Relationship in a serious rut

I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years now. I love her, I love her family, and we have a pretty solid relationship. Only problem is, she is stubborn as a bull and completely irresponsible. She spends her entire paycheck on weed and clothes. When I suggest that she might save her money, as we're hoping to get our own place in the near future, she gets offended. It's not my place to tell her how to spend her money, she says. Which is true, but she accepts no responsibility for her actions. She's also very selfish; your typical girly girl. She's a big talker, and by that I mean she never stops talking, even to other people. She likes to be pampered with daily backrubs, presents, all that stuff. I'm a nice guy so I try to spoil her the best I can, but something's got to give. It's a completely one-sided relationship. I'm her doting, breadwinning, fixer boyfriend, and she's sitting there stagnant. That's how I feel, anyway. I've been considering leaving the relationship, but I just can't do it. She's everything to me and I don't want to lose something over something that some might consider trivial. You don't know what you've got until it's gone, right? So I'm wondering if this is a common relationship problem, or if I'm just being an asshole (pardon my french).

Hello ForzenYogurt: I'm sorry to write this... but, to me, this sounds like a train wreak looking for a place to happen. Now, realize, I'm in my mid 60's & I've been married for 30+ years. Perhaps someone younger would have a different perspective. But from what you've written, it sounds to me as though your girlfriend is completely self-absorbed. I don't know how any couple could build a lasting relationship on this basis.

Again, from my perspective, I would think that some couples counseling would be the way to go. However, from what you wrote, it does not sound likely your girlfriend would agree to such a thing. Assuming this is the case, perhaps you might consider some individual counseling for yourself to help you sort out your feelings & come to some conclusion with regard to your relationship with this lady.

I guess I don't have that much experience with other peoples' relationships. But the one you describe does not sound common to me at all, and certainly not healthy. I do wish you all the best with this though.

My profession is a dating coach. I'm only saying that so you understand where this advice comes from.

You are in a very unhealthy relationship. You need to stop fixing her problems for her and providing for her. She needs to take personal responsibility. There is a possibility that it could end your relationship. It's important to realize that there are plenty of girls out there.

People get comfortable and invested in relationships. All of the shared memories and effort you've put in so far makes it difficult for you to think of life without her. It's not as hard as you may think to find another girl that is better than her. Then, set better rules in the next relationship.

I've seen too many guys who were in loveless relationships too long come to me, saying they wish they had ended things sooner.

Just my 2 cents.