I'm 17 and I feel like I'll never have a girlfriend

Interesting. These pesky umlauts, hehe

Thanks for your reply! I have tried really, really hard to try to get my mind off of things like girls and sex, but it seems like those things are always thrown in my face, whether it be on the internet, TV, or even in real life. I know that you went through this before, so you probably know how I feel. It's not even just about the girls, I barely have any friends period. I never hang out with anyone or go out with anyone besides my mom and other family members. I've never even had really close friendships before, not even with other guys. I can't really say that I've ever had a best friend before. Sometimes I feel like I'll always be a social failure.

Thanks for your reply! I'm trying to work on myself currently (exercising) to hopefully help my chances. You're probably right about me being too young to be worrying about this stuff. I'm sure you know as good as I do that it just sucks seeing all of the other guys have success with girls while you're still waiting for a first kiss. Thank you for the encouraging words though. I really hope you're right about the anatomy class part!

Chin up, my man. Exercising is great ! Keep it up.

Another thing I wanted to mention is ... priorities change as you get older. When you're at your age or in your early twenties, it's all about looks and being cool and stuff. When you're older (and the girls you attract are older), it becomes more about things like your career (are you financially stable and successful ?), your health, and whether or not you would make a good partner (perhaps a husband).

Those "cool" guys and the assholes in high school and college who think they're hot **** will someday be working for minimum wage at Walmart, and if you're serious about your career, you might be the general manager of some large company, and guess who the chicks will come around to ? YOU.

So, what I'm trying to say is ... girls your age may just look for "cool" guys, but as you get older, they'll come around, and when they do, it would help if you have your life in order (career, health, emotional stability, etc). So working on yourself is very important, not just for the girls ... do it for yourself.

Yes, it sucks seeing other guys be better with girls, but remember this ... and this is something life will teach you ... everyone is good at some things, and bad at other things. Those guys may be playboys, but maybe they're also dumbasses who can't add 2 single digit numbers.

Maybe you're not very confident with girls, but you're very intelligent, and that will help you with your career and, in later life, with finding a long-term partner (most women like intelligence, at least in later life).

Thanks, man. I really appreciate the advice. I will try to work on myself. I thought last night and realized that if I was a girl, I probably wouldn't be attracted to me either. It's pretty depressing but it's true. I want to find a way to stand out from the other guys. My confidence and self-esteem are pretty low so I will also have to find ways to fix that as well. I just hope that it doesn't take that long for me to find a girlfriend, I'm really hoping that this all happens sooner than later.

"Those "cool" guys and the assholes in high school and college who think they're hot **** will someday be working for minimum wage at Walmart, and if you're serious about your career, you might be the general manager of some large company, and guess who the chicks will come around to ? YOU."

This really hit home for me, when, several years out of high school, I was walking down the street in my old neighborhood, when out of the blue, someone was saying, "HI" to me and when I turned to look, it was the high school football star who was in the process of unloading the beer truck he was driving for a living. Not that there's anything wrong with driving a beer truck, per se, but in the years since knowing him in high school, so much had changed in our lives and I definitely wasn't driving a beer truck for a living!

My point exactly

Yup, most of the dudes I know who were slaying it in high school are still living with their moms (who I'm sure are very sweet ladies, but dudes, we're in our mid-twenties).

The guys who buckled down and treated everyone with respect and grew at their own pace while allowing others to do the same are all in loving, positive relationships right now.

I was the same way at your age and you're handling it much better than I did.

Thanks for your reply! I do notice that a lot of the guys that attract a lot of girls aren't really going down successful paths, with the exception of a few. I don't know why the good looking girls seem to chase after those guys, but I'm not a girl, so I'll never understand it. Anyway, I appreciate everyone who has contributed to this thread. I'm just trying to stay hopeful and positive even though it gets hard sometimes.

You've got this, brother. Lift some weights (it's fun, I promise), learn about the world around you, and focus on improving yourself and being good to the people around you.

I know that's all pretty cliche, but it's cliche for a reason.

Like I said - you've got this.

im attractive
intelligent
25 and single
never had a first kiss
or anyone to hold hands with
some things just take time
worry about other things rather than being single

Trust me, I try to. The problem is that I am always reminded of the fact that I'm still single, whether it be seeing happy couples or seeing attractive girls that don't even look my way. I realize that I'm still young but I could imagine that most guys have at least had one girlfriend or at least a close female friend by my age. I can't say that I have had either.

you're so young i wouldnt sweat it so much. in a few yours you will grow and be a completely different person just work on being the best person you can be and the girls will come. everyone gets shot down by women so don't be afraid.

I know that I'm young but it still sucks. All of the teenage memories like taking girls to prom, having your first kiss, and having a girlfriend are things that I'll never get to experience. It's been getting me down a lot lately. I already have a good personality, at least I think I do. Most adults that talk to me tell me that I'm respectful, polite, and well-spoken. I'm known as a good kid. I already have self-esteem issues and insecurities, so the fact that I'm a social and romantic failure makes it even worse. Most guys my age have girlfriends and a social life, I just want to feel normal.

I went through that stage in high school. I was always interested in girls, but was too shy to ask one out. I mostly just stared at them, hoping they'd get the hint. Apparently the vibe I was giving off was more of "I have an axe in my shed that I'd like to introduce you to." rather than "You're pretty. Would you go out with me?"

If I could go back and give myself advice it would be: don't put pressure on yourself. It isn't a race. If you don't have a girlfriend now, it doesn't mean you're an unlovable loser who will forever be a virgin, it just means you haven't found her yet. She's out there, probably feeling as shy and awkward as you are right now. Don't sweat it. Just be yourself. Also, don't stare at girls giving them the vibe that you want to invite them into your van in a dark alley. Don't do that. It really creeps them out.

I know what you mean and I don't do that, I try not to be creepy. I'm a senior now and things like prom and social events are shoved down my throat and I haven't been to any of those things. It makes me feel like I'm not normal and an outcast.

Do you have any idea how many lonely, awkward, single people there are in high school? A lot. It doesn't make you weird, you're just not experienced with interacting with girls. The more pressure you put on yourself to be flawless in dealing with girls, the more of a flustered, sweaty palmed wreck you'll become.

The way I got over it was I stopped trying to find a girlfriend, and started looking at all girls as "just one of the guys." I could joke around with them, talk to them, and feel comfortable around them because I wasn't trying to "find love." Doing that, girls got to know me, and some of them even liked me enough to want to date me. I'd have never had those opportunities if I kept hiding, hoping a girl would sense my desperation and pick me as her mate.

You just need confidence enough to meet girls and not start tripping over your tongue, sweating profusely, and looking like you just ate a hot pepper while having an aneurysm.

If talking to girls in person is too much pressure, there are billions of women on the internet you can e-mail, text or chat with. A lot of them are in your general area too. Makes it easier to start getting to know someone, so you don't feel so clumsy when you meet them.

I think I will stop trying to find a girlfriend for now. I've pretty much given up on finding one at my school because I'm going to graduate soon. I'm just a socially awkward person in general, I'm better at talking to guys than girls but I'm still pretty awkward. I don't really have any friends at all so I will hopefully make some new friends in the future and maybe that'll help me find a girlfriend.