women only site?

any of you guys ever think that this should be a women only site? with the thinly veiled intense seething hatred some of these femme fatales have for men as a whole and the unfettered expressions of contempt, as well as the dubious outspoken assertions of knowledge about all males based no doubt on conversations around the trailer park courtyard ,all of which apparantly are condoned, have you ever felt that this may not be the best place for men with psychological problems particulary lack of self esteem to come?

I dunno. I think it has a lot to do with there not being a lot of men who post to begin with.

Yeah, I know which post you are mentioning as well. It has to be hard for people though to feel mistreated by their significant other, so I can understand her feelings.

Of course, as we mentioned, not all men are pigs...but if we go out and act as idiots against women, what message does that show (or prove) to them about us? That we are pigs?

Personally, I would like the mens forum to grow, but as I have mentioned before, its hard to grow when theres usually not a post in here on average a day...

To me, also, its not a women or men thing, its a Clyde thing. I dont want others to think I am a pig, obnoxious or something of the like, so I figure if I keep my side of the street clean, thats the best I can do and ask for...

i can relate to her feeling mistreated or not appreciated by her significant other or even other men in her life but to extrapolate what is happening to you to the overwhelming majority of men worldwide is rediculous and i believe that it creates a hostile, degrading environment here for men who may be thinking of participating. There are plenty of spoiled, selfish , self centered women out there as you well know if you live in the real world, but i wouldnt say that most are. It is obvious that it is ok here for women to say anything that they want to about men as a group and any generalization of us is acceptable. Again i dont think that it is a healthy atmosphere for young men especially who come here looking for information or support. What they get is yeah you are a man so you are stupid, lazy, untrainable, evil etc.

i think you both are making good points... i live in a town so pc, so feminized, at times i had to search to find my cave man because "they" would hang him high if anyone knew where he was... but with some stroke of luck there remains a shred and i'm hangin' on to him... sorry if i'm wrong, but i am male... and why the heck should i apologize?

i was remembering something earlier that i thnk i can apply now... one of my weakness/strengths is to people please... if i go to a bar to play the jukebox i take into account what other customers are there... try to play a song that everyone can dig... now if you have a mix of men, women, bikers, cowbays, grampas and gramma and babies... do you know how hard that is? well, i try anyway.. cause they came for a good time too... and part of me having a good time is if they have a good time...

likewise i'm considerate of what topics i discuss and the nlanguage i use, cause even if i'm only talking to one person, others can hear me and sure enough, soon as i say the f-word, theres gramma right behind me... now some are cool and don't get offended but i wonder, in the back of their mind, i've just made an impression, been an example... what example do i want to set???? what do i want this woman or this man to have of me? what do i want him/her to tell their kids that i'm all about...

don't forget... pc is all over in my town... i deal with it all the time... it gets so nutty i could scream... but then, i'd be setting an example of someone who just lost their last wit... nowheretorun...

It is what it is joe....i've been frustrated many times trying to prove all men are not the same, etc.,.
some get it and some don't.
It doesn't bother me, cos I don't expect to get any real help here...ultimately you have to help yourself.

Thats the biggest thing, I mean, heck, I could talk to someone till I am blue in the face, or some lady could talk to her friend till shes blue in the face, but we can change no ones opinions, just keep being decent men (the way you are) and that is what really matters...

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“I don't expect to get any real help here...ultimately you have to help yourself.”

I agree, This site is primarily for females, run by mostly female Mods and an All Female Admin Team, with a spattering of male Mods to show “equality“ when clearly there is non.

When I got this forum started I asked for a forum for Men Only, Moderated by Men Only, That was what was asked for, well obviously we got the site, but the plain truth is it is moderated also by the ALL FEMALE Admin team also when neither yourself or Doc John is around, yet they are not listed on the moderators list for this forum, why is that?

I know you are going to say Clyde, well they are the admin they can edit, remove, delete any post in any forum, that’s there job, and I get that. What I want to know is why be so sneaky “in my opinion” and not have their names next to yours and the docs has admin on this Male Only forum, do you get my point yet?

This is not a Men’s forum moderated by Men has implied, or inferred, this is a forum under the control of the ALL female admin team also, so I don’t think of this has a safe haven to talk openly about our “issues” openly.

