Transition

Hi
I'm a 52 yr old Australian male . Worked in the underground mining industry all my life . I guess the reason for my post is to just see if anyone else experiences similar feelings ? To be blunt , I'm pretty much over working for a living . Just feel it's wasting precious time I won't get back . I guess it started when I was about 48 . I assume I hit the dreaded " mid life crisis " . I haven't done anything crazy or life altering , but mentally it has been a bit of a struggle . Perhaps I'm just mentally burnt out ? I generally work about 60 hrs a week and there is some stress involved as like most people I have targets and people to supervise . It may not help that I'm in an in between phase , where I've done alright from my labours , but not accumulated enough to give it away . My job is fairly specialised so I'm either working long hours making good money , but if I left to do something else I probably would only be qualified to collect shopping trolleys for a buck an hr . I have set goals to try to get through . Give it away at 55 , stuff like that , saving like a madman to try to make it happen . Some days go o.k. , some days you just can't seem to see an end to this mindless tread mill ... so am I just a silver spoon first world idiot who should suck it up and get on with it ....or do other guys hit the wall about now ?

Checked back to view any opinions . Such is life , well that's how it's always been . You have to do it on your own , if you don't then you end up a victim . So anyway , right or wrong ..I have my plan . I am making it a reality . Basically I was ..am struggling with a mental health issue . The choices were to succumb , or fight . I choose life . I choose to choose my own destiny . Yes it will cost me two more years and nine months and some mental stress , sadness , depression ? Whatever those things really are ? . That's o.k. I can stick it . Do I have all the answers ? . No ... do I have any ? , ..maybe ? , we'll see . Keep achieving , keep striving for a goal , any goal . That might be the real meaning of life , climb the next hill , and keep climbing them till you done ... anyways

So I'm a 52 yo man with a wife and two great boys which are 10 and 14. I have a successful job but struggle with depression and anxiety. I dream about not working but the fact is I'll be working at something until I'm dead. Bills, Bills Bills.... I hear your pain and understand it well. I get very little satisfaction from my job but it does pay well and like you I don't know what else I'm qualified for.

Two years and 9 months isn't really that long and when you look back one year, it goes by fast. But I also know how time stands still when you're depressed. Find a little fun somewhere mate... Anything.. Even reading or meeting up with a friend.

What will you do when you stop working? 60 is young, it's like the new 50.

Hello Archie: I guess I can't really relate to your situation. I stopped working somewhere around your present age as a result of a combination of mental health & physical / medical problems. I'm now pushing 70 years old. However I can certainly relate to the feeling of just working for a living. I pretty-much felt that way my entire working life... which perhaps at least partially explains how I just came to give it all up when circumstances conspired to create that opportunity for me to do so. Anyway... I didn't really have any particularly useful observations to offer. I simply wanted to let you know I read your post & I wish you well.

I'm 52 as well...that you for the perspective on this. I feel like I'm in the same spot - successful, but struggling with depression and anxiety. But I really appreciate your perspective. It does go by quickly.

Thanks for your replies , it's good to hear from people . Also good to hear some are or have been in the same boat . It's no good constantly whining away is it , so that's not what I intend to do , but have to say I think it was all bought on by too many years of pushing myself to the physical and then mental limit at work , then I just broke to a certain extent . If I trace back the signs I think it really started to happen 10 years ago , the first hairline cracks . I'm fortunate , I'm almost there , so just have to stay positive , but it has given me an idea about how tough it must be for someone who suffers mental crumbling at a young age . My goal now is to plan to be able to do something that is constructive when I can escape , not for much money , maybe just as a volunteer . Hopefully to make a difference to a strangers life and not just to increase the wealth of the elite . Thanks boys !

Pterodactyl Beach .. I remember a story I heard many years ago and has stuck with me . Someone discovered a large amount of Pterodactyl fossils on a beach ...and the show played out a scenario from millions of years ago " this one Pterodactyl had been flying hundreds of miles each year to this one beach with all the others . When he arrives he fights his way into the large pack and mates with a female and then leaves to fly back ... but this year he is old now , when he arrives at the beach he is totally exhausted .. he tries to fight his way into the pack but is too weak .. he drags himself injured to the outskirts of the pack , too tired and broken to fly away , he dies there ... life goes on ....then millions of years later they find his fossils ... in darker moments it's easy to identify with that one Pterodactyl.. but , that is life .. reminds you to try to make the most of it .

Interesting points, and I like your story about the pterodactyl, too. I've been thinking about volunteering a lot lately, too - maybe this is a midlife thing? At any rate, thank you for posting this. I have to stay positive too; been difficult lately, but I am holding on, and hope that you are too.

