[Confusedhobo]

Alright so let me start off with explaining how this relationship started. We went to a conference a couple years ago and I knew her for a couple years but didn't really talk to her. So during this conference we get to know each other. Then a couple days later the conference ended. So I thought maybe something might happen here but I doubt it. So just as I am about to fall asleep she texts me and we text for about a month then we are dating. But since I hardly knew her it didn't last long. So we go without talking to each other for about 9 months. Then we see each other and start talking again and things happened and we were dating again. Then it ends again because I didn't put any rules down. So then I say alright I will move on and she means nothing. So a couple months goes by and we both go to that same conference and basically ignore each other the whole time. Then I move on to college. I come home for a weekend and she is at my house talking to my mom and I didn't know what was happening so I just move on with my day. Then days go on and she is at my house everyday for the next 9 months. I didn't know what was happening so I just ignored it and started talking to other girls. But then my spring tennis season starts and she starts going to my games. I thought it was for me but then I find out later in the season my best friend was dating her. So then to piss her off I just start dating her nemesis. So that got her attention and she texts me to meet her at dunkin donuts. So I talk to her there and she was confused on what she was doing and she told me she tried to move on from me but she can't every time she just ends up knowing I am the one for her. So I respond and say you know I feel the same way expect I have known how I have felt I just was waiting on her. After that we both dump the other two and get back together. Then she goes on a missions trip with her ex and my other friend. She was gone for 2 weeks and I was just excited for her to come back. When she came back and went to my house she wasn't the same person. I soon find out that she was dating my other friend. I find that out at a fireworks show. So I was devastated and was hurt for the next couple months. I thought and talked to friends and said how the hell do two of my friends betray me? They told me to talk to other girls and wait for her to come back. So I did that and started talking to my ex and things didn't really workout there but I made it seem like it did. So I waited and one day she comes back to my house and I couldn't trust her but I knew she came back to her senses and ended with that guy. So over a whole semester we were in an art class and slowly I was able to trust her again. So then tennis started again and she goes and watches me play. Expect this time she was actually there for me. So over the last couple months I haven't told her how I feel. But I did tell her last week how I felt betrayed when she did that last year. I left last week telling her I will go silent for 2 weeks so I can think. So it has been four days and I already know what I am gonna do but I'm not sure if it is the right choice and if I should wait the whole two weeks. Anyone have any suggestions?

[Montezumadiz]

As your story goes, both you and her didn't know what you wanted. She was, literally, finding out if you were the one. You 2 clicked for a reason, but don't let that fool you. Sometimes our heart wants something that our brain doesn't. You have to think about the consequences of your final decision. Is it going to end as always, with her going out with others?, or do you believe she change and you're sure it won't happen again?. Monotony is something that's always present in a relationship, so if you end up going back with her, try to both of you understand each other. The more you know about yourselfs, the more the trust will evolve. Kudos

[bighands]

Originally Posted by Confusedhobo

Alright so let me start off with explaining how this relationship started. We went to a conference a couple years ago and I knew her for a couple years but didn't really talk to her. So during this conference we get to know each other. Then a couple days later the conference ended. So I thought maybe something might happen here but I doubt it. So just as I am about to fall asleep she texts me and we text for about a month then we are dating. But since I hardly knew her it didn't last long. So we go without talking to each other for about 9 months. Then we see each other and start talking again and things happened and we were dating again. Then it ends again because I didn't put any rules down. So then I say alright I will move on and she means nothing. So a couple months goes by and we both go to that same conference and basically ignore each other the whole time. Then I move on to college. I come home for a weekend and she is at my house talking to my mom and I didn't know what was happening so I just move on with my day. Then days go on and she is at my house everyday for the next 9 months. I didn't know what was happening so I just ignored it and started talking to other girls. But then my spring tennis season starts and she starts going to my games. I thought it was for me but then I find out later in the season my best friend was dating her. So then to piss her off I just start dating her nemesis. So that got her attention and she texts me to meet her at dunkin donuts. So I talk to her there and she was confused on what she was doing and she told me she tried to move on from me but she can't every time she just ends up knowing I am the one for her. So I respond and say you know I feel the same way expect I have known how I have felt I just was waiting on her. After that we both dump the other two and get back together. Then she goes on a missions trip with her ex and my other friend. She was gone for 2 weeks and I was just excited for her to come back. When she came back and went to my house she wasn't the same person. I soon find out that she was dating my other friend. I find that out at a fireworks show. So I was devastated and was hurt for the next couple months. I thought and talked to friends and said how the hell do two of my friends betray me? They told me to talk to other girls and wait for her to come back. So I did that and started talking to my ex and things didn't really workout there but I made it seem like it did. So I waited and one day she comes back to my house and I couldn't trust her but I knew she came back to her senses and ended with that guy. So over a whole semester we were in an art class and slowly I was able to trust her again. So then tennis started again and she goes and watches me play. Expect this time she was actually there for me. So over the last couple months I haven't told her how I feel. But I did tell her last week how I felt betrayed when she did that last year. I left last week telling her I will go silent for 2 weeks so I can think. So it has been four days and I already know what I am gonna do but I'm not sure if it is the right choice and if I should wait the whole two weeks. Anyone have any suggestions?