Your right, you do have to help yourself on this site, your also right about this not being a male friendly site in general as well, yet the Neanderthal in us compels us to come back daily to see if anything has changed, after 33 months of being a member here, trust me when I say nothing has changed, its still the same old excrement every day, bias in favour of the woman’s feelings and hurts and totally dismissive of the mans perspective.

You either have to accept it or move on to another site, right now I am thinking of moving, I have not progressed in anyway other than finding new ways to utilise the “Denial” feature of my psyche for a long time now, and that’s not helping me in anyway, shape or form.

Mellors, I can definitely understand your frustration, but as just a mod here--there's not much I can do as far as the admin stuff.

Hopefully we can get more male members...

For the most part, I have been the one removing posts from MENS, but not always...

Hope you are doing okay...

Clyde read my post in supporters, I am coming up with ideas all the time for the admin and Doc John to try and increase awareness of this forum to the males, both new and old, on this site, shot down cold is the standard response I get, doesn’t stop me though,

My last suggestion has not even been commented on and its been there 9 days now, and that was a simple suggestion to move the forums, both male and female forums to avoid any conflict, further up the list of available forums, there are currently 40 forums ( not including sub forums) and we, the men’s forum, currently reside at number 32 on the list, it takes forever to scroll down to read, that’s if you manage to get past the link for the games forum first…why am I bothering vocalising?

Mellors out.

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mellors said:
Clyde read my post in supporters, I am coming up with ideas all the time for the admin and Doc John to try and increase awareness of this forum to the males, both new and old, on this site, shot down cold is the standard response I get, doesn’t stop me though,

My last suggestion has not even been commented on and its been there 9 days now, and that was a simple suggestion to move the forums, both male and female forums to avoid any conflict, further up the list of available forums, there are currently 40 forums ( not including sub forums) and we, the men’s forum, currently reside at number 32 on the list, it takes forever to scroll down to read, that’s if you manage to get past the link for the games forum first…why am I bothering vocalising?

Mellors out.

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I was actually in favor of that--there were a few who discussed about possibly adding it to a "new members" message kind of thing.

Just because it is not implemented does not mean others do not agree sometimes with your thoughts--however, Doc John is the one who owns it, not me, so I cant really tell him how to do things...

I have said myself I would love to have a mens forum where we could discuss mens issues and really discuss them, but I just dont see the point of doing so if no one ever shows up.

Also, though, I do see your point, how can they see it if its near the end of the page? Believe me, I do sympathize, but hopefully things may change with the Mens Forum.

Have you tried PMing Doc John again about it?

The phraseology “flogging a dead horse” springs to mind.

I’ve given up trying Clyde, why should I continue to network my butt off to promote the Men’s site only to be repeatedly shot down by the man in charge when valid ideas are presented, even if others do agree with some of my ideas, it doesn’t matter, you forget this is a Femocracy, we only got this forum because the women wanted one also, it was then that we got this forum, before that was agreed some, but not all, of the women were going mad at me for even bring the subject up of a separate men only forum and what it entailed, as usual the women got what they wanted and we got shafted IMO

This forum is a result of Psychcentral wanting to appear “PC” There never was, or is, any real intent in promoting this forum by admin, on any level, that’s patently clear, actions speak louder than words, or lack therefore of them to be pedantic, it wont be long now before the forum is either bumped further down the list or removed completely citing “lack off participation” has the official reason.

I have used all of my mental and emotional reserves to get this far, and enough is enough for me, I give up, I quit, let someone else have a go at finding ways to attract more males to this forum, see how long it takes them to come to the same conclusion as I.

yeah i have to think about wether i will stay here , its tough to come to a place where you know that so many hate you for what you are not what youve done. There are some funny wonderful people here but its hard to get over this loathing and hostility that greets you at the door. funny thing is ive lived my life in service of one kind or another and gave until i ruined my health but i m a man so therefor despite everything im still a selfish self centered untrainable neanderthal. i wonder if the haters have given a small percentage of that i have.

Mellors, generally I don't have the time to read all the forums, all the time. It's simply not possible with hundreds of new postings everyday. I'm sorry I didn't re-read your thread until now, but if you want to get my attention, a PM is usually the only guaranteed way of having me read something.

As for your suggestions, I didn't say they were bad. I simply said that it didn't seem like something that I would be able or willing to implement right now. It's not something the software can support, which means development time and right now all of that time is spoken for well into 2008.