Thanks regretful , yeah I reckon the volunteering is a by product . I think it's easy to pigeonhole the transition to be all about material things and regaining lost youth , but I know now it's more complex that that . I liken it to a reverse puberty in some ways . When you were 13 -15-17 yrs old , we had a lot of very different thoughts , not all of them frivolous and foolhardy . I'm no expert but I reckon after 40 years of grinding out a career , gaining houses , funds , etc for our families . We get the urge to do something to make a difference that's not based on "what's in it for me " .. probably not explained that so well . Puberty wasn't a bad thing once I had got through it ... starting to think this might be the same . Hang in there mate ...as the Tank Corps motto was after WWI " Through mud and blood ..to the green fields beyond "

just an update on this . 5 years on from the beginning of transition and it's starting to feel like the path is widening and looking positive . Less than two years to financial goal now . Have made 2018 a year of personal development . Fitter and stronger now both physically and mentally . The goal date doesn't feel like a line to stagger across now . It feels like a lauching ramp which will be approached building up speed preparing to launch . Feeling true happiness for the first time in 5 years ..and not a day of it , but weeks at a time . Transition is a nasty journey , but the rewards might be worth the struggle .

Well , things are going o.k. for me ..I hope they are for you . I find I still have my up moments/days and my less moments/days . But on the whole I don't have that wild swing of emotion that I did and I found so destructive , am much happier and more positive and the Plan is progressing as per the map .
As I said before , I'm trying to make 2018 a year of self improvement . I guess 6 months in and the euphoria of that has dulled a little . Don't get me wrong the benefits are stunning , but like anything , you tend to get used to something and then it sorta just feels same-same . So I can see that the second half of 2018 will be one where I need to stay focused on those goals until I entrench my new life choices into my sub conscious .
I need to train myself up on something different also though . I have been studying myself regarding ... not sure how to describe it ? ... enjoying moments and success's . Actually taking time to just enjoy things .
I'm sure I wasn't born like this , but maybe my working life has trained me towards being like this , but everything is a task to be completed in the shortest time possible and then to move on to the next task . I've noticed that with goals . I will achieve a mini goal and I don't even stop to congratulate myself . I just go " o.k. done , whats next " So I started evaluating this and I see it in just about everything I do . Coffee and cake with the wife . I am cutting the cake , she the coffee . I cut cake then find myself analyzing her coffee making . Hmm , would be faster if you got the milk now as your waiting , you don't need to pause when you are talking there , you could still be loading the machine ....it's a silly example , but it's what I have noticed everywhere . I don't want to find myself one day walking through an amazing forest following a dream trek ...and just be staring at the map thinking " if I cut through that corner I will get to the destination faster ". Maybe I need to try meditating or something ?
This is not a problem for the moment , but I'll need to try to re train my brain down a bit if I hope to enjoy the experience of things just for the experience alone , and not just see them as a task that needs to be completed in the shortest and most efficient way . Brains are certainly complex . You wonder at times if they are on our side or not ? The journey of reverse puberty continues .

May you have the bladders of 1000 camels and I'm in Sydney.

PM: me for coordinates.

Thanks 2ISAB
I live in a town that's Main Street was built wide to accomodate a camel train to be swung around . The Afghans ran them this way with supplies . They were men from Pakistan , North Africa etc , but were all termed as Afghans . That happened between about 1860 and 1920 . But this town only started in 1894 . I went to Sydney once for a day . It was fine . I drank beer at the Rocks .
August begins tomorrow . 2018 is being conquered ...slowly . Need to stay focussed .

Isn't it great watching the ME generation destroying our history . Tearing down statues , removing any trace of who we were or how we developed , both good and bad . Political correctness gone insane. Disregarding anything that they haven't done or have achieved . I'm not sure if there has ever been a more selfish generation in the history of civilisation . You don't make history by denying history. They will be very annoyed to finally realise they don't get to judge their contributions , history will judge them .

Half way through August ..almost . 2018 is going to be the foundation stone of the future . Achieving stretch targets is such an uplifting thing . The war is not won , but the battle continues .

Last post on this thread . Pretty much has come to a natural end and hopefully a happy ending . Funny , because out of desperation I found this place , not realising that a year after I wrote that first post I would have found a way out of the cave . 2018 , whilst not yet done has been the recovery year .
So far this year I've given up smoking and effectively drinking . Lost 5 lbs ( ok I was 23 bmi anyway , but was worried I'd put weight on when giving up smoking ) . Sustained a savings rate of 55% . Increased my fitness and strength . Sleeping has improved . Don't feel angry all the time . Have regained some of my former confidence in myself . Because of all that , my work is not as destructive on my mind as it had become . Found peace . Feel at peace .
My original plans remain the same , but maybe not out of desperation anymore . But out of optimism for the future .
Possibly just writing stuff on this forum , often deranged stuff , but stuff all the same has played its part in the recovery .
So what are the goals for 2019 ? Well , continue on towards the goal , also give up the internet . I would like to go back to as much of a pre internet life as possible . We'll see , I don't see that as easy as it might sound . I have always craved knowledge . It used to be books , but the net allowed me to supercharge that knowledge gathering . There comes a time of too much mindless information though ..and as crazy as it sounds I think it contributed to my mental illness .
Over and out .