in health.

If I loved her and wanted to marry I wouldn't let anything prevent me from having whatever amount time we could have together. I do understand your concern.

Hotice, only you can make the decision about marrying the woman who you love.

People who are homozygous SS do have, on average, shorter lifespans that others - survival until late 40s - early 50s is normal though there are many exceptions to this.

All the best.

Hey Hotice, I would say life is so unpredictable anyway, what prevents you from dying before her for example? There's no way to tell, so you might as well go all out and do what you want to do, then if death comes, then so be it, at least you had what you wanted. You guys love each other and that is so special in itself. There are normal people who get married who don't even love each other. You will have a great marriage at least.

Ask yourself this - which do you think will last longer - a great marriage like you guys will have or a normal marriage like you see outside in the street everyday or in the shops. Most of these so-called normal marriages between normal people end up in divorce ten years later, with two or three kids who can only see their dad once a week if he decided not to run away or is not sitting in jail.

Normal is such a farse, nothing but a cloak to hide shortcomings in people. I am willing to bet a million dollars that you will have a happier marriage than 90% of people you see around you. Time is irrelevant, you get more out of one year with your wife than another man will being 10 years with his wife. I hope what I am saying is not too confusing .

All the best, I think you should go for it .