As for moving the forums around, one could make a case for *any* forum to be closer to the top of the list. Do you know how much anger and PMs I got for moving the games forum to the bottom of the list? And yet I have to put some order on these lists, and they have to make some sort of sense, no? The priority of the support community is support for mental health issues, so they will always come first.

I will take another look at the list, though, and see if there's more grouping or reordering I can do to give these forums greater visibility.

At the end of the day, however, most of our members are females, and therefore this forum will always have a much lesser posting ratio than many of the other forums here. I can't make men post more, no matter what I do, nor can I do anything that will make men more aware of the mental health issues in their lives (or the lives of their loved ones).

DocJohn

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mellors said:
there are currently 40 forums ( not including sub forums) and we, the men’s forum, currently reside at number 32 on the list, it takes forever to scroll down to read

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I just timed it, and it took me all of three seconds to scroll down to this board. Forever - hardly.

I don't read here very often, or the other one either, because I'm not particularly interested in the whining of one about the other.

Also, the reception one gay male poster received here, and the suggestion they post in the female support forum instead, left me as a bisexual male much less inclined to read this board at all.

I shall now return to the more generalized boards.

i gottta give credit that someone came up w/the idea of creating this forum, someone granted it, someone has volunteered to moderate it...

i think as grown men we can find a way to benefit not only ourselves, but specifically some potential younger, confused or depreesed new individual somewhere out there who maybe lost a father or needs/wants a man's opinion... i think this forum is an opportunity for men to put their best foot forward...

we could also express ourselves here, as above, in any general way we happen to be feeling or thinking at any given time and to discover ways that men dp support one another.. we all experience deaths and other tragedys... we all need strength from somewhere at some time...but to use this forum as a woman-bashing arena is completely like hitting yourself in the face with the frying pan...

with gay men or any other so-called non MANLY subject or person, i think it would be cool if the this area, as above, maintained an open door policy to all of the male society... just because we don't like something doesn't reduce its existence.. i don't like aggressive people... but they still exist...

just my two...

Nowhere,

I really agree...I wish it could be a place like that you mentioned...however, with the few men here, logistics wise, it will be hard...

I can't believe that happened with the gay poster. All I can say is that I wont respond that way. So far as I'm concerned, we're all just guys.

Cyran0

i believe it happened... the gay bashing i mean... i can believe woman bashing happens too... sometimes it seems our society is somewhat ape like...

ape societies have similar characteristics in ways...

but, i should add... we've come a long way baby...

I think we should do away with men only and women only and have a human only forum...we are all human after all...why must we genderize this forum? and dont give me this crap about what men can only discuss with another man...believe me I ain't gonna discuss my testies with any female let alone a male...even if this thread were passworded and chained and locked doors aint no way no how Im gonna set myself up for a bunch of males to make fun of me or my health issues...and thats what it really amounts to mellors...no one wants to be attacked....when I first saw this thread I thought oh cool blond jokes and porn sites galore...lol...but I realize that I wasn't taking it seriously and I dont think anyone else is either...lol...when we were younger and got a booboo, did we run for daddy to make it better, NO...we ran for mommy...which did me no good either but that is another story...oh damn...I forgot the question...oh yeah...how to get more males involved in this thread? Hmmm....maybe try the password protection and see if that helps...but Doc really should consider doing away with this and all threads that genderize this society because now we will have a gay only thread...a teens only thread...a thread for this and thread for that...how bout we take all the threads and sew them together and make a great big blanket that we all can fit under and we can be warm and safe...lol...dunno guys...my female side took over there sorry...lol...

these are all excellent points mystry... i worked for a service station one time... we used to only carry skoal, copenhagen... a customer could walk in and say "cope" or "skoal"... easy to serve him/her... now days we have avout 50 varieties of chew... when i cashier on Fri i have to ask the guy what color the can is... can't read them all that fast, only doing that one day a week and i can't memorize exactly where each can is located on the rack... same w/cigs... slows the customer down, creates a line for others to stand and wait in... time is money they say...

i wish for simpler times myself... still, change is inevitable...

as the planet becomes more populated, more diverse, niche's arise... somehow we try to satisfy everyone and in the noisy confusion there is still very basic things to remember... be good to each other, strive to be happy... enjoy the here and now... tomorrow it could be worse...