[DocJohn]

Hi folks,

While this is indeed a forum and safe place for men to post about their own thoughts and reflections on their own recovery and interactions with members of the opposite sex, I would remind members to try and err on the side of being respectful of that opposite gender.

You can express your opinions about others without resorting to gross characterizations or generalizations that really are meaningless. I would never refer to any large group (and certainly not one that constitutes 50 percent of the population) with a generalization that doesn't capture the complexities of them. I would ask you not to either.

This isn't meant primarily as a place to vent, but rather a place to better understand our interactions with the other opposite sex and to share our own insights and thoughts along those lines.

Thanks for your cooperation and understanding.

DocJohn

[lowinmood]

note taken, I promise not to flame the men

OK, I can agree with that, but wasn't this section of the forum originally meant to be for all men-focused support, including male-specific health problems and everything? It wasn't designed to just speak about women, not so?

So, I think what's happening is, when someone does post something about the opposite sex, it will most likely be a very challenging thread and possibly a vent, and when one considers the male-psyche in general, and our tendency to keep quiet about stuff that bothers us, I would say if it were on here, it's definitely serious enough that the guy felt he had to post about it.

I am not arguing or anything, but I personally would say it'd be good for a guy to get something out, and women shouldn't be reading this forum in the first place, and get offended, and I assume, complain about it to the powers that be.

If they are, then they need to be able to handle what they read, unfortunately. If one chooses to open a Pandora's box, be prepared to be shocked, because one was warned beforehand that opening it would change one for life.

Kinda reminds me of a certain lady who couldn't resist eating fruit from a certain forbidden tree, many thousands of years ago, if you know what I mean. There needs to be an understanding that certain things can never be unlearned once learned. So, I think the onus should lie on the individual curious enough to "sneak a peek" even after being advised not to do so.

[Daystrom]

Originally Posted by StbGuy

I am not arguing or anything, but I personally would say it'd be good for a guy to get something out, and women shouldn't be reading this forum in the first place, and get offended, and I assume, complain about it to the powers that be.

Well exactly, and I believe that's exactly what happened over the infamous "t*ts and tires" thread. A few women read it, were offended, and went to the mods to complain about it and have it changed.

So in effect, a handful of women were given veto power over what gets posted in the Men's Support forum, which seems rather absurd to me. What if there's a guy (not me) who hates all women and needs to talk about it? How does one do that "respectfully"? Should he just simmer in silence? Doesn't seem very "safe" to me, or particularly healthy. I for one am less likely to post if I feel that I have to be so careful about what I type, for fear of offending someone for whom the forum wasn't even designed.

The same holds true for the women's forum; if there's a lady out there who just plain can't stand men, why shouldn't she be able to say so within the confines of a "safe" support structure? I really don't think most men would be bothered by it. I wouldn't.

[DeterminedSlacker]

Well put. We can't expect a man to try to come to terms with his feelings towards women, as dark as they may be, if he's scared of offending women who aren't supposed to be reading his posts in the first place. Some men do truly battle misogyny and hatred towards women, be it from parental abuse or an abusive partner. If he can't let his feelings out, which sometimes include rage and hate, then he will have them brewing inside himself instead of being able to receive constructive advice in a safe space for men to vent.

[bighands]

And over in the women's forum, they're insulting men in Doc John's note. That makes things MUCH better.

[DeterminedSlacker]

Originally Posted by bighands

And over in the women's forum, they're insulting men in Doc John's note. That makes things MUCH better.

All I see in this thread is a few reasonable points as to why sometimes men do need a place to vent and doing so in a controlled environment online where they can receive helpful advice from men is a good thing. Apparently that means we're "rednecks scratching our balls". Stay classy, ladies.

[Daystrom]

Originally Posted by bighands

And over in the women's forum, they're insulting men in Doc John's note. That makes things MUCH better.

You know, I could easily point to the teeth-gnashing currently going on in the "counterpart" thread, add in the outraged responses to the "t*ts and tires" thread (you know, the one in which half the posts were about our innate love for women) from the handful of ladies who wandered in to berate us for it; multiply it by the number of posts over there expressing desires to censor or otherwise control the content over here, and end up with a pretty good picture of how the old stereotype of women -- as catty, complaining, controlling nags who'll take you for all the love and wealth you have to give them before kicking your used-up, heartbroken husk into the sewer after a decade-long "relationship" and then trotting off to giggle with their girlfriends at lunch over how easy it was to use, abuse, and clean out such a dumb sucker -- got started.

Not that I'd ever dream of doing that, of course.

[Daystrom]

Originally Posted by DeterminedSlacker

All I see in this thread is a few reasonable points as to why sometimes men do need a place to vent and doing so in a controlled environment online where they cApparently that means we're "rednecks scratching our balls".

Well damn it, my balls ITCHED!

Originally Posted by Daystrom

Well damn it, my balls ITCHED!

LOL

Lucky you, mine were chewed.

Originally Posted by DocJohn

Hi folks,

While this is indeed a forum and safe place for men to post about their own thoughts and reflections on their own recovery and interactions with members of the opposite sex, I would remind members to try and err on the side of being respectful of that opposite gender.

You can express your opinions about others without resorting to gross characterizations or generalizations that really are meaningless. I would never refer to any large group (and certainly not one that constitutes 50 percent of the population) with a generalization that doesn't capture the complexities of them. I would ask you not to either.

This isn't meant primarily as a place to vent, but rather a place to better understand our interactions with the other opposite sex and to share our own insights and thoughts along those lines.

Thanks for your cooperation and understanding.

DocJohn

I was considering posting in this forum, but now that DocJohn has made it crystal clear that this forum is exclusively for straight men I will refrain.

Please change the title of this forum to Straight Men-Focused Support. Thank you.

I think he meant with respect to posts about women/in light of posts about women, besides/barring (for the meantime/purpose of his point) the other topics not involving women. He was sort of singling it out.

Of course there is room too for posts about everything else regarding men, he was just focusing specifically on the posts about women for the moment.

Welcome to the forum kindness, feel free to post.

[DeterminedSlacker]

Not to dig up old drama but I'm late to the party, what's the deal with this "tires" thread that caused such an uproar?