Run for the hills!

I knew a girl like that in college. She was gorgeous and sexy and we clicked but she had issues. Now, she's been married and divorced a few times and, of course, it's always everyone else's fault. Start fresh with someone who has minimal drama AND makes you happy. She's out there. Clear the obstructions and your view will improve so you can find her.

PS - There should be a "Hell No" button in your poll...

Originally Posted by bighands

Run for the hills!

I knew a girl like that in college. She was gorgeous and sexy and we clicked but she had issues. Now, she's been married and divorced a few times and, of course, it's always everyone else's fault. Start fresh with someone who has minimal drama AND makes you happy. She's out there. Clear the obstructions and your view will improve so you can find her.

PS - There should be a "Hell No" button in your poll...

Agreed... unless you like games.

[DeterminedSlacker]

She's more trouble than pleasure it seems. I don't think she knows what she wants and I wouldn't be surprised if a few months down the road she decides again to go for someone else. Usually there's a reason our relationships don't work and they often end the same way if we try to rekindle them. You really haven't described any happy times with her, only the problems she has given you. If I were you I'd go my own way for now and focus on school/work/hobbies, the right girl will come along soon enough.

[Daystrom]

Get rid of her, yesterday. I've had too many relationships with women like this who didn't know what the hell they wanted and ended up making me pay for their drama, and it's a big part of the reason why I'm in therapy.

Oops, there I go again resorting to gross characterizations and generalizations of 50% of the population that don't really capture the complexities of them.....

She obviously isn't trust worthy and does whatever she wants when she wants without any regard for anyone's feelings. She's damaged goods, time to try a different flavor that isn't going to give you an ulcer. Good luck!

She's pretending she clicked with you, so that you would feel that she actually did and thus lure you into giving her another chance. Don't fall for it man!

Originally Posted by Daystrom

Oops, there I go again resorting to gross characterizations and generalizations of 50% of the population that don't really capture the complexities of them.....

I honestly don't see you doing any of that, you were very clear about which specific women you were referring to. And, the only reason there is any "generalization" is that so many women seem to do the same things.

We wouldn't generalize if so many didn't follow the same "code of practice" and follow these so-called "gender rules".

Here's a tip to anyone who doesn't want to be "stereotyped" - stop acting like your stereotype and people will stop stereotyping you.

This is the same thing I feel when I see stuff at my university (put up by students not wanting to pay fees, etc.), slogans and stuff saying "My education is not a business", I feel like writing on there "then stop acting like a commodity".

People attract generalizations and stereotyping upon themselves, bottom line.

[Ratchet]

I say no, stay away. With all the yes-no yes-no confusion between you, the likelihood you'll miss a yes-yes relationship grows. It sounds like there's some attraction between you, coupled with mind games all round, and from experience, it won't end up in a long term thing that keeps the both of you happy.

Originally Posted by Ratchet

I say no, stay away. With all the yes-no yes-no confusion between you, the likelihood you'll miss a yes-yes relationship grows. It sounds like there's some attraction between you, coupled with mind games all round, and from experience, it won't end up in a long term thing that keeps the both of you happy.

1 post... I don't think he took our advice

[Ratchet]

Yes, I would tend to agree...

[bighands]

strange. The dude posted a poll on the same day he joined. Something tells me he's got more than one account to post from and he didn't want to use his regular one for this.

Either that or the aliens abducted him?